By SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland

Dancing queen

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

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38999

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Health

Capitalism kills

Ambien conversations are the worst

OK, well, goodbye

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad decided that he wanted to start a collection of sporks. They're filling up our car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24126

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2410

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By fbcaught - United States

Today, I was checking the Facebook event page to see who is attending the party I am having this weekend, since my parents are going out of town. 1 person has confirmed. My mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10724

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By Anonymous - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my boss asked me if I had any special plans for Christmas. After I told him I was planning a trip to Canada, he snapped, "Well, you can forget it. I need you at the office." FML

I agree, your life sucks

26962

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1826

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By Disappointed - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, after 10 months of hard work, it was the opening night of the show I was directing. Everybody loved it, except my mother. She called it the worst thing she'd ever seen. Thanks for the support, mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39889

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By nofatchicks - United States - Tampa

Today, I nervously flirted with a very cute guy. Being a little overweight, I rarely think cute guys will go for me. This line of thinking was yet again correct when he casually pulled his sleeve up revealing a tattoo of a pinup girl with a "NO FAT CHICKS" sign below it. FML

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61658

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By thatsnotmyname - United States - Calhoun City

Today, my boyfriend of a couple of weeks mixed up my name with his ex wife's name. After he said it, he looked at me and said, "You knew it was going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks

44935

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7770

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By hannamacintosh - Canada - Toronto

Today, I knew my relationship was basically over when my boyfriend invited me over, and I was more excited about seeing his dog than seeing him. FML

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10644

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By Leah Truncale - 24/11/2020 13:58 - United States - Petaluma

But was he cute though?

Today, I met a boy on Snapchat. I sent him my picture and he said I was cute. We talked for a bit, and I said, "Okay" to something. Then he sent his picture, but my slow Wi-Fi made it look like I said okay to his picture, right after he'd called me cute. I tried to explain, but he said I was just trying to be nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

738

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112

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By waltzy777 - United States

Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, i had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. right when i finished, i ran out of gas. My 83 year old grandmother saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13584

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82895

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By englishclasshigh - United States

Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML

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50504

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By sophie - United States

Today, my teacher told me I wasn't pretty enough to play the princess part in the play. FML

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45692

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5742

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I gave a campus tour to a group of high school seniors. As I was showing off the dorms, one student asks, "Are these beds sturdy enough for threesomes?" Before I could respond, another kid shouts, "How would he know, I bet the only action he gets in bed is from his left hand." She's correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks

108860

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By ihatebadkids - United States - Hesperia

Today, I was uninvited from every family event henceforth, because I finally had it and told my sister that I can’t stand to be around her horribly misbehaved kids. They have screaming meltdown tantrums, throw and break things, start fights and steal. How am I the bad guy? FML

I agree, your life sucks

2054

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250

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By Unlucky - Australia - Cairns

Today, I realized that at 20 years old I already have noticeable wrinkles around my eyes. But to balance it out, my chronic acne keeps me looking youthful. FML

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32850

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML

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13911

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By Anonymous - 8/5/2020 23:00

Candid camera

Today, I prominently touched my boobs and put my hand inside my shirt to adjust my bra… all while I had my camera on during a Zoom meeting with the whole department FML

I agree, your life sucks

641

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1550

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By rebecca - Austria

Today, as a bartender was carding my friends, I excitedly asked if he was going to card me. The guy gave me a blank stare before finally replying, "Look, lady, I don't have time to stroke some middle-aged woman's ego." I asked because it was my birthday. I just turned twenty-one. FML

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90193

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7130

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By Anonymous - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I pulled up next to a lady who was trying to text, smoke, and drive. My brother said that she was probably going to cause an accident. He was right. At the next light she hit us. She then yelled that I purposely caused the accident because, "that's how teenagers are". FML

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52063

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3428

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By anonymous - United States - Elk River

