Miscellaneous: Dr Who

Dr Who

By llamaborn - 05/04/2021 14:00

Today, at the age of 21, I learned that the phrase, “A stitch in time saves nine” is not about traveling back in time and saving nine people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 770

Fête Nationale: Fireworks and Faux Pas
Celebrate the nation with stories where it's not just fireworks that sparkle! More…

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Same thing different taste

Useful information of the day

By billy - 27/04/2021 08:01

Today, I learned that "unskilled labor" does not mean people who are bad at their jobs. I’m 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 1 011

The longest monologue

By Anonymous - 29/11/2012 00:57 - Canada - Belleville

Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 137

You deserved it 1 724

By TatooFAIL - 06/10/2009 14:38 - United States

Today, I found out that the phrase I got tattooed on my lower back is misspelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 292

You deserved it 67 827

By Medfail - 20/06/2016 07:13 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, at the age of 27, I learnt that your tonsils aren't the dangly bit at the back of your throat. I work in healthcare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 665

You deserved it 13 722

By oww - 09/03/2010 11:14 - United States

Today, I learned not to jump off a stage if nobody is going to catch you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 240

You deserved it 38 296

By mudy247 - 27/04/2017 20:00

Today, it took me longer than it should have with a bit of calculations to remember how old I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 442

You deserved it 882

By Anonymous - 17/04/2014 23:24 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, after ten years, our sewing machine broke. My mom tried to return it back to the store she bought it from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 749

You deserved it 4 132

Indoctrinated

By workfordayzz - 14/05/2014 17:45 - United States

Today, I realized that because of my construction job, I have spent such a huge amount of time with older, cynical guys that I keep uncontrollably using the phrase "fucking kids these days" regularly like an idiot. I'm 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 318

You deserved it 8 965

Bad time for a joke

By Demotivation - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Germany

Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 286

You deserved it 12 848

By oink oink fuck off - 29/07/2012 18:49 - United Kingdom - Doncaster

Today, my son got to my great grandfather's old stopwatch, which had been valued at a very high sum, and broke it by twisting the hands in reverse. He says he was trying to time travel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 970

You deserved it 3 722

cuz803 44

Monday 5 April 2021 17:34

At this rate, you'll understand these phrases till the cows come home

Glitterbaby2613 20

Monday 5 April 2021 16:35

no it just means that it is better to fix a problem when it is small than to wait and let it become a bigger problem.

Comments

Glitterbaby2613 20

Monday 5 April 2021 16:35

no it just means that it is better to fix a problem when it is small than to wait and let it become a bigger problem.

cuz803 44

Monday 5 April 2021 17:34

At this rate, you'll understand these phrases till the cows come home

Plop 17

Tuesday 6 April 2021 4:11

Did you mean "Till the cows come home to roost"?

Nhayaa2.0 17

Tuesday 6 April 2021 5:53

That's funny. In french we say "Quand les poules auront des dents", meaning "When hens have teeth".

BurnInDemonFire 35

Monday 5 April 2021 17:56

Forget the adage, what the hell led you to believe humans can travel back in time?

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The Top

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 123

You deserved it 476 231

Today, I got screamed at by my mom for about 10 minutes because she claims I’m ruining my diet by drinking sparkling water, claiming it’s “soda”. I had to explain that it has zero sugar, calories, etc. She told me that it’s “the same fucking shit.” And to not trust “the government food labels.” Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 154

The Top

Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 071

You deserved it 3 919

Today, I was struggling through small-talk at a party where I knew nobody. Tattoos came up and I started talking about trendy, girly tattoos like feathers, anchors and infinity signs with stupid words in them. Turns out the girl I was talking to had all three. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 462

You deserved it 12 112

Today, I went to pull a nose hair out, only to end up pulling a spider out by its legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 283

You deserved it 107

Today, I realized why I never hear my voice echoing when I sing to my boyfriend on Skype; he just mutes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 735

You deserved it 12 048

Today, my quite squeamish girlfriend came with me to get my latest tattoo. She saw a few drops of blood, screamed in the tattooist's ear, and completely fucked up part of the outline. She had to alter the tattoo drastically to cover up the mess and now it just looks bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 530

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. I had cooked him a romantic meal and we were planning on eating it in front of the fire. This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney. My entire basement filled with smoke and didn't clear for three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 638

You deserved it 28 888