By captainkevineff - 11/03/2010 14:44 - United States

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks 25 947
You deserved it 3 638
May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…
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Top comments

birds_fml 7

It will if you put the apple up your ass. Then there'll be no room for a qtip.

66 0
blaaaaakely 0

just pretend it's Angelina Jolie.

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Comments

aeliz 0

This made me giggle. In the buuuttttttttt.

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aeliz 0

Hahaha YOU just made me giggle. I literally LOL'd :P. No, my butt didn't giggle... That was meant to be said in the same tone as "she's a hooo, fo sho" from 40 year old virgin :].

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jonathangt20 0

you in the hospital? they do that when u go in the hospital to check for viruses

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Monikabug 9

The OP's name is Kevin, so therefore I am going to guess it was a prostate exam. So, yes it is pretty common. Get off of Snick's back.

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Maygen 5

For those who don't realize, gonorrhea has been known to present in the rectal/anal area. So if OP was going for a regular check-up with an STD screening, a swabbing of the rectal/anal area is totally normal and nothing to be all "OMG FML!!!!" about. And it's hardly 'up' your butt, it's a quick swab and that's it. The doctor probably did a throat and penile swab as well, and the penile swab hurts more than a anal swab. Or so I've heard, being a woman I have no clue what a penile swab would feel like. So OP, YDI for being such a baby about your own sexual health.

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lets_be_ian 5

again, I agree if the OP knew this going into the appointment. I don't quite agree that the average Dr should surprise you with "I want to put X in your butt". The post doesn't really make that clear however.

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okieraider71 4

Wait till they run a camera up there. Feels like it is going to come out your nose. And then they ask if you want to watch on the monitor. Not even on You Tube!

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ktbird 0

Going to have to agree with 53 and 54 here. If your doctor regularly sticks things up your ass you might want to consider switching doctors. Only exception to this is males older than 40, and pretty much all of us don't fall into that category. They didn't do anything like that at my hubby's annual physical, who is 27.

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lets_be_ian 5

I have to agree here... If I am at a Dr and he decides to put anything up my ass, the answer is NO!!! Something of that nature is like having bad insurance... requires pre-authorization. i am sorry but I just don't buy the "Well, it is time for your regular check up... let's see what we have to put up your ass today!". I suspect that Dr. if the OP did not know this was part of the visit going in (so to speak:).

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lucidlucia 0

I think you have to eat an apple each day. Apple matinis don't count. I think the saying assumes you don't have anal intercourse.

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Resquall 0

smartman136 is obviously a troll. He put that "midol" bs on a different fml, as well.

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MermaidSongXOXO 6

Yeek. Oh god. This FML brings back so many memories. Most of them involving suppositories and a pneumonia shot on the ass. The rest of them are fantasies.....

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