Health: Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter....

By Anonymous - 27/01/2012 22:03 - United States

Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML

agreeclassic 35 160

vote type 1 3 941

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Kids these days…

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 14:00

Today, as a nurse, I had to tell a 15 year-old girl that her red, sore asscrack was caused by consistently not wiping her ass properly. Seriously, when I examined her there was still poop, even though she swore she wiped this morning. I had to teach her how to do it properly, at 15 years-old. FML

agreeclassic 722

vote type 1 132

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 03:09 - United States

Today, I went to the OBGYN for my annual, and noticed they now supplied babywipes. After 3 seconds of "cleaning", the intense burning started. Turns out they were antibacterial bleach wipes. FML

agreeclassic 11 059

vote type 1 32 429

Oh, hai Mark!

By lyle - 02/04/2021 08:00

Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML

agreeclassic 907

vote type 1 208

Gushing

By NotCream - 04/10/2025 15:00

Today, I've been having persistent fungal infections and was getting treated by a male gynecologist. I had to go in to give vaginal swab tests. I washed and cleaned before I left, but when I got on the doctor's table I already had so much discharge. The doctor asked, "Is it the medicine?" I had to say no. FML

agreeclassic 400

vote type 1 98

She's 28

By beelover97 - 28/05/2022 18:00

Today, I got a phone call from my daughter’s school. Apparently she stood on top of a table and screamed, “I HAVE SYPHILIS” at the top of her lungs. She’s in kindergarten. Where in the world did she even hear that? FML

agreeclassic 932

vote type 1 149

By rkl2010 - 23/05/2010 18:02 - United States

Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML

agreeclassic 28 482

vote type 1 3 460

By momlife - 28/03/2016 20:45 - Canada - Ajax

Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML

agreeclassic 19 132

vote type 1 2 093

Kills 99% of all bacteria

By Anonymous - 17/02/2022 22:00

Today, I was so tired this morning when I went to take a dump and instead of using a baby wipe, I used a Lysol wipe. Guess I don’t have Covid up my butt. FML

agreeclassic 708

vote type 1 384

By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

agreeclassic 36 894

vote type 1 5 250

By lk07 - 03/11/2018 05:00

Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML

agreeclassic 2 780

vote type 1 343

TheTehOhPeh 4

Saturday 28 January 2012 0:44

I can't even imagine how painful that would be... Dear god...

bryyxoo 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 0:45

Bleach kills everything right? No? Oh...

Comments

Not_You_Again 15

Monday 30 January 2012 3:49

They are called STI's now. They are infections rather than dieseases alot of them.

Brak_Spaceman 19

Monday 30 January 2012 17:29

LOL

taytay7878 0

Monday 30 January 2012 23:22

Wow I can't imagine how much that would hurt

rdsxrl55 1

Tuesday 31 January 2012 18:21

natural selection at it's finest.

johnnyboy182 7

Sunday 26 February 2012 22:32

Mr. Clean magic eraser ftw

shinshoku13 19

Friday 20 April 2012 21:04

Wow...

Parisgirl34 12

Tuesday 5 June 2012 20:55

wow

nachosbabygurl 9

Friday 19 October 2012 5:37

she's young n got scared we all do stupid things

cl4ptp 18

Saturday 29 December 2012 6:29

Get a pregnancy test while you're at it.

fuzz97 23

Friday 23 August 2013 7:05

you're daughter's a hooooooooooor

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML

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vote type 1 7 080

Today, I found that my boyfriend and his friend sends nudes of other girls to each other and then comment on them. When I confronted him, I was told that I was wrong for being upset "because this is just what men do". FML

agreeclassic 1 350

vote type 1 242

Today, I was halfway through eating a what I though was a delicious sandwich, when I turned it over and saw nasty green mold on the bread. FML

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Today, my mom tried to keep her boyfriend from indiscriminately devouring my personal things in the fridge. So, instead of just sticking a note with my name on them, the lids of my jars of homemade pesto are now decorated in sharpie with a motif of “NO! DO NOT EAT!” FML

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vote type 1 133

Today, I thought it would be funny to mow a dick into my grandmother's lawn, but the mower leaked gasoline and now there's a giant dead grass outline. FML

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Today, I found out that the "school after you graduate" meme is true. When I was there, only one of the classrooms had AC. Now they all do. Additionally, a bunch of particularly ineffectual teachers got sacked. I missed out on being around adults with spines and brains and not being cooked alive every day. FML

agreeclassic 385

vote type 1 107