Miscellaneous: Dr Who

Dr Who

By llamaborn - 05/04/2021 14:00

Today, at the age of 21, I learned that the phrase, “A stitch in time saves nine” is not about traveling back in time and saving nine people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 729

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Useful information of the day

By billy - 27/04/2021 08:01

Today, I learned that "unskilled labor" does not mean people who are bad at their jobs. I’m 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 974

The longest monologue

By Anonymous - 29/11/2012 00:57 - Canada - Belleville

Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 121

You deserved it 1 715

By Insensitive - 15/04/2009 16:17 - United States

Today, I was talking on my mobile and walking into a grocery store saying, quite loudly, "Time heals all wounds!" right as I passed a woman with significant burns covering her face. I guess I was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 424

You deserved it 53 590

Getting on

By Kelly - 05/07/2022 22:00

Today, I learned the hard way that age is not just a number when I completely threw out my back while sitting on the ground, gently tossing a ball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 104

By TatooFAIL - 06/10/2009 14:38 - United States

Today, I found out that the phrase I got tattooed on my lower back is misspelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 282

You deserved it 67 785

By Medfail - 20/06/2016 07:13 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, at the age of 27, I learnt that your tonsils aren't the dangly bit at the back of your throat. I work in healthcare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 656

You deserved it 13 693

Soiled

By Anonymous - 11/02/2023 22:00

Today, I learned what the phrase "Never trust a far", is all about. I spent several minutes trying to wash my filthy underwear in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 329

By oww - 09/03/2010 11:14 - United States

Today, I learned not to jump off a stage if nobody is going to catch you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 235

You deserved it 38 260

By mudy247 - 27/04/2017 20:00

Today, it took me longer than it should have with a bit of calculations to remember how old I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 430

You deserved it 860

By Anonymous - 17/04/2014 23:24 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, after ten years, our sewing machine broke. My mom tried to return it back to the store she bought it from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 735

You deserved it 4 127

cuz803 44

Monday 5 April 2021 17:34

At this rate, you'll understand these phrases till the cows come home

Glitterbaby2613 20

Monday 5 April 2021 16:35

no it just means that it is better to fix a problem when it is small than to wait and let it become a bigger problem.

Comments

Glitterbaby2613 20

Monday 5 April 2021 16:35

no it just means that it is better to fix a problem when it is small than to wait and let it become a bigger problem.

cuz803 44

Monday 5 April 2021 17:34

At this rate, you'll understand these phrases till the cows come home

Plop 17

Tuesday 6 April 2021 4:11

Did you mean "Till the cows come home to roost"?

Nhayaa2.0 17

Tuesday 6 April 2021 5:53

That's funny. In french we say "Quand les poules auront des dents", meaning "When hens have teeth".

BurnInDemonFire 33

Monday 5 April 2021 17:56

Forget the adage, what the hell led you to believe humans can travel back in time?

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The Top

Today, after spending at least two hours on the phone every day for the past week, my health insurer I pay a huge monthly premium to agreed to cover my life-sustaining insulin. But they won't contribute to the cost until after I've paid an unaffordable deductible first. I'm going to die even though I'm insured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 81

Today, I threw an elaborate surprise birthday party for my boyfriend of four years. He thought we were going to a quiet dinner but when we arrived, thirty of his friends jumped out and surprised him. Instead of kissing me to thank me, he broke up with me because of how easily I had lied to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 717

You deserved it 4 756

The Top

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 356

You deserved it 34 926

Today, I failed my driving test. The examiner insisted I that didn't check a junction before pulling out. I did, he just didn't notice because he was too busy staring at my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 190

You deserved it 5 243

Today, after weeks of being up nights to hand feed nine puppies, I, an insomniac, finally got to sleep during the day, which isn't easy for me, only to be woken by my partner asking me a stupid question that was unimportant, then made to feel like a jerk for being angry. I'm now stuck awake, pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 190

Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 685

You deserved it 8 612

Today, my boyfriend came over to cheer me up after I'd had a sleepless night. He thought it would be a good time to propose. Unfortunately, it coincided with me yawning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 039

You deserved it 5 126

Today, my dad got dressed up in formal clothes, and I asked what the occasion was. He said he had a hot date, which would've been fine if he hadn't told me what was "on the menu", namely "wining, dining, sixty-nining". Thanks for that image. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 754

You deserved it 2 182