FML : Today, I went to lick the excess peanut butter off the knife after making a PB and J. Turns out the knife can and will cut your tongue, even though you...

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Today, I went to lick the excess peanut butter off the knife after making a PB and J. Turns out the knife can and will cut your tongue, even though you don't think it will. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By bobby / Saturday 12 June 2010 22:13 / United States

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Top comments

By JesseJaymz | 0

#1028919 - Sunday 13 June 2010 03:01

you didn't think a knife made to cut things could cut u?

By kraykray_fml | 0

#1028917 - Sunday 13 June 2010 03:01

duh. thats pretty obvious it a KNIFE...

Comments

By bwfc83 | 0

#1028915 - Sunday 13 June 2010 03:00

yes. it will

RugbyKid | 0

#1028921 - Sunday 13 June 2010 03:02

thanks for pointing out the obvious op

nyrangers1022 | 6

#1028928 - Sunday 13 June 2010 03:05

my comments wont show....ydi for being stupid. i do this all the time but i dont lick the sharp part of the knife

sammiller4 | 3

#1028930 - Sunday 13 June 2010 03:06

op I feel your pain

tashbash | 0

#1028934 - Sunday 13 June 2010 03:09

Not neasicarily, there are some blunt knives for spreading butter and stuff, maybe the OP had a knife like that and that's why they didn't think they would cut them.

gutzzzz | 0

#1028942 - Sunday 13 June 2010 03:13

it also turns out that they let ignorant people reproduce..... that's how you came along :p

RugbyKid | 0

#1028946 - Sunday 13 June 2010 03:16

#26: win

MarkSeattle | 0

#1028961 - Sunday 13 June 2010 03:21

don't ever use power tools. or do, then we'll get a real FML

zuluz | 0

#1028972 - Sunday 13 June 2010 03:27

omg the new sherlock?:O

wtfwtjd | 0

#1028982 - Sunday 13 June 2010 03:34

Or maybe you shouldn't use a machete to make a sandwich

comatoast | 0

#1028983 - Sunday 13 June 2010 03:34

yeah dumbass, it's a knife. it's sole purpose is to cut stuff

NuMuzik | 0

#1028994 - Sunday 13 June 2010 03:41

have u ever got ur tongue cut by a knife?

madarchod | 0

#1029006 - Sunday 13 June 2010 03:46

26 is right. Now op should try to sit on fire and wonder why her ass got burned

MrCalves | 0

#1029008 - Sunday 13 June 2010 03:47

actually just don't acknowledge the knife cut. then it won't exist, right?

TaylorTotsYumm | 10

#1029032 - Sunday 13 June 2010 03:58

Don't make fun of the OP. He has a mental illness.

MiZz_dAnni | 0

#1029035 - Sunday 13 June 2010 04:02

ouchhh :(

FMLRevoluSean | 0

#1029036 - Sunday 13 June 2010 04:02

Bullshit op I don't blame the knife here but ya knever know.

Nylecroc | 0

#1029038 - Sunday 13 June 2010 04:04

ydi for being a guy and sticking something in your mouth that ends in B&J

gutzzzz | 0

#1029040 - Sunday 13 June 2010 04:05

peanut butter ends in "er" and knife ends in "fe" nice try though :)

Nylecroc | 0

#1029042 - Sunday 13 June 2010 04:09

As he says, he stuck PB&J in his mouth. It makes sense.

MiZz_dAnni | 0

#1029046 - Sunday 13 June 2010 04:11

100- lol :P

666Alyssa | 3

#1029047 - Sunday 13 June 2010 04:13

Knives cut things. Most people know that. What did you do? Press it against your tongue very hard?

MiGman | 5

#1029048 - Sunday 13 June 2010 04:13

#100/103: win

FMLRevoluSean | 0

#1029054 - Sunday 13 June 2010 04:17

102 what???

MeLlamoMaddie | 0

#1029056 - Sunday 13 June 2010 04:18

no it won't cut your tongue it will SliCE yur tongue open smart one i've learned that before

ThisGuyHasCrabs | 0

#1029061 - Sunday 13 June 2010 04:21

to jas... because I want to be your husband.

