Love: Today, the ex-girlfriend I'm still in love with sent me an old...

By SadGuy - 26/04/2011 06:18 - United Kingdom

Today, the ex-girlfriend I'm still in love with sent me an old picture with the caption, "I miss us." She looked beautiful and happy. Too bad I'm not the guy she's kissing in the picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 499

You deserved it 3 770

Love

Sudarsky's gas giant classification

Facebook's moderation sucks

Lockdown blues

By loserman67 - 18/07/2016 12:04

Today, I was told that the $8,500 bill for my new water well grew to $11,000 because of a fair amount of overtime. I learned that the men I hired to drill the new well at our home were spending the overtime drilling my daughter as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 698

You deserved it 2 921

By Vero - 17/05/2012 15:02 - Austria - Timelkam

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 279

You deserved it 3 509

By Anonymous - 04/04/2016 22:46 - Switzerland

Today, my boss and I were bragging about our new phones. I unlocked mine to show its awesome display, and accidentally opened a job search app. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 724

You deserved it 7 324

Yes or No?

By Anonymous - 06/02/2020 18:00

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 804

You deserved it 293

No sex, lots of violins

By Anonymous - 21/02/2021 11:01

Today, my violin broke and I have a recital coming up. I gave it to my friend to give it to the luthier and the luthier has fixed it. I asked my friend to return it to me and they became angry I was asking for too many favours. My recital is tomorrow and I can't get my hands on a violin for at least another week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 213

By Anonymous - 14/07/2012 20:10 - Nigeria - Lagos

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 160

You deserved it 54 536

By blinkanimgone - 01/09/2010 11:08 - Australia

Today, I went to the blood bank to donate plasma. All went well until the machine went to return my red blood cells. It turns out the nurse sliced my vein and the blood built up in my tissues. I now have a massive swollen arm and bruising, and look like a junkie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 370

You deserved it 2 624

By Anonymous - 01/12/2018 06:05

Today, I went to the phone store to get a new SIM card. The store manager went on my browser to see if my data was working. Two pages of porn popped up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 478

You deserved it 4 510

By subtweetqueen - 09/09/2016 04:18 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, the 3-year-old I nanny wanted to prove to me that he was tall enough to pee standing up in front of the toilet. When he realized he actually was tall enough, he got excited and misdirected his stream, covering himself, his brother, and me in urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 436

You deserved it 1 209

By Anonymous - 21/01/2010 05:28 - Canada

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, 'don't get naked in front of the TV.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 596

You deserved it 4 446

By catsonuincorns - 15/04/2018 06:00 - United States - Clovis

Today, I was in a car accident with my dad. A wheel slammed into my door, dislocating my arm and breaking it in three places. Later on, the people who hit us came over and gave my little sister a gift basket. She wasn't even in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 448

You deserved it 225

By ash - 04/01/2011 21:09 - United States

Today, was my boyfriends last night visiting my family. My dog decided to go through the trash, then ran up to my dad with one of our used condoms caught on her teeth. My parents didn't even know we were sleeping in the same room. They know a lot more now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 810

You deserved it 14 765

Seventh heaven

By Egyptian ToyBoy - 17/12/2019 20:00

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She had such an uncontrollable aggressive orgasm. I'd celebrate my efforts only if she didn't knock over my new expensive laptop, when then split in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 433

Scratch that itch

By Anonymous - 02/01/2021 04:58

Today, I bought a $50 Nintendo eShop card to redeem on my Nintendo Switch. As I was scratching the grey area, I scratched too hard, making it hard to see what it was. I tried randomly guessing and asking for help. Neither helped. Guess who didn't get $50 back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 747

Stinky

By kmthomas91 - 11/05/2020 23:00

Today, after coming home, my apartment reeked of something fierce. Small animals frequently like to crawl under my apartment since I live next to a wooded area. Apparently, skunks are among those who like to visit, and Febreze isn't helping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 441

You deserved it 114

By footinmouth - 21/01/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I was hitting on a girl that was getting ready to walk into the same class as I. We were waiting outside the room, and I told her that I heard the Professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down in a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 895

You deserved it 38 637

Smile like you mean it

By sad - 24/08/2021 08:01

Today, I was feeling sad and depressed at work, when a customer said, “Smile. It’s nice and sunny outside.” Sunny weather makes me depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 574

By KatVanGogh - 26/08/2013 01:16 - United States - Drexel Hill

Today, my mom is convinced that my cat is the reincarnation of Vincent van Gogh. Why? He sleeps under my sunflowers and is a ginger tabby cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 274

