Today, I locked lips with someone, or rather something, other than family for the first time in my life. It was a CPR dummy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, at a funeral family gathering, I greeted an elderly relative and kissed her palm (it's a family thing). She then took my palm and brought it near her lips, then dropped it and went on her way. I didn't even wanna do that in the first place. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML
Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML
Today, while I was volunteering at the homeless shelter, one of them "accidentally" kissed me. It felt like my face was being sucked by a vacuum. FML
Today, I've been so accustomed to kissing my girlfriend that when I gave my best bud a hug, I kissed him on the neck. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I was cuddling my new boyfriend, when he went in to kiss me for the first time. Sadly, I reflexively kneed him in the balls. FML
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Top comments
randomchickkk 0
you lock lips with your family?
DudeBTM 8
So you "locked lips" with family before?
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Comments (147)
otb113 7
don't worry kid... CPR dummies are better than your mom
xgetxbentx 13
ya know, you really shouldn't refer to kissing family members as "locking lips". That just sounds like incest.....
EdwardN 0
lol
Minky1996 0
can't blame you, same here. but just not the "family" bit
wriptidez 0
welllll atleast the dummy wont give u diseases
medway22 0
wow I'm 13 and ive locked lips wit more people
datgamerchick 14
nobody cares about your freaking age and how many people you've kissed. You sound like a *****. Just shut up
Celldwellerfan 0
The first time I kissed a girl was when I was sixteen, I'm not sure how old you are, but I'm sure it could be much worse.
f_my_flip_life 5
Funny how OP "locked lips" with a CPR dummy, when they don't teach the mouth-to-mouth way anymore. You're supposed to use a pocket mask.
datgamerchick 14
When I was around 3 years old my mom would tuck me in bed and tell me to kiss her goodnight, so I'd give her a peck on the lips. Kissing my mom like that at 15 would be weird, but back then it was perfectly innocent.
zombiekitten87 12
are you often in the habit of making out with family members?