ThisGuyHasCrabs | 0

#1029067 - Sunday 13 June 2010 04:25

Today, I was turned down after asking the love of my life if I could be her husband. FML ... that would never be approved so you have to say yes... lol

ninjacapo | 2

#1029071 - Sunday 13 June 2010 04:29

if the bread was wheat ydi.

Stevefett | 0

#1029072 - Sunday 13 June 2010 04:29

Ever hear of a butter knife nerd?

gutzzzz | 0

#1029074 - Sunday 13 June 2010 04:31

it never said he put pb&j in his mouth, just a knife with peanut butter on it, so 100's joke doesn't make sense :P thats why i said "er" or "fe" cuz he only put peanut butter, and a knife in his mouth. duhhh :P

PeanutButterPudd | 0

#1029076 - Sunday 13 June 2010 04:33

I agree with 125 :)

FMLRevoluSean | 0

#1029081 - Sunday 13 June 2010 04:36

i still dont get it...

goingdown_fml | 0

#1029085 - Sunday 13 June 2010 04:41

I knew this wasn't gonna end well when I saw pbnj and knife

autumn16 | 0

#1029086 - Sunday 13 June 2010 04:41

ydi bc you like peanut butter... ewwwww it's so nasty

Delaneymarie | 0

#1029104 - Sunday 13 June 2010 04:53

you're make ups so nasty:P

My_Deathbed | 0

#1029108 - Sunday 13 June 2010 04:57

thats true!

hockeyguy79 | 0

#1029110 - Sunday 13 June 2010 04:59

114- nice pic

sammiller4 | 3

#1029112 - Sunday 13 June 2010 05:05

hey it's my lover! talkin about autumn btw

jizwiz | 3

#1029113 - Sunday 13 June 2010 05:05

OPs story came off to be very sexual to me. He was trying to lick the excess semen off the other mans dick and didnt realize how hard it was. Turns out no matter how careful you try to be your gonna end up biting him at some point. Just my opinion. But I do think the OP is a penis sucking fagot.... Not that theres anything wrong with that. Personally I enjoy sucking other mens suculent penises

Gannon1994 | 0

#1029118 - Sunday 13 June 2010 05:08

OP, are you honestly that fucking retarded?

autumn16 | 0

#1029119 - Sunday 13 June 2010 05:08

157 ok first of all my make ups not nasty. tons of people want me to do theirs, too. sorry if that makes you jealous or whatever. oh and I rather have eyeliner that I can change whenever I want, than be stuck looking like you.

autumn16 | 0

#1029121 - Sunday 13 June 2010 05:09

SAM (: hey love

ThisGuyHasCrabs | 0

#1029122 - Sunday 13 June 2010 05:11

burn baby!!! fafp

LoneliestxHobo | 0

#1029123 - Sunday 13 June 2010 05:11

What?? do you butter your bread with steak knive's? no way a butter knife could do that

jrkarikas | 0

#1029124 - Sunday 13 June 2010 05:14

imagine that; a knife that can cut stuff...

LoneliestxHobo | 0

#1029125 - Sunday 13 June 2010 05:15

103.... he stuck a peanut blow and job in his mouth?

Giorgio272 | 2

#1029127 - Sunday 13 June 2010 05:16

WTF was the op using a steak knife?? I lick the apprent "sharp" end of a butter knife all the time with no trouble. op must just be a tool.

autumn16 | 0

#1029128 - Sunday 13 June 2010 05:16

what's fafp?

taybabay | 0

#1029129 - Sunday 13 June 2010 05:17

Nnnnnno they don't.

XxDevilxXGt | 26

#1029132 - Sunday 13 June 2010 05:19

and you're dumb as hell for saying you're when talking about her makeup hahaha fail word use.

autumn16 | 0

#1029133 - Sunday 13 June 2010 05:21

bahahaha

XxDevilxXGt | 26

#1029134 - Sunday 13 June 2010 05:21

it means fuck anti flood protection :)

autumn16 | 0

#1029137 - Sunday 13 June 2010 05:26

oh I couldve guessed at that but I guess it's the blonde hair (: lol thanks

XxDevilxXGt | 26

#1029141 - Sunday 13 June 2010 05:32

no problem haha the blonde hair.. i guess that could be why, that hair can steal some of your thoughts at times xD looks good though :)

sammiller4 | 3

#1029146 - Sunday 13 June 2010 05:35

how's it goin dear :)

autumn16 | 0

#1029152 - Sunday 13 June 2010 05:37

hahaha yeaaa (: thanks lol and sam I'm pretty good ((: how was your day (:

sammiller4 | 3

#1029153 - Sunday 13 June 2010 05:39

my day was pretty shitty lol and yours

666Alyssa | 3

#1029178 - Sunday 13 June 2010 06:09

Aww, don't pick on the 14yr old (157). Its not her fault she doesn't know how to write things correctly and thinks insulting people online will make her "cool".