You deserved it 3 140

By Avdhut Joshi - 11/05/2019 23:30 - India - Thane

Today, I set an alarm to wake up for a football match. I woke up after it finished. Turns out, I set my alarm to 12:15 p.m. instead of a.m. I ended up missing one of my team's best performances. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 1 455

By Lockout - 31/08/2015 20:01 - Germany - Kiel

Today, I thought I'd locked my house keys in my locker at work. Not having any replacement nearby, I decided to cut the padlock with the saw of my pocket-knife. It took 20 minutes and four cuts into my hand to destroy the padlock. It took another five seconds to find the missing key in my jacket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 464

You deserved it 21 239

Watch where you're going

By Marriage at it's finest.. - 22/05/2021 13:59

Today, I was riding my scooter and humming a tune while doing so. It happened to be the tune you hear at weddings. I got married to the garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 657

By Unsanitary - 26/06/2011 10:32 - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 360

You deserved it 11 026

By Anonymous - 06/05/2012 04:41 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I went with my boyfriend to the optometrist for him to buy contact lenses for the first time. He said the detail was much better than glasses. I excitedly asked him if he could see my freckles better now, and after a long and disappointed look at my face, he said "Nope, just more acne." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 552

You deserved it 3 752

By Username - 25/11/2011 16:15 - United States

Today, I woke up to the smell of bacon. It smelled so good, and made me very hungry. Then I realized it was my neighbor cooking. I have no money or bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 198

You deserved it 4 146

By yourwifelovesme - 04/06/2019 12:00

Today, my dad was folding laundry. He came across a pair of jeans and asked who they belonged to. My mom said, “Those are definitely mine. The knees are worn out.” Thanks for that mental image mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 494

You deserved it 358

Narcissist

By Jesica Mcgee - 29/10/2020 18:02 - United States - Ferndale

Today, I got a job, a good job with benefits, 401 k, took a lot of work to get this: background check, drug testing, being qualified and I need to pay bills. I can't even be happy because my husband got demoted. It's all about him, and fuck my hard work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 260

You deserved it 109

By twingirl - 14/08/2009 21:57 - United States

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 709

You deserved it 4 137

By Stupid - 20/04/2011 02:29 - United States

Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 086

You deserved it 18 576

By Anonymous - 09/11/2014 18:49 - United States - Springfield

Today, as I was waiting in line at the check out, some guy came up behind me, plucked a hair out of my head, and ran off with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 343

You deserved it 2 970

By ughhhh - 10/11/2009 17:04 - United States

Today, my roommate's boyfriend told me he would be driving the several hours EVERY weekend to come see his girlfriend. As a couple, they are constantly all over each other, and can't seem to break out of the annoying baby talk voice. Plus, they like to kick me out of the room to do stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 318

You deserved it 5 746

By Laila - 20/02/2013 12:01 - United States

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 481

You deserved it 5 209

By Anonymous - 14/08/2018 15:00

Today, my boyfriend's car broke down on the way to the gym, so he called his dad to give us a ride. On the way, his dad talked about how much he hates me and our relationship, as if I wasn’t sitting in the back seat directly behind them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 978

You deserved it 194

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 567

You deserved it 15 075

By thebeachisthatway - 22/10/2012 18:56 - United States - Worcester

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 147

You deserved it 5 250

By ray - 17/11/2011 11:22 - United States

Today, I learned how hard it is to remove peanut butter from your own eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 004

You deserved it 24 140

By creys - 18/11/2012 07:04 - United States

Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 155

You deserved it 2 502

By stillloverher - 19/09/2017 23:45

Today, when I woke up I saw that my bald head is covered with my wife's period blood. Again. She does it regularly once a month, despite asking her not to. She thinks this blood activates hair growth. She is serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 108

You deserved it 488

By A Henderson - 25/04/2012 20:50 - United States

Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 103

You deserved it 2 239

By myennechee - 18/03/2009 05:22 - Germany

Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, he looked at me and said "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 113

You deserved it 91 808

By csully - 10/01/2009 06:34 - France

Today, I made some popcorn. Returning to the kitchen a couple of minutes later, I realized I was supposed to put a cover on the saucepan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 152

You deserved it 26 676

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Top comments

flickyourbic1223 7

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 12:01

Does anyone else think she did it on purpose?

48Connor 10

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 13:25

Send her a picture of your dick, with the caption; "You miss this?"

fireice22 0

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 11:46

ouch

flickyourbic1223 7

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 12:05

Is your name like the rf poem?

48Connor 10

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 13:25

Send her a picture of your dick, with the caption; "You miss this?"

lbf_fml 0

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 13:37

^ win.

novair 5

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 14:12

that bish

sherryl_fml 0

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 14:29

ha funny

CheckMyProfile 17

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 14:37

Maybe she wanted to sent it to the other person?

