Today, I learned the only job that actually wants me is as a peanut butter factory worker. I've been unemployed for 9 months. I'm also allergic to nuts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, I finally decided to try an alternative to peanut butter, since I found out I was allergic a while back. Two hours later I had to be sent home because the allegedly allergen-free SunButter caused my lips and throat to swell and patches of rashes to form all over my body. FML
Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling her that our peanut butter pancakes contain real peanut butter. She's threatening to sue because she's allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, as I was walking home from work, I became the victim of a drive-by peanutting. Yes, apparently I'm only worth a bag of nuts. FML
Today, I found out that my wife purposely eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to get out of kissing me. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, I grabbed a box of my favorite granola bars, the only flavor the brand makes without nuts, which I'm severely allergic to. A visit to the ER after my throat closed up told me that I'd missed the notice on the shelf, warning that they're now making them with peanuts. FML
Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML
Today, I had a serious allergic reaction to the food I ate at a Chinese restaurant that supposedly didn't contain peanuts. According to my waitress, peanut oil "doesn't count". FML
Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML
Today, after years of battling mental health and unemployment, I was rejected from a job packing tomatoes. Apparently I'm unsuitable for even the most basic work. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
Why the **** did you apply there then?
tcox1 0
They are legumes, not nuts. Try looking it up before you act so sure of yourself. Just because it has nut in the word does not make it a nut. i.e a starfish is not a fish.
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Comments (129)
FMLsOhilarious 6
So what? You don't have to eat them...and wear gloves if you allergic to having contact with them.
Joyius 0
Apparently you never learned that peanut allergies can get so bad, that even someone inhaling the air around peanuts can have a sever reaction.
shizzle156 0
peanuts are not a nut. they are a lagoon or something like that
Anaxes 5
**** me dead. Lagoon...
angel55033 12
I guess what I'm wondering along with many others I'm sure... WHY on earth did you apply there than?
cin11 0
ydi for having weird friends
cin11 0
oh shyt my bad ddnt mean to post tht^
iR83 3
so it's work till death.. interestin !!
kipdjordy 0
deez nuts
bzett 0
Why would your d.a. apply there if all youd do is walk in and quit breathing?
mouse1 0
why the @@@@ did you apply? retard! ydi
bubblishs 0
what does OP mean :$
FlaGuy21 0
You're right. Being employed nowadays really blows. Suck it up and just be happy.