DesiGir324 | 0

#1029187 - Sunday 13 June 2010 06:13

No shit, Sherlock. YDI.

skape91 | 0

#1029202 - Sunday 13 June 2010 06:27

 be more careful lolz

StoryOfTheYear | 13

#1029209 - Sunday 13 June 2010 06:39

Holy carps! A knife can cut your tounge??? Next OP will be saying a fork can stab things, god, I swear people are getting nuttier by the day

FarSide | 22

#1029210 - Sunday 13 June 2010 06:42

YDI for not making your old lady fix your sammich.

Delaneymarie | 0

#1029212 - Sunday 13 June 2010 06:43

143 (or girl who I jokingly said had nasty makeup) I'm sorry if I offended you it's just something me and me friends do to each other :P <-- means joke. I don't think your makeups nasty. I don't even care about it lol sorry you think I'm ugly and I offended you I really didn't mean to:/

Snugglez | 0

#1029213 - Sunday 13 June 2010 06:44

I hate peanut butter! but OP you deserve it for being stupid

time4coffee | 3

#1029224 - Sunday 13 June 2010 06:54

duh

summersizzle | 0

#1029232 - Sunday 13 June 2010 06:59

171 someone insulted the way you look, don't stoop down to their level and do the same thing because it makes you look just as bad as them. and btw # 157 is not ugly, and #171's make up is not nasty. this isn't a place to judge peoples profile pictures it's a place to discuss the fml.

maxdashz | 0

#1029241 - Sunday 13 June 2010 07:14

241:Thank you so much. Usually when I see a reply like that, it is either "first", "ouch", or "lol" in the first comment. Not only does that have nothing to do with the comment, it also has nothing to do with the post. I can tell you are very famous online, I have seen you before, but the brain in your picture has been enlarged.

OMGJASMiNE | 0

#1029242 - Sunday 13 June 2010 07:17

ouchh!

OMGJASMiNE | 0

#1029248 - Sunday 13 June 2010 07:22

yes I'll be yur wife(:

Dragons_corner | 6

#1029265 - Sunday 13 June 2010 07:36

has anyone herd if a BUTTER KNIFE they are not sharp at all that might be what op is talking about =p

pingpongpickle | 8

#1029267 - Sunday 13 June 2010 07:39

peanut butter is gross

LilAfo | 4

#1029297 - Sunday 13 June 2010 08:38

or u could say, wow what an idiot wow and that would be another way to describe his idiocy :b

PurpleLlamas | 0

#1029299 - Sunday 13 June 2010 08:45

63-he was using a butter knife. they arent sharp. their "sole purpose" is to spread dumby

PurpleLlamas | 0

#1029303 - Sunday 13 June 2010 08:49

157-so is yours...oh wait thats your face my apoligies

PurpleLlamas | 0

#1029304 - Sunday 13 June 2010 08:50

179-its fu*k anti flood protection

ujonesy | 0

#1029322 - Sunday 13 June 2010 09:40

I would let 171 do my makeup allllllll day.

Dragons_corner | 6

#1029333 - Sunday 13 June 2010 10:02

you all are saying op is a idiot or something but your just making youself look like a idiot if you have silverwaer go to were you keep them and look at it that thing that looks like a knife but cam cut with out a massive fource that is called a BUTTER KNIFE or how about you google BUTTER KNIFE and learn something.

zac2012 | 0

#1029335 - Sunday 13 June 2010 10:12

fucking duh!

karina_said | 0

#1029342 - Sunday 13 June 2010 10:33

...cuts like a knife

xXLenaXx | 0

#1029376 - Sunday 13 June 2010 01:27

171, err... 157 is actually really pretty, she's just not loaded with make-up. : you seem a bit insecure to use so much eye-liner and then tell girls without any they don't look good. fyl.

