By obsessed - 27/11/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML
I agree, your life sucks 9 240
You deserved it 89 661

Same thing different taste

Top comments

some people just need to be punched in the face. you are among them.


Sorry for posting at the top, but in my opinion this FML is bullshit and I bet the OP is just trying to get a response out of us. If not then yeah YDI, please don't procreate.

procreate? i'm hoping she does us all a favor and drinks that bottle of windex. OP - here's a hint, kissing edward cullen would feel like nothing because HE'S NOT REAL.

i_love_you143 0

hiii sorry, that sucks :( but i totally understand haha im a huuuuuge twighlight fan but you never saw a christmas story? aren't you scared you might get stuck or something?

Mirequetz 6

This is not as much about Twilight as it is about the freaking dillusional woman kissing and licking her window to feel what it would be like to kiss a fictional character. Seriously though, those movies are for pathetic lonely milfs and their daughters to ********** to. You know a 40-something year old woman asked Taylor Lautner (in front of her daughter) to sign her underwear if she could get them of somehow because she was wearing Team Taylor underwear? ******* pedophiles, leave the poor kid alone.

how the HELL is kissing a window like kissing someone? You are ******* retarded and I hope you get aids from your window.

fringle 0

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

youre a huuuuge twilight fan but you cant spell twilight?

justdancebbyx3 7

FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL ******* FAIL. Oh, and Jacob is way better. :P Edward is a sparkling faggy douche.

did yer window have lips? otherwise it wouldntbe like kissin edward...more like idk...kissing a cold window.

Nah, nah, you went about it all wrong. What you WANT to do is break the window and shove the pieces of frozen glass in your pussy to know what ******* him would be like.

I hate how Twitards are giving all teenage girls a bad name. I'm a teenage girl and I strongly dislike Twilight.

This chick is a ******* loser. I like Twilight, I really do, I got into it a few months before the massive hype started to hit, and while I still enjoy it, people like this really take the fun of it away. It's a fictional story with fictional characters based on a dream. Believe it or not OP, it is possible to be a fan of something and enjoy something without turning into a creepy bitch. "OMG, Edward is sooooooo dreamy, oh and he's cold and his skin is hard, so a cold piece of glass will feel the same as his lips!!!" You're an embarrassment to mankind, and I can't remember what person said this, but to the person who said don't procreate, I sincerely concur. You children won't have much of a chance of contributing to society in any other ways than making good gossip for being arrested for stalking the tween-crush of their time. And a quick copy and paste of comment #188: "Edward IS fictional. So, a PSA to OP and all other fans - Robert is not Edward, and Taylor is not Jacob. Please learn the difference." That is all.

Also, unlike a lot of other Twilight fans, I am more than happy to make fun of the series. My boyfriend and I often exchange links and stories mocking the series for a bit of a laugh, he finds the entire series ridiculous, and this link really does make the series pretty laughable.

CarterColbie 4

#56 has the right idea lol. And this is really pathetic, how hard is it to understand that these Twilight characters are works of fiction.

Poor kid? He knew exactly what he was getting into.

Kissing a window is further off base than just liking something stupid, kid. It is probably a good sign of some serious mental problems.

MiseryAlice 0

It's not "different" if almost every teenage girl now adays is obsessed with it. And no, I can't respect sparkling vampires.

Kuroftw 0

QFT! Also, OP is the kind of person that makes us fans look even worse. Stupid bitch.

ok im a big twilight fan, but seriously? wtf?! no wonder people keep bashing on it its because of wierdo fans like you :P

Janbean 0

I'm the the *biggest* Twilight fan, but I do like it. There is a different between "hating" on a "fan" and hating on a... well... a weirdo. Seriously... kissing a cold window to imagine kissing a fictional character? That is just stupid. Fan or not.

LOL, if it was only "liking" the book or movie........

Hannah_Brooke 0

Don't make this about teenage girls. Some of us think the Harry Potter and Twilight shit is stupid.

SuicideX 0

But I don't think anyone else here tried kissing a window... In order to experience what it'd be like to kiss a dead guy WHO'S NOT EVEN REAL. That is all.

Ha, window aids. These are the kind of things you don't post on the internet.

klynne2010 0

Finally someone in there right mind! First of all edward Cullen is not hot in any way shape or form the only reason everyone is freaking out is because most teenage girls are to edging stupid to actually use their own opinion and just listen to everyone else is saying.. Not all teenage girls are stupid some of us have a head on our sholders and can think for our selves so my god please can we act like it

eMo_gurll200 0

u shouldn't hate all teenage girls. just the crazy ones that kiss windows. the rest of us r pretty normal =]

mrstomkaulitz 0

pathetic because unlike most people you're obsessed with the character... not the actor...

What the heck are you doing to your windows when you think you can get AIDS from licking one?

DO NOT compare Harry Potter and Twilight. NO. Harry>Twilight.

