Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up, only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, I came home on crutches. My dog was immediately afraid of them, and came running towards me, growling and barking. She ran right into me, knocking me over. FML
Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML
Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML
Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML
Today, I was running with my sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between my legs and I immediately faceplanted on the cement. I now have a swollen nose and cuts all over my body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts and I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML
Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML
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Top comments
kaitieloo 22
Ultimate douchebag.
transcedental 18
This is the first time I actually say 'Fuuuck' while reading an FML, and I've been around here for years. This is too brutal for a pregnant lady, he should've taken care of you. Sorry, OP, I hope you're alright.
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Comments (218)
itsmegandoll 6
That's screwed up. Hope you and the baby are ok OP.
TheTruthIsHarsh 4
Hey... um.... just a general question to the ladies.... why do you all like assholes? Op's man sounds like a douche, and most of you seem to go for assholes like this. Why? Op, hopefully your man wises up or you find someone better.
love_me_electric 20
Nice stereotyping. Not all women are alike you know.
Valiumknights44 12
why are all guys assholes? there's another broad generalization for you!
furbyface711 9
Not only should he have helped you, but the dogs owner should have stopped their dog. You can most likely press charges on the dogs owner.
mdcdeve 10
Well you've got a winning fiancé and dad right there, good luck.
Jennaflamingo 14
That's just cruel! ):
cryssycakesx3 22
at least no one rubbed her belly in PA...
juarezj96 12
Oh my gosh! That's so scary. Hope all is well and you make him pay
JhovannyA 7
What the hell?? I don't see how this was a laughing matter. Jerk
polkadotty4 7
That's not nearly funny. It would be if you wern't pregnant but falling could hurt the baby!
safaeita 32
Oh my god that's TERRIBLE , he doesn't care for you nor for your child :s dump him , you can't go on with a guy like this !!!