Health, Accident and Parents: Bat out of hell

Bat out of hell

By my dad is blind as shit - 03/02/2023 17:00 - United States

Today, my dad asked to borrow my glasses to look for his glasses. He then took them off because they were extremely tight on his head, and gave them back to me. Then he turned around and walked into a wall. I sure hope my eyes don't get that bad, although they probably will by the time I'm 40. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 148

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Headshot

By suhleedah18 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was working on my computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eyepatch in a couple of days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 358

You deserved it 2 745

Bad day for glasses

By Anonymous - 09/10/2022 10:00

Today, I walked into the glass door of my boss’s cabin and broke my spectacles. Thank god for a backup pair, right? Wrong. I fell down the stairs and broke them too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 206

By farmakakis - 21/12/2009 06:25 - Australia

Today, I wore a pair of glasses with no lenses because I thought I'd look smarter. I ended up poking myself in the eye several times, leaving it swollen. So much for making me look smarter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 647

You deserved it 56 644

By Kyle - 10/05/2011 10:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 992

You deserved it 46 996

Skittish

By Anonymous - 18/07/2023 22:00 - Netherlands - Hardenberg

Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 596

You deserved it 175

By Liz - 08/07/2019 00:00

Today, I woke up, and I could see perfectly. Somehow, during the night, my eyes magically became 20/20. I was overjoyed, until I realized I'd fallen asleep with my glasses on. My eyes are still trash, and I want to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 649

You deserved it 587

Open door policy

By Luke Sparacio - 24/11/2023 00:00

Today, while we were exploring a building, my dad and I somehow got separated. After about 30 seconds, I found him on the other side of a door, so I went to go through what I thought was a door. Instead, I smashed my head on a windowpane and collapsed to the floor in pain in front of 5 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 197

Snapped

By Amorie - 26/04/2023 02:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, while I was normally and gently cleaning my glasses with my shirt they snapped in half. This is the second time this has happened, with the exact same glasses. The optometrist got me another pair last time, but this time they said no because it was too suspicious. I now have to buy $150 glasses again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 625

Not my sunnies!

By ladyofzanarkand - 20/05/2020 20:00

Today, while out shopping, a middle aged man snatched my sunglasses off my face, threw them off the ground, and stomped on them, saying, "That’s what you get for trying to look cool, asshole!" I suffer from light-induced migraines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 480

You deserved it 161

By Anonymous - 31/05/2016 15:30 - Canada - Saint John

Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 254

You deserved it 1 845

Yudith 24

Saturday 4 February 2023 2:42

My sister-in-law got LASIK. First, they don't accept the real big myopia, which means the people who need it the most cannot get it. Second, your vision continues to change after the LASIK surgery, which means my sister-in-law now wears glasses, even though she had LASIK. Third, you cannot have a LASIK surgery on top of a LASIK surgery; that would be like cutting a Bible page in two by the width, twice. So Daddy will need to do what all really near-sighted people do; only remove his glasses to sleep and take a shower.