By IB6UB9 - 28/11/2009 17:32 - United States

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML
I agree, your life sucks 66 154
You deserved it 6 974

Same thing different taste

Top comments


One more post about Edward Cullen and I will gouge my eyes out with the nearest blunt object!! OMGSTFU!

Same. I can feel my soul leaking out of my ******* ears.

wiserman 0

normally i don't advocate spousal abuse. but since she struck first...

totalbadass 0

I would expect a visit from chris hansen soon... "why don't you have a seat over there?"

Do you have a child bride? If not tell her to grow up.

kniferomance 0

I think a divorce is in order. YDI, though, for having an immature wife.

I have no idea what to say to this. I didn't know that people could be this sad and desperate. Dump your wife right now. In a woodchipper would be the best way.

time to play another round of smack a' bitch...

Reyo 2

"Honey" "Yes dear?" "I think we need a divorece" "Why?" "Well you see...when I married you, I married a confident, independant woman...not an agnsty, prepubescent girl."

Oh no. Not another Twilight-related FML! FYL.

They like Twilight. Do they have to act on it?

That is far beyond not being funny. It's never ok to even joke about spousal abuse. Have you ever been through it or seen someone go through it? I'm sure you haven't b/c you're making light of it. I don't care if you're trying to be funny; you and everyone else needs to learn that it's not funny...ever

SkinnyWALLrus 0

calm down it was a joke and i know someone who has gone through that and jokes about it now... you either laugh or cry about things that happen to you in life.

SillyPoop 0

This causes grounds for leaving her....disgusting! I wouldn't be suprised to hear if the divorce rate in America has gone up over this Edward Jacob Team thing...not suprised at all! leave it to AMERICA!

do me a favor an punch your wife in the face for me

LOLZ.that is the funniest thing old is ur wife, 10?

Tubes 4

Thumbs down at lack of humor. Everything can be funny, even spousal abuse.

haha..thats kind of cute whenever im wering lip gloss with glitter, i kiss my bf all over his face then i tell him "aww baby now u look like edward" and he looks at me all its hilarious

aftoner 0

at least we didn't end up with plain

263 Twilight is no where near Harry Potter. They are not comparable on the basis Twilight is indeed pointless and failed erotic fanbook.

MeasaV123 0

Do you even know what a socialist is 263?

Haha she must be a blonde...ohhh. But seriously u need to get some payback. Like bite her arm in a half-moon shape and tell her u wanted her to look like Bella.

We seriously need a Who Gives A Damn About Twilight feature on FML.

I also think Twilight needs its own category.

we need a section called "When twilight fans strike". Seriosly one more post about twilight and im finding the makers and popping 2 caps in their asses.


elfuin 0

Hey! 14 years aren't into Twilight. It's only awkward, prepubescent 12 year olds and creepy older woman who have a thing for young men

helpmeiamblind 0

Divorce her NOW! She's really just a 14 year old girl!

mrslikebryant 1

that's to funny,your wife is funny

ahaha that is funny.. but hey, i have heard of people doing waay worse things .. so be happy

Edward_is_ew 0

Haha, Edward is UGLY, it's all about Jacob, he's got a great body, Edward is white, like really white

And he has a ******' ZERO pack. WTF is it with all the "Ahhh! OMG! Team Edwardzzzzz rulezzzz!!" fags? Jake is HAWT. Anyone who is "Team Ed" probably hopes that Joe-******-Jonas will ask her to marry him one day.

I totally agree, jake's hot and like really sweet while edward's a total douche... I'm not a very big twilight-fan though xD My bf loves twilight and makes me see them all the time and made me read the books...then she gets pissed when I say I hate Edward xO

toasterlovin 0

god dammit. they're both **** erotic morons for 13 year old girls. stop talking about them, it's like worshipping hitler! well... no it's not, but it's still bad!

jkcmutch 0

that is sad. everyone who reads twilight takes it way too seriously! and i completely agree with #4

i read the twilight saga and nobody knows it but me and the person who sold it to me at the bookstore not ALL twilight fans are crazy but i have to agree that 99.9% of them are a pain in the ass about it and need to get a life