Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my new upstairs neighbors moved in. Within ten minutes of getting in the door they were screaming and arguing about everything, practically handing out death threats to each other. I then heard them having even louder makeup sex for about three hours afterwards. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML
Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, after months of peace and quiet since January, a new family moved into the apartment below me ten minutes before I was about to go to sleep. They've been here for 30 minutes and already they're stomping and banging doors all over the place. FML
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Top comments
StoryOfTheYear 15
Free ****?
hannahmorgan06 7
ironic.
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Comments (89)
gmstarry 7
good timing
thiscrazything 1
Yep, that when you turn up the stereo
DomoLaDii 8
hahaha epic win!!!!!! lmao!
perdix 31
Full-blown. FTW. Having sex when you are just partially blown is ok, but it's terrific to get the full-blown treatment from time to time.
blackmetalfan 5
time to go get a different place haha
ellakacyme22 6
you wouldn't know were to turn how embarrassed were you
chelsea3111996 0
Damn.
HomeAl0ne 20
Install an opera singer and a drummer in two other apartments and that should do the trick.
seeb49 7
I wouldn't mind hearing my- oh, wait no, they're in their 90's... Nevermind.
yankfan89 27
Invest in noise canceling headphones.