Love: Today, I got more excited when two Kit-Kat bars fell at once... - FML

By jakewr - 02/07/2011 04:14 - United States

Today, I got more excited when two Kit-Kat bars fell at once in a vending machine than I did when I got married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 334

You deserved it 19 850

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/09/2012 13:38 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 307

You deserved it 5 123

By Wheresthecreamfilling - 03/11/2016 06:03

Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 091

You deserved it 1 898

By anonymous - 05/05/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 378

You deserved it 59 696

By Phoenix0614 - 25/01/2010 05:33 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store, and I realized that all I bought was cat food and $30 worth of protein bars. Yes, I have become THAT single woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 433

You deserved it 7 300

By newlyengaged - 08/01/2017 18:11 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my mother excitedly jumped up and down, announcing that one of her sweet younger coworkers got engaged. I wished she'd had the same reaction to my engagement when I announced it to her a few days earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 861

You deserved it 585

Smooth talker

By Anonymous - 29/05/2021 07:59

Today, instead of my boyfriend calling me his Kit Kat like he normally does, he called me his "Kit Kat Chunky". When I asked him why, he said it's because I'm now 20% chunkier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 295

By Username - 16/12/2011 06:31 - Canada

Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 653

You deserved it 33 226

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 08/05/2021 03:59

Today, my husband excitedly came home from the gun show with a new lower receiver. I, however, had to go back out and get my own birthday cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004

You deserved it 118

By bunintheoven - 23/10/2012 04:21 - United States - Seligman

Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 435

You deserved it 5 102

Damn

By zzzgrady - 27/10/2010 02:46 - United States

Today, after having the worst night of my life, my boss chewing me out and acid reflux all morning, I went to the snack machine at work to get the only thing that makes me happy, Reese's PB cups. I had just enough money to buy the very last one in the machine, and it got stuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 146

You deserved it 4 142

Next

Top comments

DJR_fml 2

Saturday 2 July 2011 11:57

Mmmm kitkats

chefinheels88 5

Saturday 2 July 2011 11:58

I'd reevaluate your marriage

Comments

rainin_menn 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:56

wow

Rix86 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 20:20

Nice. Hah!!! Two for one is awesome!

lovemusic21 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 20:35

I freaking love kit kat!!!

pYrO92583 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 20:41

I hope your wide never reads this cause that's measses up

RyBo80 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 20:48

Kit Kat bars are pretty damn good! It's hard to compare marriage and candy, but I can see how candy could win.

luisdiznutlara 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 20:55

I'm guessing u got married in Facebook

almedalove 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 21:08

hey that would be awesome !!

biancajanine 4

Saturday 2 July 2011 21:40

Duh! that's always the best day of anyones life.. getting 2 things for the price of one in a vending machine.

bbaabobulz 3

Saturday 2 July 2011 21:41

I don't blame you 1) kit kats are AWESOME!!!!! 2) marriage is scary and even if you love this person , the word "marriage" makes the relationship even worst 3)the feeling you cheated the vending machine is awesome

kmg103 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 22:19

well...chocolate rules!

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Keywords

Health Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Family Kids Fight Love Relatable Students Work Animals Birds Sleep Noise Mental health Contraception Medication Racism Cheating Pregnancy Relationship advice Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Intimacy Sex Food Revenge Cats

The Top

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

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Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 729

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I agree, your life sucks 42 475

You deserved it 3 142

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I agree, your life sucks 63 494

You deserved it 3 389

Today, my husband and I decided to get a little frisky in bed. After we were done we lay spent on our bed then only to hear weird noises coming from our doorway. To our surprise not only had our daughter taken her first steps but has been watching and now making the noises as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 165

You deserved it 26 714

Today, I had to sit through yet another one of my mom's, "You need to grow and gain some weight!" rants. I'm 22 and she doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm done growing. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting past 5'2". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 896

You deserved it 3 798