Today, I meowed at my cat and he got really close to me. I then meowed again and he punched me in the face. Them's fightin' words, it seems. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was laying with my face dangling down the side of my bed, when my kitten rushed up to me looking worried. He sniffed me for a while, then decided the best thing to do was to stand on his hind legs and start punching my face like a speed bag. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Today, my cats started fighting again. Normally, I let them, because it's the only exercise they get. But this time one of my cats sliced the other's nose, and he responded by pinning her and nearly choking her to death. When I ran in to stop them, they teamed up against me. Ah, somethin' don't feel too good… FML
Today, I disciplined my cat for meowing too loudly in my apartment and disturbing neighbors by picking her up by the scruff. She then proceeded to scratch the ever living crap out of my hand, now it looks like Wolverine got a hold of me. FML
Today, I farted so loud that my cat thought that I was growling at him, and bit me in self-defense. FML
Today, my cat was incessantly meowing trying to get me to wake up and feed him. Because it was 6 a.m., and I'd hardly slept at all last night, my brain decided that the best solution to get him to shut up would be to hug him. The result was a normally docile and lazy cat giving me a nasty scratch next to my left eye. FML
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML
Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML
Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML
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Top comments
Yudith 28
You're lucky he thought this was a boxing match and did now show his claws. Next time, purr at him instead.
Papercrane 6
How does a cat punch?
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Comments (2)
Yudith 28
You're lucky he thought this was a boxing match and did now show his claws. Next time, purr at him instead.
Papercrane 6
How does a cat punch?