Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML
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Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML
Today, I'm stuck in bed with a fever, aches, and nasty cough. My kids and husband had it too, and kept coughing without covering their mouths, despite my asking several times so I wouldn't get sick. FML
Today, I had a horrible case of the flu. I have a fever of 102 degrees and I can't breathe through my nose. Choosing to sleep it off turns out to be enough for my mom to call me a lazy fuck and scream at me for doing nothing all day. FML
Today, my teenage son caught COVID and has passed it on to me. He's completely unaffected, and joking that he wants to catch it again, to get another week off school. I'm lying in bed, with a pounding headache, shivering so violently I'm shaking. FML
Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML
Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML
Today, my adult son is visiting, sick on my couch with influenza A. He's spent all week screaming about how anti vaxxers are stupid, but admits that he didn't get a flu shot because, "they don't work." I got my flu shot and still got sick because I'm immunocompromised. He fails to see the irony. FML
Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
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Top comments
MateRicks 18
Smart kid.
Zeishah 26
Such a creepy sight to wake upto:|
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Comments (128)
ilovetraveler 17
Didn't you get a flu shot?
glabberfasted 16
The flu shot takes about 2 weeks to build up an immunity in your system, you can still get the flu in that time. This is why so many idiots think the shots give them the flu.
caysters 12
Beats the girl in my class in high school who kept trying to get this one guy to cough on her because he had mono and she wanted mono too. Who ended up with mono? Me. The one sitting in front of them... Lol. Yeah, that was awesome...
blackonblight 32
If she wanted his mono that bad, they call it the kissing disease for a reason, why didn't she just pucker up?
Meld86 12
Feel better OP
redwing_fml 1
so creepy
DildoFaggins 5
'Atta boy.
toxic_walrus 15
I'm trying to understand why he would actually WANT the flu. Being sick is the worst, I'd rather deal with school for the day.
nancy_ydg17 11
that can cause a bacterial infection in his lungs because he is breathing in your germs etc. it can cause pneumonia. if he does get sick take him to the doctor asap
Capt_Air713 13
Idiot son.
YoZesto 7
You said "he's 15" liek it's a bad thing. If he was like 31, then we'd have a problem.
dangermouse2990 19
Ferris bueller you're my hero!:)