Azellia 15

Not all teenage girls are stupid enough to like twilight

zendaddy0 0

A fourteen year old girl and a six year old girl are fighting the fourteen year old says "santa isn't real" the six year old says "well neither is edward culled" who ran to their room crying first?

YDI for being a twilight oppressed freak.

some people just need to be punched in the face. you are among them.

Mabe we can convince her its something Edward would do and she'd let us beat her to death.

I'm fairly sure it is something he'd let happen to her, at the least.

jace913 0

lmao I agree. fuc*ing creep

Twilight fans are certainly not the smartest creatures on earth...

Hey, at least she can spell and use basic grammar - which is more than I can say for most die-hard Twilight fans.

greenltrn2003 0

I couldnt agree more...I wish I could hit YDI 1,000 times. If Stephenie Meyers plan was to brain wash all these teenage girls, she suceeded. I would say I hope world domination isnt next on her list but I dont think the cult members following twilight have the cranial compentancy to accomplish such a feat. I do... thats a warning. take cover. you are no longer safe.

"Why is Edward Cullen so pale? Because there's no sunlight in the closet."

eMo_gurll200 0

you have made my day. thank you very much

rttr 18

J k Rowling told a better love story in one chapter Then Stephen mayers did in 4 books.

Just put the guy who plays Edward in a city then nuke it end of story.

fancypantsninja 0

Hey dont be mean to OP because she's a twilight fan (twilight is okay but the fans take it too far to where other people dont like it anymore)

ReportAbuse 0

This is the internet, sweetie. We can be as mean as we want to. You can't do a damn thing about it. :)

I don't think it's the fans... It's the haters. I mean, they bring up Twilight waaaaaaaaay more often. As it's usually the case.

koolkat27 13

393- Trust me, it's the fans. You creatures ruin everything with your twilight crap in every store, and its incredibly pathetic how most of the fans have nothing better to do than obsess over some poorly written and acted series.

Damn, don't ya think there's a limit of being a fan of something? When I see these, I always think that the human race could not be worse.... and sadly, I'm always proven wrong.

Prepare to lose more faith in humanity. One word: CULLENISM. Google it.

I googled it. I'm going to go throw myself off the highest cliff I can find now.

fancypantsninja 0

I googled it too... THIS IS HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!! how come we didnt see this happening before

Yup..googled it. I have officially lost all faith in humanity.

I googled it also. They ended something with Peace,Love,and Twilight!. This has provided me with more reason to stay Athiest.

hahaha.. The chick says that they are NOT a religion, and right beside that there is a picture of a badge saying 'TWILGHT- my new religion'.. hahaha.. God, these people are entertaining.. They're like hamsters in a maze.. Go find that sparkly cheese, hamster..

LOL I googled it. It made me giggle. I do like Twilight but sometimes people take it to far. I do NOT believe in cullenism but all these haters bring the subject up more and make a bigger fuss out of it, i mean cmon let the girls like whatever they want and oppose it IN YOUR MIND. It stops 90% of arguments. So just both Twilight fans and Twilight haters just lay it on a little thinner.

I am so sick of all this Twilight crud. Get over yourselves people.

"to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like" … I stopped reading there. You deserve whatever bad things that happen to you

P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C F-A-I-L. I'm really sorry but you deserve this... :[

That's beyond pathetic. You know those books are written for 12 year old girls who have cavernous emotional voids, right?

well, the O.P is probably 12 if she's dumb enough to kiss an iced over window. To see what it would be like to kiss a fictional vampire. I'll never understand teenage girls..

Please do not tar all teenage girls with this brush. I certainly was never like this and am pretty sure a lot of others weren't either. One girl =/= all teenage girls.

I'd say it's pretty fair to tar all with the same general mentality, it's all part of the developmental process, as much as some would like to protest and profess themselves as having been more 'mature'.

JessAngelus 0

I disagree. Sure it's part of the developmental process but not all teenage girls are THIS BAD. I take offense. I've never kissed a frozen window, simply because I have an IQ higher than 20. (Clearly unlike the OP). =D

You deserve it for three main reasons: 1. For liking Twilight to begin with (I think that it is the most stupid thing to hit the big screen since Arnold Schwarzenegger and Chuch Norris) 2. For being so completely obsessed over a fictional vampire. 3. And for fantasizing over Edward Cullen - that is just wrong in so many ways.

I agree...YDI for trying to re-enact (don't know if that's how it's spelt) kissing a fictional character...

@ 10: It's not even a vampire. Those things have no fear of garlic or the cross and aren't harmed/killed by sunlight.. Of all things, they sparkle. You're being way too nice by calling them vampires. Parasites Is a more appropriate term.

