Today, I learned the only job that actually wants me is as a peanut butter factory worker. I've been unemployed for 9 months. I'm also allergic to nuts. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, I finally decided to try an alternative to peanut butter, since I found out I was allergic a while back. Two hours later I had to be sent home because the allegedly allergen-free SunButter caused my lips and throat to swell and patches of rashes to form all over my body. FML
Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling her that our peanut butter pancakes contain real peanut butter. She's threatening to sue because she's allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, as I was walking home from work, I became the victim of a drive-by peanutting. Yes, apparently I'm only worth a bag of nuts. FML
Today, I found out that my wife purposely eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to get out of kissing me. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, I grabbed a box of my favorite granola bars, the only flavor the brand makes without nuts, which I'm severely allergic to. A visit to the ER after my throat closed up told me that I'd missed the notice on the shelf, warning that they're now making them with peanuts. FML
Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML
Today, I had a serious allergic reaction to the food I ate at a Chinese restaurant that supposedly didn't contain peanuts. According to my waitress, peanut oil "doesn't count". FML
Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML
Today, after years of battling mental health and unemployment, I was rejected from a job packing tomatoes. Apparently I'm unsuitable for even the most basic work. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
Why the **** did you apply there then?
tcox1 0
They are legumes, not nuts. Try looking it up before you act so sure of yourself. Just because it has nut in the word does not make it a nut. i.e a starfish is not a fish.
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Comments (129)
chanma 0
a jobs a job
melanybhalai 0
Peanuts are not nuts their a legume aka a bean if ur allergic to nuts u can mess wit peanuts because they're completely different.
truevindication 2
ydi for applying there. and there are platt of unemployed people who will take any job. stop complainig and go make some money.
raaachel12345 0
good, because peanuts are considered beans.
adamjj234 0
then why did you apply?
4ll4b0utm3 0
nuts aren't so bad once u try them ;)
cheyenne_audrie_ 0
Peanuts actually aren't nuts their fruit.
cetlawizard 15
fruit? wow...where did you go to school...@ home? fruit grows on things ABOVE ground....peanuts grow UNDER the ground like potatoes...lol. :)
EllOfficial 6
peanuts are legumes
thatshouldbeme08 0
peanuts are not nuts! If your allergic to nuts that does not mean you are allergic to peanuts. peanuts are a type of legume which is a bean.
Bubble14 0
hmm well I'm allergic to nuts so I'm ganna apply at a peaNUT butter factory ......? wtf