Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML
Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML
Today, I volunteered at a 50 km trail race for charity and was at the service of a walker. It was fun until after the walk was completed, when he made me take off his boots and socks, and massage his big, super stinky, sweaty bare feet. His putrid feet were inches from my face the entire time. FML
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, I had to train a new guy whose body odor was killing me. After he'd left, I had to run two industry size fans to blow the stench out of my office. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, I started my job as a waiter. I was excited when my first customer paid for the bill. I go over to the table, half-expecting a tip. I got to the table and no money was on the table. On the bottom receipt was written: "Ever heard of deodorant?" Apparently I smell bad. Thanks for the tip. FML
Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML
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Top comments
ilikerainbows 0
i think i just threw up a little in my mouth
pancakes_n_syrup 0
Gross...that's why I will never be a masseuse
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Comments (188)
anon_anon_anon 1
That is horrible O_o I feel for you I trained as a masseuse too...
MxTori 0
ews
snoopy24_fml 0
obesity is gross... :(
koolkat27 13
ignorant asses like yourself are gross.
menelie 0
Try rubbing cooking vanilla into your hands. :)
sneakersneaker 0
Fat people are the worst. Can't you refuse a customer if they're... you know... disgusting?
ndvorsky 4
I think you can get sued if you refuse them
damoki 8
You have to have a better reason than "I think your gross" but yea as a therapist you can refuse to treat anyone you're not comfortable working on
poolshark 0
haha @ "barks in own mouth" and "arf" response!
MissNae 0
Shouldn't you have been able to decline on an Occupational Health and Safety basis? You poor thing that is disgusting! I also think you should put the price up for obese people as there is triple the surface area and you are doing triple the work.
000001 0
Didn't you wear surgical gloves?
Rodjmeister 0
rubbing alcohol as massage oil. win?
ilovemycats 0
Why should you EXPECT a tip at all? You're already getting paid for the service, but now you want more on top of it? If you want more than that, set your prices higher. Also, YDI for choosing a job that you KNOW you will be working with a lot of different people, not all of them squeaky clean models. I wouldn't care so much about "disgusting obese people" as I would "nasty hairy men."
bntilley 2
you're an idiot, that's the same train of thought that people have that only leave a server a dollar tip on a big check. you always tip based on percentage of the original price. why is that so hard to understand?
shuzzey 1
But it's not really a tip if you're expected to pay it... They may as well add it onto the price. I think you should only tip if the server deserves it
WiredTechnician 26
What you're neglecting for servers is that most don't make minimum wage because it isn't required if they are allowed tips. Some of my server friends were making 2.38 an hour without tips.