Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to lick the excess peanut butter off the knife after making a PB and J. Turns out the knife can and will cut your tongue, even though you don't think it will. FML
Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML
Today, I realised a second too late why trying to hack a popcorn kernel out from between your teeth with a steak knife is really a bad idea. FML
Today, I got headbutted for saying that Nutella is overrated. FML
Today, by being clumsy when putting my bread slices on a plate, I invented a sensational new type of sandwich: The Nutella-Salmon-Garlic Double-Decker. FML
Today, I learned a valuable life lesson : Never attempt to swallow your pills with a swig of hot tea. FML
Today, I broke my wrist because a Nutella glass fell on it after I opened the cupboard. FML
Today, I learned that, when choking on a piece of food, you can cough hard enough to partially prolapse a hemorrhoid. FML
Today, I found out that if you see a tray with some black stuff in it and you can't decide whether it's powdered black pepper or cigarette ashes, it's not a good idea to taste it. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML
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Top comments
Readoll 13
Absolutely stupid... YDI
HowieDoIt 21
Much sharper than OP, I'm guessing.
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Comments (196)
worldclassrager 41
I'm surprised your are still alive The spoon is a great invention
flashback_fml 14
Try a steak knife next time, it's much better
ShieldGirl23 4
Isn't that common sense?
evilhulk1 2
you also should not light yourself on fire...but I guess there is a reason they put "caution hot" on coffee cups...
RedPillSucks 33
Hi. My name is Mack, "The Knife", Johnson.
puppis 1
thats not the only thing what you're going to take deep-throat today ;)
puppis 1
thats not the only thing what you're going to take deep-throat tonight ;)
kz101 3
I tell my preschool children not to lick the plastic knife s with cream cheese. ..but this is even better.
Eivana 37
Are you ******* STUPID??!! You could have licked the SIDES of the knife if you couldn't wait! Oh how foolish!
Inkay 13
You wouldn't even have to deep throat it. There's this thing called licking the sides so this doesn't happens.