Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML
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Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML
Today, I'm stuck in bed with a fever, aches, and nasty cough. My kids and husband had it too, and kept coughing without covering their mouths, despite my asking several times so I wouldn't get sick. FML
Today, I had a horrible case of the flu. I have a fever of 102 degrees and I can't breathe through my nose. Choosing to sleep it off turns out to be enough for my mom to call me a lazy fuck and scream at me for doing nothing all day. FML
Today, my teenage son caught COVID and has passed it on to me. He's completely unaffected, and joking that he wants to catch it again, to get another week off school. I'm lying in bed, with a pounding headache, shivering so violently I'm shaking. FML
Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML
Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML
Today, my adult son is visiting, sick on my couch with influenza A. He's spent all week screaming about how anti vaxxers are stupid, but admits that he didn't get a flu shot because, "they don't work." I got my flu shot and still got sick because I'm immunocompromised. He fails to see the irony. FML
Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
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Top comments
MateRicks 18
Smart kid.
Zeishah 26
Such a creepy sight to wake upto:|
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Comments (128)
graceinsheepwear 33
At 15, why isn't he just faking being sick? Hasn't he seen Ferris Bueller?
SupremeLeader00 9
Tell him you're sick of his shit
EvilLittleMan 23
Your son is on a one-way ticket to Slackerville. Have the locks ready to change when he turns 18 and boot his tail out.
unlocked_ 9
This made me laugh so hard cause I'm 14 and any teenager would wanna do this
luffynoandroid_fml 5
"Mom, i gave myself flu but i swear it's not my fault :p"
sanecatlady 13
My life in junior high such was a constant nightmare that soon just going there made me sick.
blackonblight 32
Freshman year of highschool did the same to me. I ended up with a full agoraphobic mental breakdown requiring a week in the psych ward. Some places are just too much pressure.
dizarimia 6
meh. kids will be kids.
HueyMcLeon 6
smart kid, why play sick when you can get the real thing
Dave_Davington 33
I feel like I was the only teenager in the world who'd rather go to school than deal with being sick. Sure, I could sit around at home playing video games all day, but the blocked sinuses alone made the whole experience most assuredly not worth it.
sandintexas 3
Haha! That sounds about right for a 15 year old!!