Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was gathering laundry around the house. I forgot my son was almost 13, and grabbed the very stiff socks from under his bed with my bare hands. FML
Today, my 12-year-old son came home after a week with his father. He was still wearing the same socks and underwear I sent him out with. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 7-year-old son that it's not okay to smell others' "wieners". FML
Today, I grabbed a fresh hand towel from the drawer in the bathroom. I wiped my hands and noticed they smelled like shit. My 6-year-old had wiped poo from his finger onto the dark grey towels. I guess he sometimes helps the poo out. Good to know. FML
Today, I found all my missing underwear that I have been looking for for months, and have been replacing. They were all hidden in a pile in my 14 year-old son's bedroom, covered in crusty stuff. When confronted, his response as to why was, "Hormones…?" FML
Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML
Today, there was a laundry basket of my clothes sitting in my room. My dad asked me if they were clean or not. When I said I didn't know, he picked up a piece of my clothing, sniffed it, and said it smelled fine. That piece of clothing just so happened to be my underwear. FML
Today, a man walked through my line with a XL bottle of lotion and many boxes of tissues. As I was ringing him up, the customer broke the silence by saying, "Yeah my son won't stop using the cooking oil for his 'personal time'", finger-air-quotes and all. FML
Today, I pulled several socks from under my son's bed. I spent far too long trying to figure out why they were so stiff before I finally realized. FML
Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML
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Top comments
greatbigc 0
Well its normal for everyone to do.. But id imagine that just but uncomfortable!
jbfan23100 0
Hmm expect to see a lot of tissues next time you walk past a bin.
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Comments (280)
rezzrhyme 0
must be why my mom started making me do my own laundry at 13 lol
chellyX92 8
That's just awkward for everyone. At least you didn't scorn "touching" himself. And even taught him a more discreet method.
bubo_fml 11
Imagine all the 'extra starched' socks under his bed!
DomoLaDii 8
EWWW... already at 13?! wow sucks for u I
bubo_fml 11
Thanks for the tip...I'll be sure to avoid grabbing the "crispy crotch" when handling soiled laundry.
LateandGreat 11
Kid's just 13. How does it **** anyone's life to tell him to ********** the right way. Sheesh.
DevilBoi69x 0
This made me lol so hard
lkeels 2
So first of all, you had no business saying anything. I don't think a little crispy was hurting you when you put his clothes in the wash. Second, tissues are a bad idea for cleanup. Try cleaning something sticky with a tissue and I think you'll understand what I mean. Use a little sense next time.
Rich_Ass_Cunt 9
I was eating when I read this.
lkeels 2
Are you serious? Can you read? The kid didn't ask anything...the MOTHER did.