Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up, only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, I came home on crutches. My dog was immediately afraid of them, and came running towards me, growling and barking. She ran right into me, knocking me over. FML
Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML
Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML
Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML
Today, I was running with my sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between my legs and I immediately faceplanted on the cement. I now have a swollen nose and cuts all over my body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts and I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML
Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML
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Top comments
kaitieloo 22
Ultimate douchebag.
transcedental 18
This is the first time I actually say 'Fuuuck' while reading an FML, and I've been around here for years. This is too brutal for a pregnant lady, he should've taken care of you. Sorry, OP, I hope you're alright.
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Comments (218)
racoonattack 2
Oh my gosh OP, that is horrible. I'm only 4 months along and this FML made me livid. I hope you're okay, and I hope your baby is okay. Your fiancé is a douchebag; I hope you reemed him out about just laughing at you. :(
PeachiePrincess 16
What an asshole, that could've hurt you and/or the baby.
HAno97 12
Omg what an asshole...
skyeyez9 24
I would think the immense stress you were feeling could cause a pregnant woman to go into preterm labor. Putting the baby as risk for being born 2 months early. Your fiancé is a dick.
buddy_J 16
Who are the ******* dumb asses who clicked you deserve it. How the **** does she deserve it you damn retards
chocolatefrog28 29
What a jackwagon. I hope he came to his senses later and at least apologized, that's beyond not cool.
justmeandmycatss 9
Omg! I hope you feel ok! What I do when a guy has pissed me of completely, I just stare at him and not say a word. It usually works ;D
bubblyhayley 16
this was funny till I new u were pregnant!! how horrible of him!!! hope ur ok
Jst4kicks 16
as funny as this sounds... your fiancée shouldve helped
Allons_y_Girl 3
My husband did the same to me when a wave took me at the beach and kept knocking me over. Men are stupid.