Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up, only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, I came home on crutches. My dog was immediately afraid of them, and came running towards me, growling and barking. She ran right into me, knocking me over. FML
Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML
Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML
Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML
Today, I was running with my sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between my legs and I immediately faceplanted on the cement. I now have a swollen nose and cuts all over my body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts and I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML
Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML
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Top comments
kaitieloo 22
Ultimate douchebag.
transcedental 18
This is the first time I actually say 'Fuuuck' while reading an FML, and I've been around here for years. This is too brutal for a pregnant lady, he should've taken care of you. Sorry, OP, I hope you're alright.
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Comments (218)
ChicKenza 4
True colors showed huh
TaffyJack 8
I physically jolted at the last few words of this FML, please get back to us OP! I would love to know how you and your baby are doing, and whether you're still with your twat of a fiance...
Vegeto30294 19
So we've had parents treating children like crap, possibly severe injuries, 9/11 jokes, sexism, and the community feels bad just because there's a baby involved? Take out the last sentence and no one would be all "divorce the husband, make him sleep on the couch, don't leave the baby alone with him he's not responsible"
cryssycakesx3 22
yes. if it were an FML like "Today I fell, while trying to get up, I fell again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML." no one would care. she obviously didn't fall that hard or damage the baby. people are reacting like the fiancee dropped her to the ground like a melon.
Vegeto30294 19
"Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up, only to be knocked back down again. FML." If it was just that, everyone would be all "lighten up and learn to laugh, it was funny." A few FMLs later someone had an allergic reaction, his throat closed up, and his family laughed. Saw jokes all over that page. This community can be extremely hypocritical sometimes. Especially when relationships are involved.
blackychan63 12
the entire point of this fml is that she was pregnant.
Vegeto30294 19
Yes I know. Baby was in danger, woman could have been injured - Everyone's all serious "ditch the guy, make him sleep outside, DIVORCES EVERYWHERE" Someone's throat closes up, family laughs at him, someone had to help him for his epipen - Everyone makes jokes "Well you survived, couldn't have been that bad" See where I'm going with this?
xRezSynn 15
No sex for him tonight.
meggles4eva 8
im so sorry. you need to talk to your fiancé cuz thats not funny being in your situation. And being pregnant.
papayeya 18
Tue defention of an asshole
Dusty_Busters 15
Oh my god that would be so scary, sorry OP I hope everything is ok.
StickyPickles 33
Total dick move
tadale 10
Well let's see how funny he thinks it is when his name isn't on the birth certificate.
cryssycakesx3 22
Wow that's unnecessarily harsh..
TisAPenguin 16
I really hope this is one of the many FMLs that we later find out isn't as serious as it was made out to be. But, if this is 100% accurate, your fiancé is a douchebag.