Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was gathering laundry around the house. I forgot my son was almost 13, and grabbed the very stiff socks from under his bed with my bare hands. FML
Today, my 12-year-old son came home after a week with his father. He was still wearing the same socks and underwear I sent him out with. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 7-year-old son that it's not okay to smell others' "wieners". FML
Today, I grabbed a fresh hand towel from the drawer in the bathroom. I wiped my hands and noticed they smelled like shit. My 6-year-old had wiped poo from his finger onto the dark grey towels. I guess he sometimes helps the poo out. Good to know. FML
Today, I found all my missing underwear that I have been looking for for months, and have been replacing. They were all hidden in a pile in my 14 year-old son's bedroom, covered in crusty stuff. When confronted, his response as to why was, "Hormones…?" FML
Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML
Today, there was a laundry basket of my clothes sitting in my room. My dad asked me if they were clean or not. When I said I didn't know, he picked up a piece of my clothing, sniffed it, and said it smelled fine. That piece of clothing just so happened to be my underwear. FML
Today, a man walked through my line with a XL bottle of lotion and many boxes of tissues. As I was ringing him up, the customer broke the silence by saying, "Yeah my son won't stop using the cooking oil for his 'personal time'", finger-air-quotes and all. FML
Today, I pulled several socks from under my son's bed. I spent far too long trying to figure out why they were so stiff before I finally realized. FML
Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML
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Top comments
greatbigc 0
Well its normal for everyone to do.. But id imagine that just but uncomfortable!
jbfan23100 0
Hmm expect to see a lot of tissues next time you walk past a bin.
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Comments (280)
rodster11224 0
Me and my dad had this conversation before
theskaven 2
At 13?? Wow he has a great head start.
simgar98 0
nope.... I started at 12....
Argumental_Rhino 8
I'm 13 and started at 9.
InuwindoW 13
Way to scar him for life!
tennis06 7
awkward moment..
annagilbert 6
lol.."crispy"
superpokgai123 0
Lol
pyrt93 4
What's the big deal; he's a teenager and that's perfectly normal, especially at 13.
Burrito_Time 5
Or a sock!!
simgar98 0
yeah........... fapfapfapfapfap... OMG THIS IS HANDY NOW I DONT HAVE TO USE TISSUES ANYMORE
Lexi9312 5
Well it's a conversation everyone has to go through at some point and it might be uncomfortable but it's normal. I'm sure your not the only one. But I this makes you feel uncomfortable, I can't imagine what the "birds and the bees" talk will be like for you. Good luck...
CaptainPickles72 18
Not everyone goes through the "birds and the bees" talk. I personally didn't. My mom pretty much figured I knew a lot already. All she did was come in my room one day and told me "if you're gonna start having sex and don't have any money for condoms, feel free to ask me to get some for you. Plus if you're stupid and get a girl pregnant, I'm not taking care of it and you can feel free to move out". If this kid has the right mind about sex (or masturbation in his case) it might be awkward but he'll feel grateful for any kind of talk later on.
caysters 12
My mom gave no real birds and the bees talk. It was more like "If you choose to have sex, please just let me take you to get birth control."
loserman67 36
It could have been worse, at least it was the "crispy" pj's talk and not the "Son, judging by the number of skid marks, it looks like there was a ten car accident in your pj's" talk. He's probably not going to want to look you in the eye fro awhile, but this too shall pass. Be a nice mommy and buy him a supply of Bounty, "The Quicker Picker Upper"!