By Crawlinginmymemes - United States - Danvers Today, I accidentally shut the door on someone who was walking behind me. After he opened the door, I turned, looked him sincerely in the eye and said, "Suffering". I meant to say sorry. FML I agree, your life sucks 9885 You deserved it 1962 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anon - United States - Gilroy Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML I agree, your life sucks 34134 You deserved it 3122 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML I agree, your life sucks 81500 You deserved it 8477 505 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By laundryduty Today, I was doing laundry at work. I work at a spay/neuter clinic and was about to throw in a load of towels when I noticed something in the washer. It looked like one of the detergent packets we use. It was a testicle. FML I agree, your life sucks 1875 You deserved it 166 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Bend Today, I had a feminine emergency. After scrounging up 4 quarters to use the machine in the women's bathroom, it dispensed a diaper. FML I agree, your life sucks 8259 You deserved it 739 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Karenfast17 - 3/3/2021 14:58 - Hong Kong - Kowloon Are you experienced? Today, I have to write my resume, and my teacher asked me about my secondary school activities. I'd never joined in any activities at that time, did no work experience, no volunteer work, except for two activities that I did in an institution centre this year. This all means I'm good at NOTHING. FML I agree, your life sucks 531 You deserved it 265 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I woke up cold. The guy I had sex with last night stole my blanket. He also took everything out of my freezer, and all of my soap, shampoo, and conditioner. The number he left me was for a pizza place. FML I agree, your life sucks 17251 You deserved it 34895 180 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By iluvcoconutrough - New Zealand Today, at school I was sitting with a friend outside, talking about irregular periods and unshaven legs. Ten minutes into the conversation, a teacher sticks her head out the window above us and tells us to leave. We were distracting a classroom who were trying to finish a test. FML I agree, your life sucks 38894 You deserved it 22338 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Yorktown Heights Today, after working like a caffeine-fuelled thunderstorm for 9 hours straight on an art project, my 2 friends informed me that it was due next week. I slept for 10 hours, and then went to my class without my project, thinking I lucked out in the long run. Clearly not, as it was due today. FML I agree, your life sucks 22020 You deserved it 3980 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Westerose Today I started a new job, I found out that my employer doesn't follow the labour laws and my new co-workers are planning on reporting the owner of the company. The owner is my father, and I want to help them report him. FML I agree, your life sucks 7016 You deserved it 781 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML I agree, your life sucks 26239 You deserved it 4577 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By brsoxgirl - United States Today, I learned why my boyfriend of 10 months and I never hang out at his place. He still lives at home with his mother. He's 38. FML I agree, your life sucks 33701 You deserved it 5849 176 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pizzafaceinc - United States Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML I agree, your life sucks 26654 You deserved it 3024 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ryan - United States Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 24307 You deserved it 6766 188 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dont_shit_where_i_eat Today, during the few free minutes I had while rushing between meetings, I grabbed a plain slice of pizza to go. I stepped outside, ready to eat and walk, when a friendly pigeon flew overhead and added a "free topping" to my slice. FML I agree, your life sucks 3657 You deserved it 255 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By harrypottermuch - Canada Today, I found out there's a Harry Potter club at my school. My boyfriend is in it. FML I agree, your life sucks 17300 You deserved it 42968 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I was at the park with a friend when I said "Gotta go, sorry. I've got court in an hour." The lady on the bench next to us then loudly complained how disgusting I was for being a criminal and threw her bird seed at me, dirtying my suit. I'm a lawyer with a case in an hour, not a criminal. FML I agree, your life sucks 55092 You deserved it 3850 190 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/7/2020 17:01 Seagull on wheels Today, I found out the hard way what it feels like to have a seagull poo on your face while