Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML
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By
aaaaa2p
| 0
Your wife sucks.
By
TheLoneWolf87
| 4
We seriously need a Who Gives A Damn About Twilight feature on FML.
COMMENTS
By
aaaaa2p
| 0
Your wife sucks.
Reply
alexandraa_fml
| 0
One more post about Edward Cullen and I will gouge my eyes out with the nearest blunt object!! OMGSTFU!
Reply
iKaite
| 0
Same. I can feel my soul leaking out of my fucking ears.
Reply
wiserman
| 0
normally i don't advocate spousal abuse. but since she struck first...
Reply
totalbadass
| 0
I would expect a visit from chris hansen soon... "why don't you have a seat over there?"
Reply
time4coffee
| 3
Do you have a child bride? If not tell her to grow up.
Reply
kniferomance
| 0
I think a divorce is in order. YDI, though, for having an immature wife.
Reply
crazytoaster
| 2
I have no idea what to say to this. I didn't know that people could be this sad and desperate. Dump your wife right now. In a woodchipper would be the best way.
Reply
brutallyhonest24
| 0
time to play another round of smack a' bitch...
Reply
Reyo
| 2
"Honey"
"Yes dear?"
"I think we need a divorece"
"Why?"
"Well you see...when I married you, I married a confident, independant woman...not an agnsty, prepubescent girl."
"Yes dear?"
"I think we need a divorece"
"Why?"
"Well you see...when I married you, I married a confident, independant woman...not an agnsty, prepubescent girl."
Reply
zzalex92
| 0
Oh no. Not another Twilight-related FML! FYL.
Reply
BeautifulColours
| 0
They like Twilight. Do they have to act on it?
Reply
settingjunefree
| 0
That is far beyond not being funny. It's never ok to even joke about spousal abuse. Have you ever been through it or seen someone go through it? I'm sure you haven't b/c you're making light of it. I don't care if you're trying to be funny; you and everyone else needs to learn that it's not funny...ever
Reply
ru55uz
| 0
YES!!
Reply
SkinnyWALLrus
| 0
calm down it was a joke and i know someone who has gone through that and jokes about it now... you either laugh or cry about things that happen to you in life.
Reply
SillyPoop
| 0
This causes grounds for leaving her....disgusting! I wouldn't be suprised to hear if the divorce rate in America has gone up over this Edward Jacob Team thing...not suprised at all! leave it to AMERICA!
Reply
Timeline
| 0
do me a favor an punch your wife in the face for me
Reply
splatz16
| 0
LOLZ.that is the funniest thing ever...but...how old is ur wife, 10?
Reply
Tubes
| 4
Thumbs down at lack of humor. Everything can be funny, even spousal abuse.
Reply
Miss_Represented
| 0
I am speechless... In a bad way.
Reply
melissa_10
| 7
haha..thats kind of cute
whenever im wering lip gloss with glitter, i kiss my bf all over his face then i tell him
"aww baby now u look like edward" and he looks at me all crazy..lol
its hilarious
whenever im wering lip gloss with glitter, i kiss my bf all over his face then i tell him
"aww baby now u look like edward" and he looks at me all crazy..lol
its hilarious
Reply
aftoner
| 0
at least we didn't end up with plain
Reply
ccc01
| 1
263 Twilight is no where near Harry Potter. They are not comparable on the basis Twilight is indeed pointless and failed erotic fanbook.
Reply
MeasaV123
| 0
Do you even know what a socialist is 263?
Reply
oppawoppa
| 9
Haha she must be a blonde...ohhh. But seriously u need to get some payback. Like bite her arm in a half-moon shape and tell her u wanted her to look like Bella.
Reply
ShortRound_babie
| 0
I feel so bad for you :/
By
mohameddiop309
| 0
fyl
Reply
White667
| 0
Fairly sure everyone agrees, FYL.
By
tearsofabrokenan
| 0
Lol FYL
Reply
Xyphonic
| 0
Every single comment can be summed up in those 6 letters.
Well done.
Well done.
By
TheLoneWolf87
| 4
We seriously need a Who Gives A Damn About Twilight feature on FML.
Reply
fatherpunk
| 1
I also think Twilight needs its own category.
Reply
Bansheethekilla
| 2
we need a section called "When twilight fans strike". Seriosly one more post about twilight and im finding the makers and popping 2 caps in their asses.
Reply
peacelovepugs
| 7
Team Edward!!!
By
iamazombie
| 0
THAT IS CREEPY IS YOUR WIFE A 14 YR OLD??? XD
Reply
elfuin
| 0
Hey! 14 years aren't into Twilight. It's only awkward, prepubescent 12 year olds and creepy older woman who have a thing for young men
By
helpmeiamblind
| 0
Divorce her NOW! She's really just a 14 year old girl!
By
mrslikebryant
| 1
that's to funny,your wife is funny
By
orangebunny
| 2
ahaha that is funny.. but hey, i have heard of people doing waay worse things .. so be happy
By
Edward_is_ew
| 0
Haha, Edward is UGLY, it's all about Jacob, he's got a great body, Edward is white, like really white
Reply
Clitastrophe
| 0
And he has a fuckin' ZERO pack. WTF is it with all the "Ahhh! OMG! Team Edwardzzzzz rulezzzz!!" fags? Jake is HAWT. Anyone who is "Team Ed" probably hopes that Joe-faggot-Jonas will ask her to marry him one day.
Reply
CaptenAwesomeXD
| 0
I totally agree, jake's hot and like really sweet while edward's a total douche... I'm not a very big twilight-fan though xD
My bf loves twilight and makes me see them all the time and made me read the books...then she gets pissed when I say I hate Edward xO
My bf loves twilight and makes me see them all the time and made me read the books...then she gets pissed when I say I hate Edward xO
Reply
mannequiin
| 0
They're all fairies.
Reply
mAdmAn948
| 0
wow...fyl.
Reply
toasterlovin
| 0
god dammit. they're both homo erotic morons for 13 year old girls. stop talking about them, it's like worshipping hitler! well... no it's not, but it's still bad!
By
jkcmutch
| 0
that is sad. everyone who reads twilight takes it way too seriously! and i completely agree with #4
Reply
chefky14
| 0
i read the twilight saga and nobody knows it but me and the person who sold it to me at the bookstore not ALL twilight fans are crazy but i have to agree that 99.9% of them are a pain in the ass about it and need to get a life