That just made my day. Twilight is the bane of modern pop culture. I've been a vampire fan since I was eight, and now all of these Twitards are ruining it. I'll just go and watch Buffy or Nosferatu and read the original vampire novel: Dracula.

actually it is a vampire, its just not what the media has been calling vampires for the past however many years and since they are FICTIONAL, stephanie meyer can give them whatever characteristics she wants to

vampire (noun) —(folklore) a corpse that rises at night to drink the blood of the living The term parasite is often applied to a person who takes advantage of other people and fails to offer anything in return. Edward Cullen goes to school Edward Cullen drinks no blood Edward Cullen sleeps at night(With girls hundreds of years younger than him) Edward Cullen ALMOST died, thus not being a corpse, but still a living being Edward Cullen does not give anything to us in return for all his fans but an empty void that nobody will be perfect enough to fill, thus ruining their lives So we can all conclude, that Edward Cullen, as defined by the dictionary, IS NOT a vampire, but is indeed, a parasite

dravthorn6669 0

@179: just for the record: - Edward Cullen DOES drink blood (the family just tries to avoid drinking human blood, although they have in the past) - Edward Cullen DOES NOT sleep at night, his human girlfriend does - Edward Cullen did not almost die. He was almost "killed" in the same way a zombie or any other non-living creature can be "killed" and therefore no longer exist, even though they aren't technically alive in the first place. there are plenty of things to make fun of Twilight for, at least get your facts straight when you're doing it

One definition does not a vampire make. That term is based on popular culture- cinema and reading and such. Vampires are much more complicated than that, and started out very differently in ancient folklore. All of the traits contributed to vampirism are added or subtracted by /someone/- it doesn't make them less a vampire, just because they don't fit the Dracula stereotype. However, yeah, calling the Cullens vampires is fairly insulting... gag@them.

okay, I know how it all started, there was a man named Count Vlad Dracoyla (a real man), also known as Vlad the Impaler. Cause he liked to stap things. Particularly humans. Dracoyla would stab and kill anybody who got on his nerves a little. His wife showered in the blood of his tortured prisoners, thinking it would restore her youth, which is what inspired an author to have "Dracula" drink blood to stay healthy, and the biting part was pretty much out of his imagination. However, Dracoyla was put in prison by his people, and even in prison he would stab bugs with small twigs he could find around his cell. Whenever there was a war, they would release him and let him lead the battle. It was recorded that he would break a branch off a tree and impale his victims on the small stump he left. I think he was also the person who started putting heads on pikes, I'm not sure, I just know he had a lot. Enough that the only friend he had suggested that he took some of the heads around his castle down. Dracoyla didn't like that, so he cut his friend's head off and put it on a really tall pike, "so his head would be above the smell". When Dracoyla died, they buried him in a coffin, and when later archeologists opened up his grave, it was empty, thus the raising from the dead part. The author I mentioned, don't remember who, and I don't want to look it up, visited the country Dracoyla lived in, and was inspired to write the book "Dracula". Count Vlad Dracoyla was the first vampire, and thus set the standards of vampires to be murderous, blood-sucking, undead creatures that would raise from the dead. "Pop-culture" didn't define it, history defined it, and my previous comment did a pretty good job at defining it. Besides, my comment was a joke, I haven't seen the movie or read the books, I just based it off what I have heard and read about it. And for common sense's sake, being "almost killed" is absolutely no different than "almost dying", and yeah, undead things can die, but from what I have seen of the movie (didn't watch the whole thing, I started though) Edward Cullen DID NOT die, he was turned into a vampire so he WOULDN'T DIE, correct me if I'm wrong though, but I don't care either way, my point is he was never dead, so he couldn't have been UNdead, because to be made undead, you had to die in the first place, which never happened to Edward.

iFizzgig 11

farhil, I'm so glad that someone knows their history

dragonstrike94 8

False farhil how dare you combine Dracula anti Dracula propaganda and Elizabeth bathory lore.... She was not his wife nor did Vladimir tepes dracula's wife do that. She was pretty normal. He wasn't "that" crazy he did most of what he did to scare the Turks he was a hero and Elizabeth bathory was a homicidal German countess who bathed in virgin blood and drank virgin blood to stay young.

dragonstrike94 8

Also vampire lore depicted them as being such well before BRAM STOKER used Vladimir "son of the dragon/devil"(Dracula) Tepes. GOOD DAY SIR

dragonstrike94 8

Also Vladimir would impale his enemies on stakes on the war borders with the Turks ... Although he did fancy turk blood

JAB2014 1

If you read the books.. It takes three days for "vampires" to turn once bitten. And the human is suppose to die within that time period. And vampires are basically dead people biting and drinking blood. Vampires are considered parasites though. ALL vampires are, including Dracula... So I have no idea what your problem is, but seriously grow up. It's just an FML. No need to get all serious about it. Just read, laugh to yourself, and move on. I don't like how much twilight fans drool over sparkling men either, but I'm not going to cry about it. But maybe you should read and/or watch the movies before you judge. Nobody is going to discriminate you for it.

JAB2014 1

It is also against the commenting policy to post hateful things, if anybody read it. So please stop saying stupid things about twilight.