Today, I had to address a flatulence issue with an employee. Other employees are complaining about the smell. I have to continue addressing the issue until it stops. So far, I've talked to her about it 4 times. No end in sight. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML
Today, I’m stuck in a small office with a colleague with one of the worst cases of BO I’ve ever come across. He has already been spoken to about it, and I’m developing a nauseous headache from the stench. FML
Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML
Today, another employee scolded me for being "socially awkward". The same employee who just before had a 10 minute discussion with a client about her poop. FML
Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach ache and had some pretty bad gas at work. I tried to head down to the basement for a while to allow my coworkers to continue in peace. About an hour after I came back up, my boss called pest control due to the horrible smell that "must be dead rats". FML
Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML
Today, my officemate used the telephone beside my desk again. I still can't think of a better way to tell him how awful bad his breath is without the having to do it personally. We've been workmates for a year now and he still hasn't gotten a clue, despite of me covering my nose every time. FML
Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML
Today, there was an issue with the sewage system at work. It smelled like somebody took a turd, left it in the sun to marinate, threw up on it, then put in the air conditioning to fill the store with nauseating stink. I nearly threw up multiple times because we weren't allowed to leave early. FML
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Top comments
eog314 0
that stinks
A7X_LoVeee 10
Contact Boners and he'll hook her up with his assortment of butt plugs.
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Comments (158)
laurad420 0
how about you bring some gas x to work
WhatWhatInTheBut_fml 5
Whoever smelt it delt it :)
xo_kat_xo 0
her?!? damn!!
invicta8926 0
They make stuff for gas. Buy her a bottle.
OfficeNinja 5
at my last job, I went into the boss's office to fart. I even started to refer to it as "the fart chamber" when I needed the door unlocked because the boss was away. I don't know what that has to do with your FML, unless you are the boss and the smelly employee reads this....
fordman21 0
queefasaurus rex!
portablecupid 3
farts and queefs arent the same thing dude.
fordman21 0
have you ever smelt a queef from the queefasaurus rex? its the most rancid horrible thing ever. it makes fat bastard from austin powers look good. the queefasaurus rex is such a foul and disgusting creature. it sits on it lays on its back all day queefing and emiting the discusting odder the OP has a problem with. the only way to deal with queefasaurus is to plug up the hole from which the smell is coming from. before putting the plug in, you should shove a few cans of queef be gone up her queef hole, then take an enlarged butt plug, smear it with superglue and jam that sucker right up that queef hole. thats the only way to deal with queefasaurus. i promise itll work.
SteelCladAngel 0
she may have some sort of legitimate health issue and can't help but fart
iwadasn 33
Even if she does have a health issue, she doesn't need to just sit there and fart in the midst of everyone. She can do it in the bathroom instead.
odexy 12
I'm pretty sure she would get in more trouble making frequent trips to the bathroom.
Vitamin_C 0
iwadasn, people who have the misfortune of being afflicted with Crohn's, IBS or other gastric diseases would love the opportunity to hide all the mortifying noises that emanate from their orifices but don't have that ability. It's not something you can control, and the stress of being "addressed" at work certainly doesn't help things along.
j_cat187 20
had a friend with those sort of issues i felt bad for what sabrina menioned so sorry kyle
iwadasn 33
Vitamin C, they don't have the ability to walk to the bathroom? It's really not that hard. And taking frequent bathroom trips would be better than forcing everyone else in the office to suffer along with her.
lisha88 1
now that's funky tell her stop eating beans and cheese
5upernova 3
If she can control it and does it on purpose, she is just being a jerk. But if she cannot control it due to some health issues, it is not her fault. If it is the latter, I will be upset as a fellow co-worker, but if it is possible to have her work in a corner or something, that might help. I had a classmate who would always burp, and it was rather gross because she saw no wrong with it. Okay, it is okay to burp, but she did not bother covering her mouth, and she will do it openly in front of your face. When other classmates and I tell her that is disgusting, she goes, "What?" as though it is totally acceptable to do that to others.
froufrou7 3
ta yeule toer calisse...
RayRayIII 0
smells like a shitty work place