Today, I went to change the toilet paper roll. I failed. It was the last roll of the "right kind," and my wife is "fine" and "not mad." Let the confinement continue. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my family got mad at me for installing toilet paper going under instead of over. Considering I'm the only one who fills the empty spool, I thought that it wouldn't matter. FML
Today, I went into the bathroom and got angry upon finding that once again, no one had bothered to put on a new roll of toilet paper. And then I remembered that I live alone. FML
Today, I accidentally dropped a whole roll of toilet paper into the toilet. It was my last roll. FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML
Today, as I realized I'm too broke to go out and get more toilet paper, I noticed my cat chewing on something and tearing it apart. It was my last roll. FML
Today, my entire family of five is sharing one roll of toilet paper. My parents refuse to buy any, because my father can get it free from his work. He's forgotten to bring any home every day without fail for the past seven days. FML
Today, I realized that the reason there is no toilet paper in the house is because both my parents are too stubborn to be the one who goes out to buy more. It's been five days. FML
Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML
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Top comments
Amy78_fml 11
This is an example of why I'm very insistent that the lid of the toilet be closed. We close the lid for three reasons: 1. keeps the animals from drinking out of it, 2. helps keep the toilet germs from flying all around the room when it is flushed, 3. I do not enjoy fishing things out that have fallen in.
Dale Gulley 8
And this is why I keep the lid down when not in use...
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Comments (6)
Amy78_fml 11
This is an example of why I'm very insistent that the lid of the toilet be closed. We close the lid for three reasons: 1. keeps the animals from drinking out of it, 2. helps keep the toilet germs from flying all around the room when it is flushed, 3. I do not enjoy fishing things out that have fallen in.
Dale Gulley 8
And this is why I keep the lid down when not in use...
jkjorn 16
^ This. I've never understood why there's arguments about leaving the seat up or down; in my book it's lid (and therefore seat) down when not in use (and I'm a guy btw.)
MamaChey 24
Why isn’t there any water in the bowl?
S3XY_SiNG3R 5
Ooo. Tread lightly.
didntthinkaboutthispart 3
It’s literally toilet paper.. relatively cheap and easy to obtain..your wife sounds awful..