Today, I locked lips with someone, or rather something, other than family for the first time in my life. It was a CPR dummy. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, at a funeral family gathering, I greeted an elderly relative and kissed her palm (it's a family thing). She then took my palm and brought it near her lips, then dropped it and went on her way. I didn't even wanna do that in the first place. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML
Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML
Today, while I was volunteering at the homeless shelter, one of them "accidentally" kissed me. It felt like my face was being sucked by a vacuum. FML
Today, I've been so accustomed to kissing my girlfriend that when I gave my best bud a hug, I kissed him on the neck. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I was cuddling my new boyfriend, when he went in to kiss me for the first time. Sadly, I reflexively kneed him in the balls. FML
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Top comments
randomchickkk 0
you lock lips with your family?
DudeBTM 8
So you "locked lips" with family before?
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Comments (147)
griffindragon97 3
stop bragging my teacher wouldn't let me even do that class
mtlooney225 0
YUMMY! How was that for a first kiss??
GavinRoskamp 0
You were born one day before me. Also exactly forty years after Steve Jobs. Creepy.
udontknome 0
At least OP got practice for the real thing
kiaralove53 0
Pucker up?
griffindragon97 3
Ill pucker up
ceddyz17 10
buttercup
BWill9014 4
Not trying to be rude or mean... but I've never understood why some people go so long before experiencing their first kiss... Making out is becoming the new way of formally greeting someone in the teen ages now in days lol... but just keep looking because their is honestly someone out there for everyone whether you just want to kiss or engage in a relationship...
Nikkitaria 9
The more you wait, the more special it'll be (in theory). Also, your momma never told you that just because everyones does something, doesn't mean you have to follow? ;)
Mrrevorp 0
OTHER than family?? Little incest there huh?
kaleighiscool 0
Someone needs some friends ...
rocketeer_97 1
umm wow ? i mean, kissing your mom on the cheek/forehead would be ok. but locked lips ??
mexicotoucher 7
Maybe it's part of OP's culture
rocketeer_97 1
yeah, making out with your family members. nice.
sprkls6 0
haha Ikr
perdix 31
Did you slip it some tongue? Or did it slip you some????
DReamBig24 0
aw feel your pain ;(