cycling. FML I agree, your life sucks 1336 You deserved it 125 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By oh, good - United Kingdom - Bath Poor Mickey Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 1509 You deserved it 222 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mainlineloser - United States - Narberth Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML I agree, your life sucks 32353 You deserved it 3324 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yum. - United States Today, I went out to eat with some friends. They picked a table that wasn't big enough for all of us. I had to sit in the booth behind them. Alone. FML I agree, your life sucks 75254 You deserved it 4722 165 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By imcold - United States Today, a stranger was kind enough to plow my driveway during a blizzard. However, they were not kind enough to leave their number after plowing the front end of my car. FML I agree, your life sucks 31767 You deserved it 2765 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Uwrongfodat - United States - Denton Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML I agree, your life sucks 61681 You deserved it 4257 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Veronica Rambo Today, it was my first day going to work with new hours where I'm in the office alone for an hour. I managed to lock myself out without my jacket, my phone, and my keys. It was raining. FML I agree, your life sucks 2354 You deserved it 681 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jenievonteese - United States Today, I was having a nice dream in which a beautiful butterfly flew by me and got stuck in my hair, fluttering its wings against my neck. Then I woke up and realized the "butterfly" stuck in my hair was actually a giant wood roach. FML I agree, your life sucks 44687 You deserved it 3235 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By phoenixditch - United States - Burke Today, I was ditched by the guy I flew over two thousand miles to see. His excuse? "I'm just tired. I want to go home and sleep" Later, he checked in at a bar right down the street from the hotel on Facebook. FML I agree, your life sucks 45783 You deserved it 5600 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lostandconfused Today, I was teaching a class of 17-year-old Japanese boys English. Tripping over a school bag, I caught my foot in the bottom of my very loose elastic trousers. I pulled them down with my foot as I stumbled, exposing my underwear to all 40 students. FML I agree, your life sucks 1639 You deserved it 245 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By runescapeftw - United States Today, the police called and told me that they had Alex in custody. Apparently, she had public sex with another woman and wants me to come bail her out. Alex is my mom. FML I agree, your life sucks 31408 You deserved it 2657 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ineedlotsofwater - United States - Seattle Today, I found out why I receive random drug tests at work. The safety department was specifically told by my boss to check up on me because I always seem way too cheerful to not be high. I've passed every single test. FML I agree, your life sucks 33604 You deserved it 2711 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By imahater07 Today, my family decided to break tradition and wake up at midnight to open presents. I didn't find out until I went downstairs to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, and found wrapping paper and empty boxes everywhere. FML I agree, your life sucks 24141 You deserved it 1681 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jessie - United States Today, I got stuck listening to my coworker bang on about how sexy her fiancé is for almost an hour. She told me about their sex life, described his dick in great detail, and showed me pictures of him shirtless. My coworker is 49; her fiancé is 56 and overweight. FML I agree, your life sucks 46568 You deserved it 4619 245 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, after driving a few hours late at night I decided to entertain the car tailgating me by not letting him pass. After doing this for 3miles, reaching 93MPH, I decided to let the car pass me. When I switched lanes, the car tailgating me light up in red and blue. It was a cop. FML I agree, your life sucks 12158 You deserved it 96940 179 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bezoar10 - United States Today, my mother and I went to lunch and there is a really cute waiter that works at the diner. I requested him to wait on us like I sometimes do. While we were waiting to be seated, I heard one waiter say to the cute one, "Ya, the creepy one is back, and this time she brought her mom!" FML I agree, your life sucks 21801 You deserved it 70144 143 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By spaceforrent - United States Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML I agree, your