Love: Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me...

By sad - 30/03/2012 22:21 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said, "Good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was, "Just wank it off and move on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 637

You deserved it 3 027

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Same thing different taste

By Author - 24/02/2014 22:22 - United States - Naples

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 413

You deserved it 6 838

By bastard magnet - 02/10/2011 22:14 - United States

Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 097

You deserved it 7 961

Dad of the day

By Anonymous - 04/07/2023 23:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad is disappointed in me because I came to him for advice on how I should tell my girlfriend I don’t feel ready for sex yet. He just looked at me, shook his head, and walked away. Later he sent my mom to ask me if I’m gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 232

You deserved it 429

By Lisa - 19/09/2011 02:07 - United States

Today, after being dumped by my boyfriend of two years, I poured my heart out to my dad. He nodded and looked sympathetic throughout. Afterwards, I asked him what I should do. He replied, "How the hell should I know?" and awkwardly left my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 932

You deserved it 5 719

By i suck, this i know :( - 26/07/2013 22:11 - Malawi - Blantyre

Today, I went to my father for advice. I've been seeing a wonderful girl for the past month, and I feel terrible about it, because I already have a girlfriend. He said "Kill yourself" and that if I "can't even do that right" then to get out of his house, because he disowns me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 144

You deserved it 71 709

By Anonymous - 08/05/2011 19:21 - United States

Today, I confided to my dad that since the recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 months, I feel down all the time and life doesn't feel worth living anymore. His loving advice was for me to "grow the fuck up and get your sentimental head out of la-la land." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 076

You deserved it 72 059

By lovealways22 - 17/07/2012 07:19 - United States - Littleton

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 042

You deserved it 2 838

By Anonymous - 03/07/2014 04:53 - United States - Muncie

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. After breaking the news to my parents, I heard my dad mutter when I left, "Damn it, I liked her better than him." My mother didn't protest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 687

You deserved it 13 210

Realistic

By IBleedArbor - 16/02/2009 22:59 - United States

Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "No that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 302

You deserved it 5 027

By Junior - 26/01/2010 07:35 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of my dad constantly hitting on her. Not because she was disgusted, but because she wants to date him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 719

You deserved it 2 963

moonmonkeyman 6

Saturday 31 March 2012 6:21

I think your dad is trying to tell you something. What that something is I don't know.

LolFMLnot 10

Saturday 31 March 2012 9:01

Thats every gay guy's dream dad right there.

Comments

moonmonkeyman 6

Saturday 31 March 2012 6:21

I think your dad is trying to tell you something. What that something is I don't know.

airforce987 20

Saturday 31 March 2012 6:26

You don't say? :nicolascage:

brt3420 13

Saturday 31 March 2012 8:40

I think we got the father of the year right here!

LolFMLnot 10

Saturday 31 March 2012 9:01

Thats every gay guy's dream dad right there.

TheBonzaiGirl 0

Saturday 31 March 2012 9:05

If he thinks the world is overpopulated, then why the hell did he have kids?!

JocelynKaulitz 28

Saturday 31 March 2012 9:28

Don't hate, **********! :D

HopeLoveMusic 0

Monday 2 April 2012 1:03

Not as bad as it is now probably.

pocoipoco 0

Saturday 31 March 2012 6:22

I should probably take some Midol and zip my damn mouth before my pissy attitude goes too far. I really like Dane Cook. Snooki is my idol. Justin Bieber is my one true love. Glee... completes... me.

MidnaLink 33

Saturday 31 March 2012 6:23

Asshole

dominic1221 6

Saturday 31 March 2012 6:26

With a piss poor attitude like that, I'm not shocked. Take the advice, chika.

Pentium_4 27

Saturday 31 March 2012 6:46

troll alert! nice edit

berichsoon 11

Saturday 31 March 2012 6:53

U need professional help

THE_A_TEEN 27

Saturday 31 March 2012 7:10

Oooh, oooh oooh, Sirin, Sirin! Can I give this guy a lobotomy? Pwease?

Sirin_fml 46

Saturday 31 March 2012 7:12

A bit redundant, The_A_Teen.

THE_A_TEEN 27

Saturday 31 March 2012 7:20

Fine, then i'll proceed to beat the Dumbass with the detachable Penis I won in a card game.

Glambert_lover 5

Saturday 31 March 2012 12:15

Dickface!

KRS_13 0

Saturday 31 March 2012 18:08

Am I the only one who doesn't get how 2's comment has anything to with the FML? Did I miss something?

THE_A_TEEN 27

Saturday 31 March 2012 18:26

Well #86, #2's comment was edited by the FML moderators. Usually it happens when some dumbass post "FIRST" or something ridiculous on the very first comments of the FML. Since #2 got banned and the post-edited comment mentioned her shutting up, along with the 2 first replies indicate that she posted something hurtful or homophobic/bigoted since the FML mentioned homosexuality. There, good enough for you?

SkateboardGirl88 11

Saturday 31 March 2012 20:58

GTFO.

RoseSheeran98 3

Saturday 31 March 2012 21:31

Your problem is that no one likes you do you take it out on everyone else.

KRS_13 0

Sunday 1 April 2012 15:40

87- ohh I see. Well. That made me feel a little stupid xP

SupaHotFire 4

Saturday 31 March 2012 6:22

Sounds like a great guy!

hemz_fml 13

Saturday 31 March 2012 17:07

Tbh, as bad as advice it was, he's lived his life and if you follow it you're probably going to forget about her anyway because she didn't sound like a great person to begin with.

Monkeyone 0

Saturday 31 March 2012 6:22

lololol 'wank it off'

moonmonkeyman 6

Saturday 31 March 2012 6:24

Don't u hate it when in the comment they say second but they are really 4th

skitzofunia88 8

Saturday 31 March 2012 6:58

He's from the UK man, don't laugh. They can't help it.

tandem123 6

Sunday 1 April 2012 1:07

words to live by.

duckmunch 10

Tuesday 12 September 2017 22:04

o lo

maxamus951852 3

Saturday 31 March 2012 6:25

This is exactly why i dont confide with my dad

xXxIracebethxXx 14

Saturday 31 March 2012 7:14

Daddy issues?

HeartOfLead 24

Saturday 31 March 2012 7:24

I don't see a problem, his advice was valid (I take it that he meant for his daughter not to dwell on her past relationship). And when I first read this FML, I was thinking 'can I get an amen!'.

HeartOfLead 24

Saturday 31 March 2012 7:24

I don't see a problem, his advice was valid (I take it that he meant for his daughter not to dwell on her past relationship). And when I first read this FML, I was thinking 'can I get an amen!'.

Talia_91 13

Saturday 31 March 2012 7:34

OP is male.

ladyLALAA 28

Saturday 31 March 2012 11:16

It would be very awkward for a dad to tell his daughter to "wank it off" haha.

thejargogler 4

Saturday 31 March 2012 6:26

There are just as many girls as there are guys in the world. You'll find someone!

aurorakitty 3

Saturday 31 March 2012 7:09

umm... don't want to look like a jerk here, but last i checked it was 106:100 boys to girls. He might not find a girl. But then again, he could go have an amazing life without the distraction. ...weird dad though. Kinda awesome but kinda weird.