Today, my boyfriend bought us plane tickets to Mexico for our "Honeymoon". This would be nice if he had proposed and if we'd been dating for longer than 2 weeks. FML

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38688

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By Celluloid - United States

Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML

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17037

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By wtf - Canada

Today, I found out my wife isn't cheating. She says she's just getting older and sex isn't important anymore. She's 27. FML

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48711

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By Stinkbomber - United States - Woonsocket

Today, at work, our grease traps were getting cleaned out. My desk is right next to the vent for outside air, and veryone thought I crapped myself and wouldn't go near me. FML

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5805

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By tramplily - United States

Today, I was driving home and got a phone call from my mom. She called to tell me that there was a cop at the bottom of our hill, and to be careful. I got a ticket for talking on my cell phone while driving. FML

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15597

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By Deceptive Dog 1242 - United States

It's Cat-Dog!

Today, I pulled something out of my tiny 6 month old puppy's mouth, thinking it was a cord that he had gotten a hold of. As it turns out, it was a baby mouse he had caught and killed. FML

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2323

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259

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By Jobless - Canada

Today, I had a job interview. The moment I walked into the room, the interviewer said "Ok, I will interview you, but there is no way I'm hiring you." FML

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32136

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By gordogs 25 - New Zealand - Auckland

Leave Me Alone

Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently on my honeymoon. FML

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37975

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12979

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By theholt - United States

Today, I saw a man on the bus with the strangest band shirt I have ever seen. I could not help but stare at it and try and figure what the band was, until he turned to me and said "why not take a picture asshole?" then got off the bus. As he walked away I saw that he was missing an arm. FML

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30370

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Today, my teacher told me that unless I went into medicine, math, or engineering, I would never amount to anything in life. This wasn't even two minutes after I told him I want to be an author. FML

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1951

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363

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By alliez108 - United States

Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML

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29820

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By Anonymous - 13/10/2020 23:01

Alternative medicine is bull

Today, when my neighbor came over to ask about a serious rash her child had, she totally passed by me, the EMT/firefighter, to ask the hippy pastry chef what she thought of it, and if she had oils to "cure" it. So much for my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1016

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177

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By Deconstructed - United States

Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML

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46026

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By in love with an idiot - Angola - Luanda

Today, my soon-to-be husband showed up with an animal print suit at our engagement ceremony. FML

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10170

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1631

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By Anonymous

Today, I failed a final presentation. My partner, who did none of the research, presented the entire project, talking over me and glaring when I spoke up. He denied everything and the professor didn't believe me. Now I have to retake this class with the same professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3433

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By Girl-of-very-little-brain - Canada

Today, I woke up at midnight crying, stood up to turn on the lights and face-planted into my wall. FML

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26165

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4950

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By chattyloz - United Kingdom

Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backed against a wall, lifted my skirt and sorted it. I then turned around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13793

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By anonymous - United States - Los Angeles

Today, we've hit day 4 with no hot water in my apartment. Today is also day 4 of the office insisting that the plumber is "on his way". My neighbor just got arrested for screaming at them. Looks like we'll be entering day 5 soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6445

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421

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By samboob - United States

Today, I saw one of those candies that you spray on your tongue. Only after spraying some in my mouth did I find it was actually perfume. FML

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9089

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By shit - United States - South Holland

Today, my sister was taking forever in the bathroom, and I jokingly threatened to kick down the door. I rammed into it, and it actually bust almost off its hinges. My sister screamed and our parents came running. Now I'm grounded forever and our bathroom has no door. FML

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25069

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By Anonymous

Whistleblower

Today, my boss held a meeting to talk about how we can't overlook others and no one should pick favorites. I walked out unemployed when I pointed out that she completely ignored the person who made the biggest sale in company history and constantly gave her son raises for mediocre work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5714

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By PerfectTiming - Netherlands - Eindhoven

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

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48796

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Top comments

By perdix | 29

#1978879 - Monday 17 January 2011 20:05

Way to deploy the retro-rockets to ensure a soft landing!

