Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML
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Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML
Today, I'm stuck in bed with a fever, aches, and nasty cough. My kids and husband had it too, and kept coughing without covering their mouths, despite my asking several times so I wouldn't get sick. FML
Today, I had a horrible case of the flu. I have a fever of 102 degrees and I can't breathe through my nose. Choosing to sleep it off turns out to be enough for my mom to call me a lazy fuck and scream at me for doing nothing all day. FML
Today, my teenage son caught COVID and has passed it on to me. He's completely unaffected, and joking that he wants to catch it again, to get another week off school. I'm lying in bed, with a pounding headache, shivering so violently I'm shaking. FML
Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML
Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML
Today, my adult son is visiting, sick on my couch with influenza A. He's spent all week screaming about how anti vaxxers are stupid, but admits that he didn't get a flu shot because, "they don't work." I got my flu shot and still got sick because I'm immunocompromised. He fails to see the irony. FML
Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
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Top comments
MateRicks 18
Smart kid.
Zeishah 26
Such a creepy sight to wake upto:|
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Comments (128)
ArianaLuvU 14
I wouldve done the same thing
DanielleinDC 33
Your kid needs to learn some boundaries. Unless you're helping care for your sick parents, you just don't go into their room and stand over them while they sleep. Hope you feel better soon, OP.
outoftown 26
Why is this getting voted down? 58 is right.
stupidbox 9
you should eat a raw potato.Just sayin'.
skittyskatbrat 19
If this flu wasn't so nasty, I'd say let him catch it. He'd deserve it! But if he DOES get it, make sure to get all his work from his teachers and make sure he does it :D
thepanakuukanap 3
Thats hilarious
Curlytwirly22 17
It's okay sometimes teens pretend to be sick just so they can take a break from all the bullsh*t in school these days
Amadog19 10
So sorry that you're sick OP, im just getting over the flu myself. If he does indeed get sick, take away his laptop, phone, TV privileges, game console, etc. And tell him he needs to be resting so he can feel better. ;) Also, get his home work from his teachers and make him do it that day. Feel better soon OP!
Dumb_dude 35
Yep for the first few days he won't feel like doing anything (other than regretting his decision to get sick). But then make sure he does not enjoy his convalescence.
toribabe101 9
I'm the same age and I would totally do that to get out of school. Actually, I have!!! Aha
nannyRayRay 14
I feel like this would have been a little more funny and kinda cute..if your child was between the age of 2 and 5
Dumb_dude 35
I feel doubly sorry for the OP. If her son does get it she will have to deal with a teenager with possibly a 'man flu' as well as recovering herself. If he does get it OP, lock his door and put him on a diet of pizza and pancakes - what ever you can slip under the door.