Today, I locked lips with someone, or rather something, other than family for the first time in my life. It was a CPR dummy. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, at a funeral family gathering, I greeted an elderly relative and kissed her palm (it's a family thing). She then took my palm and brought it near her lips, then dropped it and went on her way. I didn't even wanna do that in the first place. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML
Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML
Today, while I was volunteering at the homeless shelter, one of them "accidentally" kissed me. It felt like my face was being sucked by a vacuum. FML
Today, I've been so accustomed to kissing my girlfriend that when I gave my best bud a hug, I kissed him on the neck. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I was cuddling my new boyfriend, when he went in to kiss me for the first time. Sadly, I reflexively kneed him in the balls. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
randomchickkk 0
you lock lips with your family?
DudeBTM 8
So you "locked lips" with family before?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (147)
deefan101 11
why would you lock lips with a family member?!
meggs2209 0
Today, I wrote a FML with bad wording & now everyone thinks I'm incest. FML
kasumii 1
You kiss family members on the lips??! American customs. -_-
TessaFaye 0
why does everyone pick on the south ? we don't all F*** our cousins ..
meggs2209 0
Agreed. I'm an Arkansas girl & I've never kissed/******/married any of my family members.
TessaFaye 0
I'm from Louisiana I have never done anything with any member of my family lol . I hate the bad name that the south has ..
sprkls6 0
your damn! right it's ridiculous what others think. compared to what they know. I bet it happens more in the north than in the south now days.
kelseysking 26
it's because the yankees on here are jealous that we don't get as much snow as they do so they insult the south.
King4aDay 0
dude im 12 and ive kissed a guy.
hpdc 0
but you know what they say about people like you...
tausha87 0
i just learned CPR too, but I'm 23 and only had to learn it for my new job
JokerJohn7 0
you shouldn't be locking lips with your family
Floodan 0
son i am disapoint.... lock ?
ghashlycrumbs 8
Wincest.
TSSB 0
Been there done that, feel for you!