Today, I had to pull guard duty. I had to guard the latrine because somebody likes to stuff whole toilet paper rolls in the toilet to clog it. Only six more months in Iraq. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML
Today, while all the other marines got to fly around the island on a helicopter, I got stuck on gear guard. What was I guarding? The staff sergeant's parking spot. FML
Today, I went to change the toilet paper roll. I failed. It was the last roll of the "right kind," and my wife is "fine" and "not mad." Let the confinement continue. FML
Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML
Today, I walked four blocks with toilet paper hanging out of my pants. FML
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML
Today, I took a dump at work, when I realized there was no toilet paper left. There was another guy in the room, so I asked him for some. He decided he'd rather dump all the rolls of paper into the other toilets, before wishing me luck and walking out while laughing his ass off. FML
Today, I did a big shit at work and found there was no toilet paper. I had to wipe my ass with disinfectant toilet seat wipes. It burns so bad, I can almost taste it. FML
Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML
Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML
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Top comments
Sadielovesyou 0
who is stupid enough to clog the toilet! what an idiot!
mamamiaaa_fml 12
I think the military is doing what they are ordered to do. It's important that people are able to understand this. I don't agree with the war over there especially the justification used, but I have a lot of respect for someone (whatever the reason: to serve country, tuition money, just a job, etc) who has enough courage to go out there leaving friends, family, and all the comforts of home to go and fight, or perform whatever service in harms way. It takes a lot and it's not the soldiers' fault we are there it's the politicians so blame them JS.
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Comments (212)
fml5891 0
Why everyone getting so political? No one cares on what you think about war. That what Facebook is for. Im going to sleep and you should get a life.
ndm777 0
i agree with #197...you ppl need to try
Peachesz25 0
thank you SO MUCH for being brave enough to serve our country. =)
Karnezar 2
Must be boring over there if they're clogging toilets for fun...
zszs2525 0
STFU! You're in Iraq. Everyone knows there's nothing going on in Iraq, you crying b*tch. You could be in Afghanistan right now hating your life because you get shot at or blown up every day and your best friend is now dead. Appreciate what you have and think of the others who have it a million times worse than you. There are no toilets in some places in the Ghan.There is no internet to get on and cry about your life. Have you even shot your weapon, you POG b*tch?
bugmenotmofo 34
typical american, wasting resources just "for teh lulz" I mean, what kind of asshole uses a whole roll of paper for such idiotic prank? that, my friend is why you are on Iraq, because there is not enough oil in your country to feed all the suv's you use everyday to go all alone to places that are in walk distance. wasteful bastards, I hope someone stops you before you drain all of the world's resources.
fyreshadowes 2
Some of the comments on this FML are making me sick. I doubt OP chose where he was deployed, and just because he chose to risk his life in service to our country doesn't automatically mean that the entire war was his fault. America's citizens are not at fault for the decisions our government makes. Kudos to you, OP, for being brave enough to protect our country so others don't have to. Some people are simply inconsiderate bastards who don't have a compassionate bone in their body. Good luck to you, and thank you for your service.
Chaosroses 3
Gotta keep the moral up some how...
ednusi 7
GO BUSH!!!
gman90210 18
Be glad your there. I spent 1.5 years there and wish I could have gone back.