life sucks 23265 You deserved it 2993 120 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By workerbee - United States Today, I was on a conference call in my office with the door closed. I let out some loud farts and felt liberated. Forgot my phone was NOT on mute. There were only 3 people on the conference call - including me. FML I agree, your life sucks 7140 You deserved it 22388 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Samantha - United States - Holt Today, while I was taking my driver's test, my instructor received a text message. He promptly had a panic attack and screamed for me to pull over. It turned out his wife wanted a divorce. The last 15 minutes of my test consisted of him sobbing to himself as I drove back to the DMV. FML I agree, your life sucks 31740 You deserved it 2008 176 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Afroman720 - United States Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML I agree, your life sucks 27664 You deserved it 2867 135 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shyshy96679 - United States Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML I agree, your life sucks 45997 You deserved it 3858 190 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jlee0000785 - Australia Today, the guy I have been seeing left town to visit his family for three weeks. A few hours later, he called me from the airport to say he is never coming back. FML I agree, your life sucks 27962 You deserved it 2191 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By me - United States - Richmond Today, I realized the only "person" I have talked to in the last two days is Siri. FML I agree, your life sucks 40306 You deserved it 8501 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - New Zealand - Auckland Today, while at a psychiatric hospital working as a student nurse, I discovered one of the patients had developed an unhealthy obsession for me. He was admitted for stalking and abusing a girl who looked just like me. It's only my first week. FML I agree, your life sucks 28344 You deserved it 1884 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Xelabasat | 14 #6704894 - Saturday 22 October 2016 10:10 I hate it when this happens, you bump into someone on the street and accidentally say "existiental agony" Send a private message 208 0 Reply
By SauceySarah | 30 #6704898 - Saturday 22 October 2016 10:14 That's so goth. Send a private message 114 1 Reply
By Xelabasat | 14 #6704894 - Saturday 22 October 2016 10:10 I hate it when this happens, you bump into someone on the street and accidentally say "existiental agony" Send a private message 208 0 Reply
Reply _EnderDoge | 22 #6704966 - Saturday 22 October 2016 17:26 One of the funnier comments I've seen. Send a private message 6 1 Reply
By SauceySarah | 30 #6704898 - Saturday 22 October 2016 10:14 That's so goth. Send a private message 114 1 Reply
By ghetto_child | 19 #6704899 - Saturday 22 October 2016 10:27 None of this would've happened if you were Canadian Send a private message 32 0 Reply
Reply extrasnipes | 22 #6704920 - Saturday 22 October 2016 13:04 Sorry for butting but it's true. Sorry. Did I say I was sorry? Send a private message 4 8 Reply
Reply demix_fml | 32 #6704901 - Saturday 22 October 2016 10:43 This was meant to be a laughing face ...... OP I'm sure the person will forgive you. Send a private message 4 12 Reply
Reply Dilexar | 26 #6704916 - Saturday 22 October 2016 12:53 I too have figured out FML is not emoji friendly XD Send a private message 6 11 Reply
By RichardPencil | 29 #6704908 - Saturday 22 October 2016 11:26 Your rudeness would probably pass for normal in Boston. It wouldn't surprise me if the guy said, "What are you, wicked re-tahd-ed? Pissah!" Send a private message 5 11 Reply
By LyricaSilvan | 29 #6704914 - Saturday 22 October 2016 12:15 On the bright side, now he probably thinks you're hardcore. Or that you're crazy. Either way, he's less likely to try and mess with you. Send a private message 33 1 Reply
By Lalala579121 | 27 #6704915 - Saturday 22 October 2016 12:51 I hope you gave him an evil death glare while you said it. Then maybe got some flame jets around you for effect. Send a private message 7 9 Reply
By graphicstyle7 | 17 #6704938 - Saturday 22 October 2016 14:51 I know you were embarrassed, but part of me thinks that was awesome. Send a private message 16 0 Reply
By stryder9090 | 28 #6704940 - Saturday 22 October 2016 15:02 Sufferin' succotash Send a private message 6 1 Reply
By kctrl | 8 #6704982 - Saturday 22 October 2016 18:37 I'm crying, this is so funny Send a private message 5 0 Reply
Today, I went back home after a break with my live-in boyfriend. I had to spend some time at my distant father's place in another city until we talked... I agree, your life sucks 205 You deserved it 41 4 Comments
Today, I had the most action in months when I woke up to a wet dream. I'm married, I guess that tells you all about my sex life. FML I agree, your life sucks 262 You deserved it 27 3 Comments