Today, I locked lips with someone, or rather something, other than family for the first time in my life. It was a CPR dummy. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, at a funeral family gathering, I greeted an elderly relative and kissed her palm (it's a family thing). She then took my palm and brought it near her lips, then dropped it and went on her way. I didn't even wanna do that in the first place. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML
Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML
Today, while I was volunteering at the homeless shelter, one of them "accidentally" kissed me. It felt like my face was being sucked by a vacuum. FML
Today, I've been so accustomed to kissing my girlfriend that when I gave my best bud a hug, I kissed him on the neck. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I was cuddling my new boyfriend, when he went in to kiss me for the first time. Sadly, I reflexively kneed him in the balls. FML
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Top comments
randomchickkk 0
you lock lips with your family?
DudeBTM 8
So you "locked lips" with family before?
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Comments (147)
skippy_doodaday 5
haha my first kiss was a cpr dummy too! i'd never really thought of it like that before though
Barbie04 0
Eww!
thefuckinloser 6
who the **** in your family you lock lips with ?
KatherineJ 0
At least you're keeping your "lip virginity" hehe... Have nice day.
stevenmx86 8
The fact that this is even significant to you means you're a pathetic attention *****... No one will kiss you because they can't stand to be around you for more than 10 seconds...
snapdragon1100 7
You lock your lips with your families? That's disturbing b
shayundead 9
incest happens everywhere not just in the south -_-
justindrew14 29
um why di lock lips with family thats nasty
willliamfriend 18
At least you are not like my friend. Humping one during the talent show.
thatcoolguy123 14
You lock lips with family? Incest freak...