Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML
Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML
Today, I volunteered at a 50 km trail race for charity and was at the service of a walker. It was fun until after the walk was completed, when he made me take off his boots and socks, and massage his big, super stinky, sweaty bare feet. His putrid feet were inches from my face the entire time. FML
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, I had to train a new guy whose body odor was killing me. After he'd left, I had to run two industry size fans to blow the stench out of my office. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, I started my job as a waiter. I was excited when my first customer paid for the bill. I go over to the table, half-expecting a tip. I got to the table and no money was on the table. On the bottom receipt was written: "Ever heard of deodorant?" Apparently I smell bad. Thanks for the tip. FML
Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML
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Top comments
ilikerainbows 0
i think i just threw up a little in my mouth
pancakes_n_syrup 0
Gross...that's why I will never be a masseuse
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Comments (188)
housemd1120 0
The fungus was a health concern. Once you noticed it, you shouldnt have had to continue the massage because of the possibility of it spreading to you and other clients. Thats disgusting. And #2, stfu. Youre probably obese with fungus too.
Jekka 0
Fungus is a contraindication and you probably shouldn't have massaged them... you should have known better, as a Massage Therapist.
WiredTechnician 26
What are you trying to say? Like seriously I can't read that. (correction sorry, my brain had a huge fart and screwed up the first word as contradiction my mistake!)
Horde 8
At better places, it's mandatory to take a shower before the massage.. I bet the OP would appreciate a similar rule XD
BOLLOX 0
*barks in own mouth*
whichdirection 2
woof?
tony1891 22
the joys of cell phone auto erect.... correct
brodizzle 0
arf!
i_like_chicks 0
FYL haha yeah i'd rather work in a factory than massage fat peoples' feet
funplex 0
Yummy. Did you scrape some off? I hear fungus makes a nice pasta garnish.
yourpathetic 0
Sounds like you had fun with that fattso. LOL Maybe he or she, whatever the **** it is will come back and see you again. YDI for giving the massage to the d bag when he had fungus.
Tehalon 0
Uhg, fat people in general.. i feel your pain :(
AndreaKina 0
okayyyy if you really dont like your job, quit. It's better than whining about it. YDI for choosing a job that disgusts you.
hilda_kitty 16
this job porobably doesn't disgust OP, the obese lady with her smelly fungus does.