Love: Today, I got more excited when two Kit-Kat bars fell at once...

By jakewr - 02/07/2011 04:14 - United States

Today, I got more excited when two Kit-Kat bars fell at once in a vending machine than I did when I got married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 334

You deserved it 19 850

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/09/2012 13:38 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 307

You deserved it 5 123

By Wheresthecreamfilling - 03/11/2016 06:03

Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 091

You deserved it 1 898

By anonymous - 05/05/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 378

You deserved it 59 696

By Phoenix0614 - 25/01/2010 05:33 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store, and I realized that all I bought was cat food and $30 worth of protein bars. Yes, I have become THAT single woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 433

You deserved it 7 300

By newlyengaged - 08/01/2017 18:11 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my mother excitedly jumped up and down, announcing that one of her sweet younger coworkers got engaged. I wished she'd had the same reaction to my engagement when I announced it to her a few days earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 861

You deserved it 585

Smooth talker

By Anonymous - 29/05/2021 07:59

Today, instead of my boyfriend calling me his Kit Kat like he normally does, he called me his "Kit Kat Chunky". When I asked him why, he said it's because I'm now 20% chunkier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 295

By Username - 16/12/2011 06:31 - Canada

Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 653

You deserved it 33 226

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 08/05/2021 03:59

Today, my husband excitedly came home from the gun show with a new lower receiver. I, however, had to go back out and get my own birthday cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004

You deserved it 118

By bunintheoven - 23/10/2012 04:21 - United States - Seligman

Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 435

You deserved it 5 102

Damn

By zzzgrady - 27/10/2010 02:46 - United States

Today, after having the worst night of my life, my boss chewing me out and acid reflux all morning, I went to the snack machine at work to get the only thing that makes me happy, Reese's PB cups. I had just enough money to buy the very last one in the machine, and it got stuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 146

You deserved it 4 142

DJR_fml 2

Saturday 2 July 2011 11:57

Mmmm kitkats

chefinheels88 5

Saturday 2 July 2011 11:58

I'd reevaluate your marriage

Comments

UnderArmourPro 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 14:25

You seem like a real arse..

meso222 8

Monday 8 April 2013 17:30

Getting married happens all the time these days... A free candy bar is getting more and more difficult to get withh all their new machines.

titmouselax 1

Saturday 2 July 2011 14:42

fatty

labola26 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 14:53

I wouldn't blame you, Kit-Kat bars are delicious. :) mmmmmmmmmm.

NeverShoutDana 13

Saturday 2 July 2011 15:31

Maybe if he proposed with Kit-Kats it would've been different..

colombiano_juan 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 15:31

fat ass!!

EmilyFelton98 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 15:32

Kit-Kats Are Freaking Amazing... Not Blaming You Their Tasty...

itsgen 16

Saturday 2 July 2011 15:43

lol i know right!? i wish i had double the kit kat

metallicshadow 16

Saturday 2 July 2011 15:56

who can blame you...kit kats are awesome!

HoeFoShow 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 15:59

KitKats are my favorite. wouldnt blame u

brookie_bear 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 15:59

Cant say i blame him. Twix bars are better than sex :))

Person1233 12

Saturday 2 July 2011 16:00

Calm down there...

iWantSprite 12

Saturday 2 July 2011 17:11

Lmao

Keywords

Health Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Fight Family Kids Love Students Relatable Work Animals Birds Sleep Noise Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Cheating Pregnancy Relationship advice Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Sex Intimacy Food Revenge Cats

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I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 101

Today, I asked a girl at work out, who'd claimed she was single. Not ten minutes later, our boss fired me. Turns out that girl is actually his side chick he cheats on his wife with, even though she’s 19 and he’s 48. Not illegal, just scummy as hell, and he fired me out of jealousy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 100

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 194

You deserved it 236

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I agree, your life sucks 2 636

You deserved it 268

Today, during a conversation with my in-laws, I opened up about my insecurities concerning my looks. My mother-in-law responded, "But you're not beautiful." She then repeated it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 092

You deserved it 493

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I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 694

Today, I realized why I've developed painful, flaky, dry patches above my upper lip. It's from kissing my new boyfriend, whose facial hair irritates my skin. He really dislikes how he looks without it, so my best option might be to just stop kissing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 146

Today, I got curious and decided to look for my ex's social media after he blocked me off everything. I found him on LinkedIn and it is only after I click on his profile that I remembered, he will be notified that I looked him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 3 600

Same thing different taste

Smooth talker

Thanks, I hate it

Damn

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