Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as a nurse, I had to tell a 15 year-old girl that her red, sore asscrack was caused by consistently not wiping her ass properly. Seriously, when I examined her there was still poop, even though she swore she wiped this morning. I had to teach her how to do it properly, at 15 years-old. FML
Today, I went to the OBGYN for my annual, and noticed they now supplied babywipes. After 3 seconds of "cleaning", the intense burning started. Turns out they were antibacterial bleach wipes. FML
Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML
Today, I've been having persistent fungal infections and was getting treated by a male gynecologist. I had to go in to give vaginal swab tests. I washed and cleaned before I left, but when I got on the doctor's table I already had so much discharge. The doctor asked, "Is it the medicine?" I had to say no. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my daughter’s school. Apparently she stood on top of a table and screamed, “I HAVE SYPHILIS” at the top of her lungs. She’s in kindergarten. Where in the world did she even hear that? FML
Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML
Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML
Today, I was so tired this morning when I went to take a dump and instead of using a baby wipe, I used a Lysol wipe. Guess I don’t have Covid up my butt. FML
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
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Top comments
TheTehOhPeh 4
I can't even imagine how painful that would be... Dear god...
bryyxoo 0
Bleach kills everything right? No? Oh...
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Comments (234)
armywife0609 4
OMG that made me literally cringe ouch
DJD3STRO 0
Last time I checked they changed it to STI
DJD3STRO 0
Since no one is commenting I think I will on my own post
DocBastard 40
"They" changed it? Who exactly is this "they" who calls them STIs? I've never met a single doctor who calls them STIs rather than STDs.
silentaura 0
It's called an STI if it's curable... If it isn't then it's still an STD
DocBastard 40
No. No. No! STD and STI are interchangeable terms. There's no ******* difference!
bitchy_bitch 0
They are both the same. Health departments prefer to call the STIs because they are mainly infections.
lachiqitalinda 0
This is honestly sad, she must have been really scared and hopefull that bleach would solve the problem:(
mintstashinurtea 5
the only sad part is people like you who actually feel sorry for the stupid idiot.
Colonel_Lexi 18
97, what if she was raped and was too ashamed to tell her mother about it so she tried to remove the evidence out of panic?
mintstashinurtea 5
that's very possible, however you can still make a better choice (even while in a panic) than Clorox.
french_vulpix 19
You deserve it for not teaching your daughter how to take care of herself. This is why parents need to talk to their children about sexual health, not just explain how babies are made. Comfortable, open communication is invaluable.
atomica96 0
Wow your really stupid. Common sense would tell you that you shouldnt put stuff like that there. Hell, there are warnings on the freaking products. Quit blaming parents for dumb shit kids do. You dumbasses make me sick
kittenvks 11
"wow your really stupid" I love it :)
bubo_fml 11
Imagine what'll go down with suitor #2..."Here Sweetie, before we begin, why don't you polish up that knob with a Clorox Bleach Towelette?" (Would make a great advert, eh readers?)
poohbear1816 4
omg which is more painful the clorox and scrub or the std ydi for not admitting it in the first place
rox13_fml 0
That brings a whole other meaning to the saying, "catch something Ajax won't scrub off"....
isis_morrigan 18
lol I was wondering when someone was gonna say this!
yellowzinnias 20
Soooo many of y'all are not very bright. You have no idea what these parents told her or didn't tell her. Or what type of sex education she got or didn't get. Sometimes you can do EVERYTHING right and kids still do exactly what they want to do: having sex, having a lot of sex and having sex without protection. And the girl didn't think the bleach would cure her STD, people. She was trying to come up with an alternate reason for the rash to get her mother to take her to the doctor. Please, PLEASE tell me you all are too busy on the internet to reproduce...
GoW_Chick 15
Psh. I can be on the Internet and still reproduce. Multitasking! ;)
mintstashinurtea 5
All of the "not very bright" people on here combined couldn't come close to the level of stupidity of this persons daughter.
isis_morrigan 18
right, and how is she gonna explain the greenish discharge, horrible smell, and/or sores? (pick any combination of symptoms) I think your level of intelligence is right there with ops daughter...wait, are u ops daughter? since you explained her rationale for her stupidity, which was almost as retarded as the act itself...
iveanne 0
I would say that it sucks to be you, but then again you raised the dumbass!!
VeeEight 5
Dumb kid deserves it if she can't even protect her self. Prophylactics are easy to come by and are much cheaper ( not to mention less embarrassing ) than going to to docs! Definitely fyl op, for having to deal with such a dumb kid!