Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML
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Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML
Today, I'm stuck in bed with a fever, aches, and nasty cough. My kids and husband had it too, and kept coughing without covering their mouths, despite my asking several times so I wouldn't get sick. FML
Today, I had a horrible case of the flu. I have a fever of 102 degrees and I can't breathe through my nose. Choosing to sleep it off turns out to be enough for my mom to call me a lazy fuck and scream at me for doing nothing all day. FML
Today, my teenage son caught COVID and has passed it on to me. He's completely unaffected, and joking that he wants to catch it again, to get another week off school. I'm lying in bed, with a pounding headache, shivering so violently I'm shaking. FML
Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML
Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML
Today, my adult son is visiting, sick on my couch with influenza A. He's spent all week screaming about how anti vaxxers are stupid, but admits that he didn't get a flu shot because, "they don't work." I got my flu shot and still got sick because I'm immunocompromised. He fails to see the irony. FML
Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
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Top comments
MateRicks 18
Smart kid.
Zeishah 26
Such a creepy sight to wake upto:|
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Comments (128)
blackonblight 32
An excuse to sleep all day instead of attending highschool, a known hell? Can't say I don't see where the kids coming from. Might be a bit skewed with the risk/reward ratio, but depending on how the social aspect of highschool is for him, it might seem worth it.
skyeyez9 24
I would choose school over having the flu. I had the flu once and it sucks. High fever, chills, muscle aches, nausea...no thanks.
blackonblight 32
At least with flu there's a limit to the nasty. You can only puke up so much, and the right meds knock you out and you sleep through most of it. I'll take flu over pneumonia any day. The year I spent a week out of school with it around Halloween, between the meds, fever, and 24 hour Scooby Doo marathon going on, I was hallucinating like mad.
elliotbarbiereid 6
It sounds like he can't afford to stay home from school.
Xotoolyxo 16
Time to have a talk with your son and explain how that's not the way to get sick
Inked0803 12
He could've taken the easy approach of just saying I'm not going or pretending to be sick
deletethedaleks 9
smart kid
PierceTheSirensq 10
That kid knows how to do it
12333danny 2
I like ur son
Defecately 18
You have to give it to him though, he's inventive!
Rababco 29
Um..I don't think you know how AIDS works.