SerenaChaos805 | 0

#1029389 - Sunday 13 June 2010 03:09

ive uses butter knifes a lot. and lick them never once have i been cut ... but that sucks op. try using a spoon next time

Bear_Flu | 0

#1029391 - Sunday 13 June 2010 03:22

Today, I cut my leg off with a power saw because I wanted to test how sharp it was... FML

xXLenaXx | 0

#1029392 - Sunday 13 June 2010 03:25

hahahahaha, 306 :D

autumn16 | 0

#1029485 - Sunday 13 June 2010 05:10

218 damn right gahh it's funny when so many people say I'm pretty and then random girls say I'm ugly. and sam I actually had a decent day. why'd you have a crappy one

autumn16 | 0

#1029488 - Sunday 13 June 2010 05:12

243 yea thanks I think

autumn16 | 0

#1029492 - Sunday 13 June 2010 05:15

291 uhmm haha that's a compliment right? lol

autumn16 | 0

#1029494 - Sunday 13 June 2010 05:20

301- really? stfu please. I'm not insecure at all so don't tell me I seem that way. ok? I wear alot of eyeliner because it looks good with my style and I often don't wear make up at all. just when I feel like it. and I didn't say she is not pretty because she isn't wearing eyeliner in her picture. because honestly she is wearing eyeliner. so look at the facts before you state something. please and thank you (: with love, Autumn (:

xXLenaXx | 0

#1029645 - Sunday 13 June 2010 07:59

Autumn, soz if that offended you, but to me "i'd rather..than be stuck looking like you" is criticising people's looks. you'd seem a lot more confident if you don't criticise how other people look. your make-up looks really good though, i won't deny that :) Sincere Regards, Lena. :P

autumn16 | 0

#1029667 - Sunday 13 June 2010 08:18

lol ok haha I wouldn't had even said anything to her if she didn't say that I mean it wasn't called for. and thanks lol your really pretty by the way

xXLenaXx | 0

#1029678 - Sunday 13 June 2010 08:24

ohh i was actually gonna comment again to say, who calls you ugly??? they must be blind as fuck :P you're gorgeous :) aww thankyoo, that's so nice of you ^^

Skullcrusher | 5

#1029704 - Sunday 13 June 2010 09:00

You, my friend, are a major dumbass! 

Delaneymarie | 0

#1029776 - Sunday 13 June 2010 11:23

I'm not wearing eyeliner, that's mascara. y'all are dumb for making such a huge deal out of a joke but then again I'm pretty sure that my small 14 yr old mind just couldn't comprehend how much greater and prettier y'all all are. chill out.

autumn16 | 0

#1029794 - Monday 14 June 2010 12:21

thank you Lena haha and your welcome (: but your prettier than me

xXLenaXx | 0

#1029817 - Monday 14 June 2010 12:54

are you crazy? no way. you look hawt. :) I can't even work make-up.. a sorry excuse for a female i am. Autumn, do my make-up for me please haha. :D

hwkfan1 | 10

#1029841 - Monday 14 June 2010 01:29

PBJ=Penis-Blow-Job

Lexiegirlxx | 4

#1029918 - Monday 14 June 2010 03:40

lmao op u fail =p

anonhxc | 0

#1029971 - Monday 14 June 2010 04:52

Why the flying fuck are you using a sharp knife??

heyygirll | 0

#1030184 - Monday 14 June 2010 03:48

shut up go put some more eyeliner on

Pointy130 | 0

#1030357 - Monday 14 June 2010 08:50

You must suck at it. I do it all the time and never hurt myself.

autumn16 | 0

#1030643 - Tuesday 15 June 2010 07:32

333 lol it took me a while to learn how do do it right and make it look decent lol and even now all I use is eyeliner and mascara lol

connorfinch | 0

#1031086 - Tuesday 15 June 2010 05:40

what?! I thought if you don't think something will happen it won't!

PrincessesCrown | 17

#2597969 - Wednesday 1 June 2011 05:13

157 is beautiful and you autumn, well you look like you just climbed out of a tar pit and couldn't scrub the black off your eyes. I don't know any guys that like the way people like you do their makeup. And that is nasty, black eyes are so ugly. I can't believe people go around like that, you look like you have two bruised eyes. I prefer a more natural look. That way you can show true beauty.