Today, I got more excited when two Kit-Kat bars fell at once in a vending machine than I did when I got married. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML
Today, I was at a wedding. The ceremony was beautiful, right up until the ring bearer tripped. The rings were fine. However, the emergency chocolate bar I'd hidden in my suit pocket for later flew out and landed in front of the bride and groom. Some wedding photos now feature a chocolate bar in the center aisle. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML
Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML
Today, instead of my boyfriend calling me 'his Kit Kat' like he normally does, he called me his 'Kit Kat Chunky.' When I asked him why, he said it's because I'm now 20% chunkier. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store, and I realized that all I bought was cat food and $30 worth of protein bars. Yes, I have become THAT single woman. FML
Today, my mother excitedly jumped up and down, announcing that one of her sweet younger coworkers got engaged. I wished she'd had the same reaction to my engagement when I announced it to her a few days earlier. FML
Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML
Today, my husband excitedly came home from the gun show with a new lower receiver. I, however, had to go back out and get my own birthday cake. FML
Today, I spent way too long battling a vending machine that ate my dollar but didn’t give me my snack. After shaking it, kicking it, and practically hugging it, I finally gave up. As I walked away in defeat, it dropped the snack. I rushed back to claim my prize… and the janitor grabbed it before I could. FML
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Top comments
DJR_fml 2
Mmmm kitkats
chefinheels88 5
I'd reevaluate your marriage
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Comments (169)
linnypoo 0
I call shenanigans! I saw a comic almost identical to this on Memebase last week.. "people who say having babies is the joy of life clearly haven't gotten 2 kitkats at once.." or something. Get original material.
jutyjaty 9
all men know that women dont love them, they love snacks. like cup cakes, a guy brings home cup cake and her eyes light up, he says " I love you" and she says it back. he then says "I wish I could believe you. but I see the way you look at cup cakes."
brookie_bear 0
hahahaha. its true. deep down we are all just a bunch of fatties :)
M0rt 0
Put the candy down and think about your sad life?
moonhead131_fml 0
I must say, that is kinda sad...
moonhead131_fml 0
I must say, that is kinda sad...
b_rowe55 0
wtf...?
Alysin 14
I've seen an FML like this before, plus your name has 1996 in it..
chrisg2001 3
om nom nom lol
prettybirdq 0
FAKE! **** people are lazy and stupid. This is an adaptation of a lamebook status.