Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to lick the excess peanut butter off the knife after making a PB and J. Turns out the knife can and will cut your tongue, even though you don't think it will. FML
Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML
Today, I realised a second too late why trying to hack a popcorn kernel out from between your teeth with a steak knife is really a bad idea. FML
Today, I got headbutted for saying that Nutella is overrated. FML
Today, by being clumsy when putting my bread slices on a plate, I invented a sensational new type of sandwich: The Nutella-Salmon-Garlic Double-Decker. FML
Today, I learned a valuable life lesson : Never attempt to swallow your pills with a swig of hot tea. FML
Today, I broke my wrist because a Nutella glass fell on it after I opened the cupboard. FML
Today, I learned that, when choking on a piece of food, you can cough hard enough to partially prolapse a hemorrhoid. FML
Today, I found out that if you see a tray with some black stuff in it and you can't decide whether it's powdered black pepper or cigarette ashes, it's not a good idea to taste it. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML
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Top comments
Readoll 13
Absolutely stupid... YDI
HowieDoIt 21
Much sharper than OP, I'm guessing.
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Comments (196)
gracehi 33
You should hang out with the guy who draws **** and balls during work meetings. I bet you two would have LOTS to talk about.
sdroze1389 31
#23. nice
Goblin182 27
I could . . if you want . . it would . . . never mind.
Harpy20 24
You'd lick it off yourself.
Goblin182 27
If I could reach I wouldn't spend time reading FMYLIFE.
Jessj958 19
Not the sharpest tool in the shed are you? I can't believe you would even attempt that OP! My seven year old even knows better.
game0ver_fml 18
Dumbass.
CatcherQueen 15
I just use a spoon. I'm not holding back.
Shortay92 10
I feel ur pain
Pleonasm 36
Do you also deep-throat knives in your spare time?
Nilorak 24
I bet you do.
valentinov 15
Is there a new trendy iron diet going around? Keep up your metabolism by deep-throating metal knives? Wtf?! If you two make a team-up with the guy that draws dicks at office: the dick who draws dicks and the morons who have the balls to deep-throat knives.
Feliciano 12
White girl alert Spread the message Put cards in Ugg boxes
ksks1234 33
What?
cryssycakesx3 23
get the Starbucks!!
really_ouch 3
bet it was a kitchen knife
olpally 33
Please don't breed. Good god.
CountWest 6
It's probably too late. No doubt OP's spawn are already running around with scissors, talking to strangers and shoving nutella flavored butcher knives down their throats. Mother of God...
sassypenguinxox 15
Wtf were you thinking? O that's right, you weren't...fail -_-