By stainseverywhere - 01/02/2012 07:11 - United States

Spicy
Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML
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Top comments

greatbigc 0

Well its normal for everyone to do.. But id imagine that just but uncomfortable!

363 11
jbfan23100 0

Hmm expect to see a lot of tissues next time you walk past a bin.

326 4

Comments

greatbigc 0

Well its normal for everyone to do.. But id imagine that just but uncomfortable!

363 11
gntfmlingnow 12

Especially uncomfortable for the kid >.>

55 0
porp1 4

Tell the kid that you have to remove the pj's from the oven when they're golden brown, because soon start to burn.

55 5
indielove 13

He needs a sham wow.

64 0
zombicidal 11

you need the jizzle you say Vince I already have a cum rag but this crusty old gym sock Just pushes the cum around but the jizzle picks it up first wipe

11 55
Andr913 13

I voted YDI because this is beyond embarrassing for the kid and it's possible he's just having wet dreams.

111 5
Jonkbaby 22

better you tell him now rather when hes 35. na'mean?

15 0
zombicidal 11

I take it none of you have watched new wkuk

7 25
chlorinegreen 27

153- I knew what you were talking about lol and maybe daddy should have a talk with the son. Maybe the bird and the bees? It's embarrassing to talk to your parents about it so he's probably just doing whatever he can.

4 19
Squishypenguin 0

lol I remember that one :)

6 2
Autoshot 9

Good job, yell at the kid for having a wet dream. Ass.

19 8
kasumirock 13

If he's old enough to jack off all the time, he's old enough to do his own laundry.

29 6
blushy 14

he should do it in the bathroom. it's not op's fault. at least she's trying to teach him right

6 0
Dianaax33 9

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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CareFace 16

I was spanking the monkey when I was 8! Of course at that age I was still shooting blanks...

205 10
xXxIracebethxXx 14

13 years old is still too young to **********? Hell, I think it would be more of a concern if boys(maybe girls?) didn't start masturbating by the time they turn 8-10 years old.

teague95 16

I think 8 is a little young I was playing on playgrounds and skinning knees at 8

211 8
almost34 4

Yeah I would say 11-12 is the usual starting time.

68 11
DjeePee 24

Boaf, 'normal'... isn't it hard to speak about 'normal' if it comes to sexual activities? I think that starting to ********** between 12 and 14 years is the average, but that doesn't make the people who do it at a younger/older age not normal. You do know that toddlers also play with their genitals, don't you?

116 6
flockz 19

and my toilet was from there on always undecisive of the reason of its existance.

49 2
lolmigosh 15

Whenevr they start getting attracted to boys/girls is the time that it's normal to start.

5 52
Feklfekl2222 32

I'm not particularly attracted to boys and I wank( I'm 13).

20 72
gareth22 0

I started at 12 with advice from friend at camp, was the best advice I was given, stayed in the toilets all summer at that camp lol

32 3
asia3pea90 13

Guys start when their 11.....god. So no.....(dumbass)

6 70
D_JamesG 3

I started puberty when I was 9-10, it's normal haha

9 8
vampireclique 0

I'm 13 and the guys all talk about wanking to ****

18 10
enterkey299 0

This shows that girls no nothing about guys not children :P

5 29
thebottomdog 0

I knew about sex and masturbating when i was as yoing as i can remember 6 or 7 i guess didnt do it myself till i was around... Id say 14 or 15

10 4
Feklfekl2222 32

What am I thumbed down, I like to wank so what?

5 38
jonriise18 3

I love hearing about girls frigging themselves 220! Head up! Be proud!

13 11
EdgelessFire 0

Haha shooting blanks :D nice term. I kinda miss the old days where i didnt have to clean up lol

2 0
lil_ham1644 29

Lol "girls 'frigging' themselves?" Just say the word!

1 2
jbfan23100 0

Hmm expect to see a lot of tissues next time you walk past a bin.

326 4
williemac987 5

Oh my god! That would be so embarrassing! I don't think he even knows he's doing it. Since it's his PJs, it's probably just a wet dream.

66 3
almost34 4

Now that you mention it... How did it get IN the PJs?

2 25
Yak99 0

Because he came while he was wearing his PJs?

43 0
flockz 19

because he imagined the waist of the PJ's was a ******, literally throwing a hotdog down a hallway right there.

35 5
bn326160 13

What's the FML? Just a stage of life where most of young boys get through. :x Anyways, hope you have less work cleaning now ;)

0 1
jnaust 8

That won't scar him at all! Why not just put a box of tissues in his room and not mention what they're for? I'm sure he'd put 2 and 2 together and use them.

209 11
yankfan89 27

The kid will be fine however when he finds out that his story was shared on FML then he might become scarred.

78 2
TourettesGuyFTW 25

^word! What if he or a sibling etc reads this? You'll know who to blame when he turns on you in the next few years. Welcome to 21st century parenting, where you share your dirty laundry with the world.

37 3
TourettesGuyFTW 25

Subtle puns are good. If I had said "ha, you see what I did there?!" I would have punched myself in the face!

22 2
Buttsexpirate 9

Your gonna open his room door next time only to be flooded in tissues OP! Avalanche!

126 4
Mooish 18

Well not really an avalanche if his room was on a angle maybe. Time to buy some avalanche safety control!!

3 38
Tyger44 1

#98Are u so retarded that you dont have an imagination!?

37 2
DrMime 10

98- did you know that your home could be ravaged by the deadly forces of clouds at any time?!?! I recommend you buy some cloud insurance from me to protect yourself!!! Also you seem a little low on the mental side, so I'll throw in my patented 'imagination cream'! It's packed full of creamy wonder and joy! It's a white paste you can play with and it can be and do whatever you want it to! Also I have the option of 'imagination paper' if you like to draw... It's basically a piece of paper.

40 2
1happymummy 14

Aww but im sure many parents have to have that talk!

32 6
TourettesGuyFTW 25

yeah, and then tell the world about it afterwards...

15 5
DontForgetMe4 0

I'd say this was probably just as awkward for him! Now, all you need to do is buy many boxes of tissues, and NEVER look at his computer history.

152 5
Tikmysta 20

I think that's a little unfair if I understand your FML correctly, it is only perfectly normal for a boy at that age to have wet dreams. It is not alone time, I am almost sure of it. You should know this too I would assume :)

121 10
monkeyman3837 9

im 12 and im sorry to inform you but most boys have wet dreams around late 10 and early 11

2 0
fmessiah 19

You did not have to do that, there are many other non embarrassing methods you could use, like above said a box of tissues and a small bottle of lube would be a very subtle way. And did you consider that maybe it isn't him having 'alone time' (he keeps his seed in a jar and fills your moisturiser bottle with it when you aren't looking), maybe he is having uncontrollable wet dreams.

38 81
thinkPlNK 0

even though at the time it may have been awkward, OP's son should appreciate his mother talked to him about it. he may understand it more and know that there's not anything wrong with masterbating.

32 5
Llama_Face89 33

How is putting a bottle of lube in the kids room subtle?

95 5
Leadamp 7

Ok. Whatever about putting a box of tissues in his room and not saying anything but why would you put lube in a kids bedroom

16 1
winfieldALJD 6

Please no one else comment on 108 so we can keep th thumbs up at 69!

1 10