Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was gathering laundry around the house. I forgot my son was almost 13, and grabbed the very stiff socks from under his bed with my bare hands. FML
Today, my 12-year-old son came home after a week with his father. He was still wearing the same socks and underwear I sent him out with. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 7-year-old son that it's not okay to smell others' "wieners". FML
Today, I grabbed a fresh hand towel from the drawer in the bathroom. I wiped my hands and noticed they smelled like shit. My 6-year-old had wiped poo from his finger onto the dark grey towels. I guess he sometimes helps the poo out. Good to know. FML
Today, I found all my missing underwear that I have been looking for for months, and have been replacing. They were all hidden in a pile in my 14 year-old son's bedroom, covered in crusty stuff. When confronted, his response as to why was, "Hormones…?" FML
Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML
Today, there was a laundry basket of my clothes sitting in my room. My dad asked me if they were clean or not. When I said I didn't know, he picked up a piece of my clothing, sniffed it, and said it smelled fine. That piece of clothing just so happened to be my underwear. FML
Today, a man walked through my line with a XL bottle of lotion and many boxes of tissues. As I was ringing him up, the customer broke the silence by saying, "Yeah my son won't stop using the cooking oil for his 'personal time'", finger-air-quotes and all. FML
Today, I pulled several socks from under my son's bed. I spent far too long trying to figure out why they were so stiff before I finally realized. FML
Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML
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Top comments
greatbigc 0
Well its normal for everyone to do.. But id imagine that just but uncomfortable!
jbfan23100 0
Hmm expect to see a lot of tissues next time you walk past a bin.
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Comments (280)
sodapopper 6
Maybe he blew his nose on them..
supertacowaffle 41
Give him a sock?
isis_morrigan 18
and this has now been added to the "awkward things to look forward to" discussion list with my son, think maybe I'll put this one off on daddy! lol!
CommonSense314 3
Why are you cleaning up after your 13 yr old in the first place? He can help with chores around the house...
KatieKayy15 0
this isn't something everyone wants to read on FML, not to mention, what if someone shows it to him ? smh .
5t3ff1k4h 47
Grow up. If the moderators deemed it okay to publish, there's nothing wrong with the FML or the information in it. Don't like it? Don't use the site.
CaptainPickles72 18
The recommended age for the Intimacy section is 18. So don't complain about a place you shouldn't be!
im_not_creative 5
Considering its his pajama's, he probably had a dream to where he was getting frisky and had a little accident. It's fairly common around his age.
skroal 7
When I was his age my mom told me to stop using the tissues and gave me one of my dad's socks that hat no mate.
TheNewGuy03 29
I was around 9 or 10, and I was playing in a pool. My dick happened to be near one of the water pumps, and it felt sorta nice, so I didn't move. After a few moments, it started to feel nicer, and I continued my intense efforts to not move at all. It all ended in one burst of niceness, and I had no idea what happened to me until several years later. Yeah, I scarred myself. ****. |the kid|
Ressamies 6
I can't believe that kid actually had the balls to ask that.
Flogsworth 0
How about you just wash his pajamas and shut your ******* mouth, bitch..