Health: Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so... - FML

By blarghhhh - 28/02/2016 14:58 - United States - Owosso

Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 059

You deserved it 1 383

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Same thing different taste

By fuckmyassimcold - 14/12/2012 19:19 - United States

Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 975

You deserved it 79 369

By Anonymous - 16/03/2013 18:55 - United States - Escondido

Today, I have the flu. I had to wash the dishes, cook dinner, take out the trash, and take care of the laundry, all while my wife sat around watching TV, because she was "too tired". I work 8 hours a day. She's a college student. She doesn't see what's so unfair about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 389

You deserved it 8 229

Sick day

By *cough* *cough* you're a dickface - 27/06/2015 05:48 - United States - Mckeesport

Today, I have the flu, so I called my boss to let him know I couldn't come in today. He told me to think my "lies" through better, and claimed that you can only get the flu during winter. So I guess I'm faking my pale skin, short breath, runny nose, and constant sneezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 497

You deserved it 1 971

Caring

By Anonymous - 18/12/2020 23:58 - Antigua and Barbuda - Saint John's

Today, I woke up with a fever, headache and sore throat. All the symptoms of Covid-19. I told my husband, whose responded with, "Sack up and get over yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 202

By Anonymous - 22/06/2016 12:36 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I had a horrible case of the flu. I have a fever of 102 degrees and I can't breathe through my nose. Choosing to sleep it off turns out to be enough for my mom to call me a lazy fuck and scream at me for doing nothing all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 393

You deserved it 1 494

By Anonymous - 26/12/2012 04:56 - United States - Medina

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 628

You deserved it 3 785

Sick

By Anonymous - 01/07/2009 03:25 - Australia

Today, I was supposed to work with this girl I really like, but I had the flu really bad. I really really wanted to see her so I forced myself out of bed and went to work feeling terrible but determined to see her face. When I got to work I asked where she was. She had called in sick with the flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 144

You deserved it 17 935

By lk07 - 23/04/2019 12:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, I'm stuck in bed with a fever, aches, and nasty cough. My kids and husband had it too, and kept coughing without covering their mouths, despite my asking several times so I wouldn't get sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 060

You deserved it 396

By ZPyRoGoDz - 30/10/2009 06:25 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked why, she replied with "You don't go out anymore. All you do is lay in bed." I've had the flu for the past week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 472

You deserved it 2 564

By noworkformeplease - 09/03/2017 16:00

Today, I had to call out of work because I was ill, but they didn't believe me because today was the day I was supposed to come back from vacation. Now I'm stuck at work, constantly running to the bathroom, and they still won't let me go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 267

You deserved it 381

Next

Top comments

Candijpg 17

Monday 29 February 2016 7:35

date night in a bathroom

Setareh23 34

Monday 29 February 2016 8:05

Wow. Unless you have a habit of faking illnesses or cancelling dates for bogus reasons, it was kinda asshole-ish of him not to trust you. And even then, if you are crying and begging for the hospital, refusing is potentially putting your health at risk due to his own anger. I'm glad he is taking care of you now though...he better have apologized! Anyways, I hope your recovery goes smoothly. Appendicitis seriously sucks! xD

Comments

weird_adult 27

Monday 29 February 2016 7:32

Sounds like my comments suck

PotatoesAndCake 26

Monday 29 February 2016 11:22

Sounds like an over-used joke

Dale_shackleford 13

Monday 29 February 2016 13:56

Go back to ifunny number 1

Vagitarian4life 14

Monday 29 February 2016 7:33

Invite her into the restroom with you next time.

CheekyRaccoon 27

Monday 29 February 2016 8:24

Yeah, that's the spirit. Light some candles, throw down some rose petals and play some Kenny G, it'll be fully sick.

andrmac 25

Tuesday 1 March 2016 0:41

Caring means sharing.

Candijpg 17

Monday 29 February 2016 7:35

date night in a bathroom

KhaleesiDannie 26

Monday 29 February 2016 7:38

I'm sorry that happened OP you think she'd be more sympathetic something similar happened to me and my husband for our anniversary I hope you get better

Ashd09 30

Monday 29 February 2016 15:50

Punctuation. Use it please

KhaleesiDannie 26

Monday 29 February 2016 17:28

Nah don't care enough over the Internet to be happy I at least spell things correctly most of the time

herpderp1234 17

Monday 29 February 2016 7:40

It's that time of year...

Furcorn_57 17

Monday 29 February 2016 7:41

FYL, OP. I hate it when people think that you're faking it, although you probably aren't. I agree with everyone else, so far.

Furcorn_57 17

Monday 29 February 2016 7:46

Good luck, OP!

nightstalker94 18

Monday 29 February 2016 8:00

That's what I call a sticky situation

Setareh23 34

Monday 29 February 2016 8:05

Wow. Unless you have a habit of faking illnesses or cancelling dates for bogus reasons, it was kinda asshole-ish of him not to trust you. And even then, if you are crying and begging for the hospital, refusing is potentially putting your health at risk due to his own anger. I'm glad he is taking care of you now though...he better have apologized! Anyways, I hope your recovery goes smoothly. Appendicitis seriously sucks! xD

evanmurphy 14

Monday 29 February 2016 8:30

I like the taste of sweat.

HelloKiittyy 22

Monday 29 February 2016 8:30

Tell her you'll make it up to her! And try your best to make it very special

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The Top

Today, my college class has a strict rule that ANY absence, even if it's because you're sick and have a doctor's note, will drop your grade a letter grade. I have a chronic illness. Today is the second time in the first two weeks that I've had to show up to class with a bucket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 568

You deserved it 205

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 886

You deserved it 61 114

The Top

Today, I was hypnotized and talked into telling everyone truths about myself at a show my family and I went to. I don't know what I said. All I know is that my family laughs whenever I'm near them. They won't tell me what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 208

Today, my (now ex) best friend wore funeral attire to my wedding, and instead of a speech, she gave a eulogy, making it sound like my new husband had brutally murdered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 102

You deserved it 164

Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" In a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 000

You deserved it 51 208

Today, my brother's recent creepy behavior suddenly made sense when I found "How to seduce your sister?" in his browser search history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 611

You deserved it 2 069

Today, my dog ate my underwear. This is the twenty-seventh pair that he has eaten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 638

You deserved it 3 240

Today, after I continued repairs on the home of a hoarder family member, guess which one of us wasn't invited to the family dinner… FML

I agree, your life sucks 923

You deserved it 107