Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was gathering laundry around the house. I forgot my son was almost 13, and grabbed the very stiff socks from under his bed with my bare hands. FML
Today, my 12-year-old son came home after a week with his father. He was still wearing the same socks and underwear I sent him out with. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 7-year-old son that it's not okay to smell others' "wieners". FML
Today, I grabbed a fresh hand towel from the drawer in the bathroom. I wiped my hands and noticed they smelled like shit. My 6-year-old had wiped poo from his finger onto the dark grey towels. I guess he sometimes helps the poo out. Good to know. FML
Today, I found all my missing underwear that I have been looking for for months, and have been replacing. They were all hidden in a pile in my 14 year-old son's bedroom, covered in crusty stuff. When confronted, his response as to why was, "Hormones…?" FML
Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML
Today, there was a laundry basket of my clothes sitting in my room. My dad asked me if they were clean or not. When I said I didn't know, he picked up a piece of my clothing, sniffed it, and said it smelled fine. That piece of clothing just so happened to be my underwear. FML
Today, a man walked through my line with a XL bottle of lotion and many boxes of tissues. As I was ringing him up, the customer broke the silence by saying, "Yeah my son won't stop using the cooking oil for his 'personal time'", finger-air-quotes and all. FML
Today, I pulled several socks from under my son's bed. I spent far too long trying to figure out why they were so stiff before I finally realized. FML
Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML
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Top comments
greatbigc 0
Well its normal for everyone to do.. But id imagine that just but uncomfortable!
jbfan23100 0
Hmm expect to see a lot of tissues next time you walk past a bin.
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Comments (280)
OfficeNinja 5
His "alone time" could be when he is sleeping, therefore he will not be able to get to any tissues.
perdix 31
Obvious solution: Teach the horny, little master baiter to do his own laundry! If he's stupid and/or shameless enough to let you find his crispy PJs, he most likely won't dispose of the wad-filled wads of Kleenex properly.
Enslaved 38
Master baiter? Sounds like you plan on fishing for pink snapper later on. ;) Lol
brun12 1
Oh god that's awkward. I'm so glad I have 2 girls and not boys lol
Colonel_Lexi 18
Be prepared to find a vibrator in the pillow case when you wash their linen and sheets, 83.
Epikouros 32
You'll have your fun when the girls start dating...
HannahWho 8
I pray to god you did not tell your daughters masturbation is not normal for females.
PYLrulz 17
I think it's probably a safe bet that it's from wet dreams, rather than wanking off.
perdix 31
You might want to invest in some door locks in the rooms where he's likely to "take care of business," and advise his of their proper use. You want him to keep "alone time" all to himself. This is one case where sharing is not caring ;)
ageier7 10
yeah I'm pretty sure that he was definitely having wet dreams
Ins_Knie 2
Yes, it's very important that PJs are smooth and not crispy when they go in the laundry. Sheesh...
ymcmbboss 0
Have him test the statistics on condoms,
charliethom 0
Every mom does. Consider yourself lucky my sister felt 'that' while her kid was 9
submynutz 3
if he is 13 he should already be doing his own laundry and also eeww