Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as a nurse, I had to tell a 15 year-old girl that her red, sore asscrack was caused by consistently not wiping her ass properly. Seriously, when I examined her there was still poop, even though she swore she wiped this morning. I had to teach her how to do it properly, at 15 years-old. FML
Today, I went to the OBGYN for my annual, and noticed they now supplied babywipes. After 3 seconds of "cleaning", the intense burning started. Turns out they were antibacterial bleach wipes. FML
Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML
Today, I've been having persistent fungal infections and was getting treated by a male gynecologist. I had to go in to give vaginal swab tests. I washed and cleaned before I left, but when I got on the doctor's table I already had so much discharge. The doctor asked, "Is it the medicine?" I had to say no. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my daughter’s school. Apparently she stood on top of a table and screamed, “I HAVE SYPHILIS” at the top of her lungs. She’s in kindergarten. Where in the world did she even hear that? FML
Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML
Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML
Today, I was so tired this morning when I went to take a dump and instead of using a baby wipe, I used a Lysol wipe. Guess I don’t have Covid up my butt. FML
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
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Top comments
TheTehOhPeh 4
I can't even imagine how painful that would be... Dear god...
bryyxoo 0
Bleach kills everything right? No? Oh...
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Comments (234)
chelsinator 8
And all of you saying how bad it would burn must have STDs? I'm just sayin..
mintstashinurtea 5
or perhaps, they mean THE BLEACH would burn...just saying.
KandieCandy 4
I don't blame her, if I were her and I caught an STD, I would do the same thing.
mintstashinurtea 5
... -_- .......
CaptainPickles72 18
Congratulations #83, you just admitted to the internet that you're stupid! If you ever catch and STD (though I hope you don't, I would never even wish that on my worst enemy) please try to use the Clorox wipe method and send me a video of you reaction.
kittenvks 11
This puts a new meaning on having shit Ajax can't take off rofl
FIRESTARTER97 3
U should have told her to use a CONDOM
mama2b3 20
I've never heard anything like this before. That's ridiculous.
misfitmonroe 4
So, either way it still burned. Yikes..
sharkeiyy 0
That great at least she wont do it again (:
tom_es 3
You better start talking to her and being open about the staff of life...otherwise you will have her in big trouble soon. Make sure she knows you are available with no judging.
Colonel_Lexi 18
Yes, OP's daughter made a stupid mistake and tried to fix it with an even dumber solution but that doesn't mean she is stupid; she was scared, poor kid didn't know what to do or what she had gotten herself into. Stop judging others before you know the entire situation, for all you know OP's daughter could've been raped and was too ashamed or frightened to tell her mother about it(hopefully this is just a hypothetical).
justanotherhuman 21
^^^ this. Always give benefit of doubt before knowing all the facts. Especially when it comes to sex.
mintstashinurtea 5
congratulations!! you've raised a complete dumbass!