Today, I had to address a flatulence issue with an employee. Other employees are complaining about the smell. I have to continue addressing the issue until it stops. So far, I've talked to her about it 4 times. No end in sight. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML
Today, I’m stuck in a small office with a colleague with one of the worst cases of BO I’ve ever come across. He has already been spoken to about it, and I’m developing a nauseous headache from the stench. FML
Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML
Today, another employee scolded me for being "socially awkward". The same employee who just before had a 10 minute discussion with a client about her poop. FML
Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach ache and had some pretty bad gas at work. I tried to head down to the basement for a while to allow my coworkers to continue in peace. About an hour after I came back up, my boss called pest control due to the horrible smell that "must be dead rats". FML
Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML
Today, my officemate used the telephone beside my desk again. I still can't think of a better way to tell him how awful bad his breath is without the having to do it personally. We've been workmates for a year now and he still hasn't gotten a clue, despite of me covering my nose every time. FML
Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML
Today, there was an issue with the sewage system at work. It smelled like somebody took a turd, left it in the sun to marinate, threw up on it, then put in the air conditioning to fill the store with nauseating stink. I nearly threw up multiple times because we weren't allowed to leave early. FML
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Top comments
eog314 0
that stinks
A7X_LoVeee 10
Contact Boners and he'll hook her up with his assortment of butt plugs.
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Comments (158)
Cerauno 0
What exactly do you expect her to do, stick a cork up in there?
portablecupid 3
Reminds me of one of my boyfriend's roommates. Stuff just seeps from him 24/7, and no amount of talking to him helps. Nasty.
Coccinelle_fml 15
Well what can she do about it?
sarlovee 0
fire her lol
Magnimus 4
Ever heard of symethicone? Buy her a bottle of pills, and tell her to keep buying that. If she's vegan, that probably has to do a lot with it (ask her about that). And if the rest of your employees keep complaining, you are gonna have to downsize her; but you are gonna have to keep paying her unemployment, so try to work it out with her. It's best to fire one employee, than to have your whole staff quit; but don't fire her without cause. That's not fair, and she'll probably sue you.
adotstud 0
my old manager smelled like sour rag and poop, consider your self lucky.
Dez31396 0
fire the bitch
sueannpalma 7
she might have colitise
fmlmunkey 1
It's possible she might have lactose intolerance. That can give you gas that will kill small animals. You can swallow Beano and anti-gas stuff all you want and it will have no effect. Tell her to have herself tested.
heyred 11
Careful - she might have a protected health condition. Better consult with your company attorney!