Today, I had to address a flatulence issue with an employee. Other employees are complaining about the smell. I have to continue addressing the issue until it stops. So far, I've talked to her about it 4 times. No end in sight. FML
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Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML
Today, I’m stuck in a small office with a colleague with one of the worst cases of BO I’ve ever come across. He has already been spoken to about it, and I’m developing a nauseous headache from the stench. FML
Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML
Today, another employee scolded me for being "socially awkward". The same employee who just before had a 10 minute discussion with a client about her poop. FML
Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach ache and had some pretty bad gas at work. I tried to head down to the basement for a while to allow my coworkers to continue in peace. About an hour after I came back up, my boss called pest control due to the horrible smell that "must be dead rats". FML
Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML
Today, my officemate used the telephone beside my desk again. I still can't think of a better way to tell him how awful bad his breath is without the having to do it personally. We've been workmates for a year now and he still hasn't gotten a clue, despite of me covering my nose every time. FML
Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML
Today, there was an issue with the sewage system at work. It smelled like somebody took a turd, left it in the sun to marinate, threw up on it, then put in the air conditioning to fill the store with nauseating stink. I nearly threw up multiple times because we weren't allowed to leave early. FML
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Top comments
eog314 0
that stinks
A7X_LoVeee 10
Contact Boners and he'll hook her up with his assortment of butt plugs.
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Comments (158)
darkness4dummies 0
make her work by the bathroom
chasin_butterfli 0
or by the exhaust fan.
BigOrca 2
My wife has to coach people at her place of work cuz they have landing strips on there pants. she tells me when she is grossed out at work.
chengy4191 7
tell her she smells like shit already and cut the polite bs!
DjeePee 25
I know there is some kind of disease that makes people constantly fart...there might be a cure for it, let her go to a doctor. If she's just farting for the pleasure of doing so, well, get mad at her.
HannahLouise96 13
Most appropriate profile picture ever....
0opsie 6
Can't you recommend some Gas-X or something? Or tell her to go to a doctor if it's that bad.
mattman154 0
Sometimes excessive flatulence is caused by certain medical issues.
TheBeatlesAreLov 0
Said certain medical issues are not incurable. Prescribe that bitch some Beano! There'll be no gas!
Mystery_Machete 2
Next time, get her to say "You two have been a thorn in my side long enough!" and I'll zing her into space. Remember: Thorn. Side.
SadinSherman 16
Maybe she can't help it
leemurcat 5
Buy her some Pepto or something.
psychwardnurse 0
that's for upset stomach/nausea, dumbass. what she needs is some beano!
tnlander 20
Have a public staff meeting and address it then. She will either be embarrassed and stop or the other employees will be emboldened to address it themselves. Either way your problem is solved.
batummshakalaka 1
you'd be a horrible boss.
gabe2014 0
she will be embarrassed and stop? you think she's farting on purpose? most people that fart don't fart on purpose. nor can they 'stop' whenever they want. why do u think he/she has asked her many times to stop?