Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML
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Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML
Today, I'm stuck in bed with a fever, aches, and nasty cough. My kids and husband had it too, and kept coughing without covering their mouths, despite my asking several times so I wouldn't get sick. FML
Today, I had a horrible case of the flu. I have a fever of 102 degrees and I can't breathe through my nose. Choosing to sleep it off turns out to be enough for my mom to call me a lazy fuck and scream at me for doing nothing all day. FML
Today, my teenage son caught COVID and has passed it on to me. He's completely unaffected, and joking that he wants to catch it again, to get another week off school. I'm lying in bed, with a pounding headache, shivering so violently I'm shaking. FML
Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML
Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML
Today, my adult son is visiting, sick on my couch with influenza A. He's spent all week screaming about how anti vaxxers are stupid, but admits that he didn't get a flu shot because, "they don't work." I got my flu shot and still got sick because I'm immunocompromised. He fails to see the irony. FML
Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
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Top comments
MateRicks 18
Smart kid.
Zeishah 26
Such a creepy sight to wake upto:|
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Comments (128)
ForeverHoosier 9
I'm the same age and I'll still drink after sick family members xD yeah I hate school...
nhormuss 17
Come on, we've all done it!
sporteeholmes01 15
I haven't..... Not ever
PenguinBitch 43
You're not seeing the BIG PICTURE OP. In the long-run, he'll be immune to that flu. Sure they mutate and all but it's one less..
TheComedyAudio 29
Tell him to drink vanilla extract
ksks1234 33
You want op to get her son drunk and vomiting? What does that have to do with having the flu?
ilovemsminaj 13
Have you been to high school? I can't blame him
Km1490 20
the kid is very "bright"
FracturedMinds 21
Random quotation marks "show" a "lack" of understanding as to "what" they mean.
CrazyMelvin 14
Smart and stupid kid all at the same time. Make him go to school anyway. He'll be the boy who cried wolf if he keeps it up.
ksks1234 33
Op should obviously make him go today, but of he did contract the flu, hopefully op would keep him home. I hate when people insist their sick children go to school and make everyone else sick in the process.
beaverteaser 16
give that kid a helmet, and some crayons
FracturedMinds 21
You'd have to be a retard if you need a helmet to use crayons. Unless you are coloring the helmet of course.
ChibiChibi_fml 27
The implication of the statement/Joke (I think they thought it was funny). FracturedMind's head. I'm not saying it was a good joke but yeesh, it didn't need explaining in the immediate next post.
FracturedMinds 21
Didn't really explain it, I just made an equally shitty joke. And yeah, it was a shitty joke on my part.
weveallbeenthere 30
send him to school no matter what happens.
bugfroggy 16
She can't. It's against school policy, and maybe even the law. If he has a temperature, she has to pick him up from school.
imchacon22 19
A for effort lol at least he wouldn't have been faking like he was sick