Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up, only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Slapstick
Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, I came home on crutches. My dog was immediately afraid of them, and came running towards me, growling and barking. She ran right into me, knocking me over. FML
Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML
Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML
Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML
Jogging is bad for you
Today, I was running with my sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between my legs and I immediately faceplanted on the cement. I now have a swollen nose and cuts all over my body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts and I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML
Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML
Top comments
kaitieloo 22
Ultimate douchebag.
transcedental 18
This is the first time I actually say 'Fuuuck' while reading an FML, and I've been around here for years. This is too brutal for a pregnant lady, he should've taken care of you. Sorry, OP, I hope you're alright.
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Comments (218)
fooltemptress 36
Is it bad that the only thing I can picture in my head while reading this FML is a turtle on its back trying to roll over? That said, your boyfriend should have helped you. You and your unborn baby could have been seriously hurt.
JVIarijke 24
He should've taken waaaaaay better care of you and your unborn child. Tell him off, OP!
Cujo3269 9
I wouldn't do a thing for him for a long time
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22
I wouldn't even let my husband been knocked down twice, I'd probably laugh once I checked if he was alright though. I find that disturbing however that your fiancé thought it was funny to see you being knocked down in your current situation. Either he is extremely stupid or he doesn't care much for your safety and the baby's. In both case: FYL
SkullSphinx 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I don't think being knocked over is going to kill you out your unborn child. Biologically you child is bring protected by a fluid cushion for that reason, among others. We're you hurt by the dog? Did you revive any injuries? Did fall forward onto your stomach? A dog knocked you over, come on, it's not like you fell 3 stories and he laughing at you, all you "sympathizers" are making a big deal out of nothing. I'm sure both her and the baby are perfectly fine.
Katiekhalifa_fml 28
Any of those things could have happened. Being heavily pregnant is strenuous enough on the body without being repeatedly knocked on the ground by someone's dog. Yes, the baby could have been hurt, dogs are unpredictable. Even well-trained dogs. The dog could have head butted her in the stomach, or done any number of things including the things you mentioned. When someone is pregnant, there should be concern for the well being of both the mother and child in a situation like this, and with him there was none. That's not okay, whether she was "seriously hurt" or not.
NotoriousLES 14
I hate to piss on your logic, 17 but there are two important facts you're ignorant of. 1. In the third trimester baby is taking up a lot of space and the layers of fluid and tissue protecting baby are stretched quite thin. 2. All of the mother's joints are loosened up by hormones leaving her body much more prone to injury.
heliophobia 13
@SkullSphnix, it's hard to tell people not to be sympathetic to a pregnant lady knocked over by a dog then laughed at by her fiancé. We won't know all of the context unless OP posts a follow up.
frizz101 22
As stated before me you're wrong, but they also forgot to mention that when a women in their third trimester, something as small as falling could cause premature labor. Even if the baby was unharmed the woman's body is still in distress and could start going into labor to try and save the baby, that's why before modern Medicean women were encouraged to take bed rest in the last trimester. By the way OP I hope you and your baby are fine and I hope your fiancé isn't the complete jerk he seems like.
Harpy20 24
All of the above on top of the fact that even a voluntary jerky movement can cause the placenta to begin to separate from the uterine wall because of stress from all of the extra weight. If you don't understand how that is dangerous then you should take a class. The risk of injury is even higher if she is high risk. Not to mention that the baby could have a defect that can make falls or overexertion(such as struggling to get up repeatedly) even more dangerous. Even if her pregnancy is normal and low-risk, this is not cool.
buddy_J 16
Hey did you know that cars have air bags. Some even in the sides. Great protection. BUT OH WAIT. People still ******* die in car crashes. Why is that? They had protection and everything.
cryssycakesx3 22
#17: although there's some faulty logic, I mostly agree. but I pictured her getting knocked on her butt and the dog mounting her back. pregnant ladies topple everyday. sure Mr Fiancee should have helped her, but I think the reactions on here are a little over the top.
blackychan63 12
Have #17 or #116 ever been pregnant? If not, quit making stupid comments.
xpokeloverx 6
You have obviously never been pregnant. I suffered a partial placental abruption after I was knocked down by a rude asshole. That means the placenta became partially detached from the uterine wall. I could have easily lost my daughter or even died myself
cryssycakesx3 22
I forgot you have to be pregnant to know about the body. apologies.
xpokeloverx 6
You obviously don't know anything about pregnancy
Rainhawk94 27
This man is already failing as a dad
ElizabethNL93 20
Please tell me that the dog got bored and instead went over to head butt your fiancé in the dick.
olpally 32
I hope the dog bit his dick off. What an asshole thing to do.
sarahbevan20 11
So then he cant make any more babies to put in danger.
hannah1747 4
I don't understand how anyone could vote "you deserved it" on this one.
bethrocksya 9
Trolls lol who else?!
CrazyGirlfriend 21
I'm really hoping a lot of people pressed it by accident!!!
Zaharra 10
He is NOT ready to be a father. Ugh.
NotoriousLES 14
When is watching a pregnant lady fall ever funny, especially when it involves your lady, unborn baby, and an uncontrolled dog?