CheckMyProfile 17

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 15:00

send*

yohooooooo 5

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 19:11

39 is a champ

that1guy95 0

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 23:52

I second this

roro9944 0

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Wednesday 27 April 2011 2:10

lmao 39 win

funnyFMLSplz 0

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Wednesday 27 April 2011 5:48

what a second. I actually think the OP's ex is trying to give a sign...

dan_the_man32 0

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Wednesday 27 April 2011 8:00

131 your an ass, maybe she wasn't good enough for him, or she was sex mad and his small dick couldn't fulfill her needs

dan_the_man32 0

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Wednesday 27 April 2011 8:04

print it off a4 size, then wank off over it and cum on her face

takeapieandrun 9

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 11:47

Ouch. That's harsh.

takeapieandrun 9

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 11:49

I just noticed my comment is almost the same as the first one...

Nimmrodel 11

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 12:22

10 points for observation go to you.

Miss_Michaela 10

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 12:34

Would have been better if you'd said: '10 points to Gryffindor!'. :P

CryMoreFMLs 14

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 15:09

10 points ro Hufflepuff! 'cause we all know they can't do anything right....

H0llyV 0

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 17:53

your cute

Beebow_fml 5

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 11:47

Maybe she missed being sad and bored with you, but didn't have anything to show for it.

Tuesdays76 0

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 16:08

or wrong number :/

diabian 9

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 11:49

thats cute.. i wish i had a dollar everytime that happened to me.. i would have had zero dollars.

iLazy 0

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 12:26

Cuz you can't get a girlfriend at all?

Darcon 8

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 13:37

That's not what he meant...

ButtRaep 0

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 14:15

he means he likes guys and so doesn't have girlfriends

Nimmrodel 11

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 15:26

I think he meant to be funny but utterly failed but that's just a theory.

HeavyMetalViking 0

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 17:21

It is also theory that it takes two hands to clap, however I found out my hand with your face makes a far better sound.

dirtyblond 4

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 18:14

LOL!(x ^

Krajjan 9

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 19:18

I would have 2 bucks. Then I sent them pictures of my new girlfriend. Even they admit she's hot. Small victories, man.

diabian 9

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 21:28

I wasn't being funny.. its true that i can never find a girl friend because my wife doesn't allow me. By the way, my wife is my "left hand".

ydi_4_suking 20

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Wednesday 27 April 2011 0:10

cheat on your wife with your right hand

dan_the_man32 0

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Wednesday 27 April 2011 8:02

hahahaha I laughed pretty hard at this 

Saint_Pete_Saint 0

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Wednesday 27 April 2011 22:51

tthats funny

diabian 9

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Thursday 28 April 2011 9:58

117- hmmm that sounds like a good idea.. i will wait until my wife goes to sleep!

Miss_Awesome_101 0

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Tuesday 21 June 2011 23:06

your a stupid weirdo

NoWaitNotNow 0

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 11:56

well, don't just sit there. Do something! Send her a letter telling of a great trip to a brothel and use explicit details. who cares if it didn't happen. at least she'll think you can still have "fun."

insanesna1l 0

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 13:12

tell her you miss the way she used to do that thing with her tongue, no wait, that was her mum.

4XxXo_OxXx4 0

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 14:06

lol your pic is from an ETF mv right?

cupcakeslayer 0

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 16:15

number 6 I like your thinking. only start the letter off " I can seem to remember you, are you the girl..."

cupcakeslayer 0

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 16:17

can't*

NoWaitNotNow 0

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 20:38

51- It most definitely is!

FMLollie 7

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 11:58

Ouch that sucks! She must have got the address mixed up or the photo :(

you_failed 15

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 11:59

Aw poor you. That must have sucked big time... :| FYL indeed.

JPabla03 0

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 15:31

aren't you from Vegas?

FailBear920 19

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 12:00

Cut his head out and make it yours!

dan_the_man32 0

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Wednesday 27 April 2011 8:06

lol

mzfoxy31 0

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 12:01

That was no accident!!!

cookilicious 0

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Wednesday 27 April 2011 1:03

accidents dont just happen like that !

horselove123 0

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Wednesday 27 April 2011 5:35

I hope so

flickyourbic1223 7

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 12:01

Does anyone else think she did it on purpose?

MRobvious750 0

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 12:50

That does suck. Sorry.

unkhammun 5

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 14:45

yeap. my ex did that to me for years, even after i had been married to someome else... she'd email me pics of her that were "imtended" for all her contacts and type in caps "sorry if got this by mistake" but then the only address she had on the email address line was mine... i felt bad for her!