By Doortje | 29

#1978906 - Monday 17 January 2011 20:09

Since you were demonstrating, did everyone repeat your exact moves? Including the long fart?

COMMENTS

By Molord1 | 0

#1978852 - Monday 17 January 2011 20:01

lol

By perdix | 29

#1978879 - Monday 17 January 2011 20:05

Way to deploy the retro-rockets to ensure a soft landing!

FYLDeep | 25

#1979070 - Monday 17 January 2011 21:09

Yeah, but the whole room probably smells like sulfur now from all the released gases.

keneko_kills_you | 0

#1980334 - Tuesday 18 January 2011 4:10

nice

No_LoveMM | 3

#1982091 - Tuesday 18 January 2011 14:11

I agree. Safety first!

babyfirefly905 | 0

#2043818 - Friday 4 February 2011 12:03

lmao....nice one

SpartanCEL | 6

#5559124 - Sunday 30 June 2013 14:29

And we have touchdown!!!

By youprobablydidit | 3

#1978890 - Monday 17 January 2011 20:07

Holy shit. I would die if that happened to me.

nathan5 | 0

#1979145 - Monday 17 January 2011 21:40

You die if you fart?

WeeGee_fml | 0

#1980894 - Tuesday 18 January 2011 7:56

is that some kind of disease or condition? well I guess that means stay the hell away from beans for you

DoubleEdgedBlade | 4

#1981384 - Tuesday 18 January 2011 10:18

This kind of puts "explosive diarrhea" to a whole new level.

ahc123 | 4

#5415257 - Friday 22 March 2013 4:51

Haha. This HAS happened to me:/

By Doortje | 29

#1978906 - Monday 17 January 2011 20:09

Since you were demonstrating, did everyone repeat your exact moves? Including the long fart?

Watermelon2011 | 6

#1978926 - Monday 17 January 2011 20:13

lol

daaron | 3

#1981002 - Tuesday 18 January 2011 8:54

cute damn that sucks shouldve strectch never wouldve happen btw can't you control you ass too do silent ones

RDiaz | 0

#1983980 - Wednesday 19 January 2011 4:43

hahahahahaha!!

SydneyG | 0

#2795725 - Friday 1 July 2011 4:31

Bro that's embarressing lmfao but funny as hell if everyone did that too

sweethang26 | 7

#4842021 - Tuesday 21 August 2012 5:34

Round. Of. Applause.

By angel080394 | 7

#1978912 - Monday 17 January 2011 20:10

thats so embarrassing! at least you can do the splits tho!

By HomeAl0ne | 20

#1978914 - Monday 17 January 2011 20:12

I suspect the teacher asked you to demonstrate a "Fouetté jeté" and you heard it as "fart jet". I've made that mistake myself.

beccusmaximus | 0

#1979064 - Monday 17 January 2011 21:07

Lol, every dancer only makes this mistake once.

iRichiq | 3

#1984764 - Wednesday 19 January 2011 10:01

was the picture taken WHILE it happend, or when u smelt that it did?

By Ninjafriends | 1

#1978931 - Monday 17 January 2011 20:14

If your fart wasn't propelling you off the ground, you would have completed the splits in one or two seconds.

BrittyBFMV | 0

#1984702 - Wednesday 19 January 2011 9:53

lmao!

By Miss_Michaela | 10

#1978936 - Monday 17 January 2011 20:16

Hahaha! Oh dear. Next time you know to keep away from the curry the night before. Could have been worse. You could have 'sharted' yourself. :P

By ryno00005 | 0

#1979037 - Monday 17 January 2011 20:48

lmfao

By IronZombie | 0

#1979051 - Monday 17 January 2011 21:02

u farted for 5 full seconds? why not stop yourself as soon as you started? or do you have 0 control of your gas. must suck for whoever has to work next to you if that's the case

madalynn | 11

#1980820 - Tuesday 18 January 2011 7:29

xDDDD