Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up, only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, I came home on crutches. My dog was immediately afraid of them, and came running towards me, growling and barking. She ran right into me, knocking me over. FML
Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML
Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML
Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML
Today, I was running with my sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between my legs and I immediately faceplanted on the cement. I now have a swollen nose and cuts all over my body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts and I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML
Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML
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Top comments
kaitieloo 22
Ultimate douchebag.
transcedental 18
This is the first time I actually say 'Fuuuck' while reading an FML, and I've been around here for years. This is too brutal for a pregnant lady, he should've taken care of you. Sorry, OP, I hope you're alright.
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Comments (218)
jsc9306 14
Oh girl, this is only the beginning of the bullshit. Word of advice... Don't marry him.
Seabeast1000 4
Wow, I hope your child is all human. Not part dog.
LordSatan 4
I'm a dumbass
faireanjell 5
Ex fiancé now?
K2BC 8
What an ass face! I hope he apologized!
lizznichole 3
what she failed to mention that it was probably a teacup yorkie lolol
ayenii 14
You can’t be knocked/bowled over by a dog that isn’t at least lab size. :/ Use your head.
ViviMage 39
Your pregnant body and your unborn should be better protected! That is in part WHY we have partners! Doesn't your guy know you can seriously hurt the baby shoving things into the belly or injuring the mother when she is less able to heal? This is not funny. Think if you want this man around your baby. He needs a stern reality check that he was actually endangering a child. Even an unborn child.
the_real_dvd 21
You let the wrong guy knock you up. He sounds immature, and it doesn't sound like he cares about you or your child enough. Both times my wife was pregnant she got the red carpet treatment. What a woman goes through to bear your seed is the ultimate honor. He doesn't respect that. I'd say give him a swift kick to his junk.
Fiori4 20
Wow... what is up with those 2,000+ people who say she deserved this?! Hope you and your baby are ok OP!
SoulHunter36 16
I was thinking while reading "Just a bit of banter."... until I read 'pregnant'.