By IB6UB9 - United States
Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML
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  Reyo  |  2

"Yes dear?"
"I think we need a divorece"
"Well you see...when I married you, I married a confident, independant woman...not an agnsty, prepubescent girl."


That is far beyond not being funny. It's never ok to even joke about spousal abuse. Have you ever been through it or seen someone go through it? I'm sure you haven't b/c you're making light of it. I don't care if you're trying to be funny; you and everyone else needs to learn that it's not funny...ever

  SillyPoop  |  0

This causes grounds for leaving her....disgusting! I wouldn't be suprised to hear if the divorce rate in America has gone up over this Edward Jacob Team thing...not suprised at all! leave it to AMERICA!

  melissa_10  |  7

haha..thats kind of cute
whenever im wering lip gloss with glitter, i kiss my bf all over his face then i tell him
"aww baby now u look like edward" and he looks at me all
its hilarious

  ccc01  |  1

263 Twilight is no where near Harry Potter. They are not comparable on the basis Twilight is indeed pointless and failed erotic fanbook.

  oppawoppa  |  9

Haha she must be a blonde...ohhh. But seriously u need to get some payback. Like bite her arm in a half-moon shape and tell her u wanted her to look like Bella.

  Clitastrophe  |  0

And he has a fuckin' ZERO pack. WTF is it with all the "Ahhh! OMG! Team Edwardzzzzz rulezzzz!!" fags? Jake is HAWT. Anyone who is "Team Ed" probably hopes that Joe-faggot-Jonas will ask her to marry him one day.


I totally agree, jake's hot and like really sweet while edward's a total douche... I'm not a very big twilight-fan though xD
My bf loves twilight and makes me see them all the time and made me read the books...then she gets pissed when I say I hate Edward xO

  toasterlovin  |  0

god dammit. they're both homo erotic morons for 13 year old girls. stop talking about them, it's like worshipping hitler! well... no it's not, but it's still bad!

  chefky14  |  0

i read the twilight saga and nobody knows it but me and the person who sold it to me at the bookstore not ALL twilight fans are crazy but i have to agree that 99.9% of them are a pain in the ass about it and need to get a life