Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up, only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, I came home on crutches. My dog was immediately afraid of them, and came running towards me, growling and barking. She ran right into me, knocking me over. FML
Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML
Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML
Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML
Today, I was running with my sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between my legs and I immediately faceplanted on the cement. I now have a swollen nose and cuts all over my body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts and I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML
Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML
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Top comments
kaitieloo 22
Ultimate douchebag.
transcedental 18
This is the first time I actually say 'Fuuuck' while reading an FML, and I've been around here for years. This is too brutal for a pregnant lady, he should've taken care of you. Sorry, OP, I hope you're alright.
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Comments (218)
SexPot143 13
Douchebag. Tell him no sex and if somethings wrong with the baby its his dumb asses fault for not helping you
chosha_fml 26
585 assholes think a very pregnant woman deserves to be knocked down repeatedly while her fiancé laughs and does nothing to help. Unbelievable!
Cazz91 21
That count is now at a horrible 839 assholes. Is it wrong that I feel like those people deserve a good slap upside the head if they were genuine with the YDI or am I the asshole here for feeling that way? :/
chosha_fml 26
No, they are the assholes.
simmyiphone 18
Over 1500 now. This is shocking! :(
SweetasCandy0609 28
Oh wow he could he even think that is funny I hope you put him in the dog house for a while.
EvilLittleMan 23
Laughing his ass off with a wide open mouth displaying his nasty plaque encrusted teeth. I just hope when little junior gets run steamrolled by a dog he doesn't stand there laughing.
imbedderdenu 23
wow your fiancé is a schmuck
ami200485 14
He better be sleeping on the couch for a very long time
cookie1207 19
Somebody pushed my wife when she was pregnat at a store because the jerk was in a rush and wasn't careful, I PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE TO THE GROUND. My wife and my baby are way to important for me! Dump your fiancee's for being careless
blackychan63 12
Way to go #76! :)
ArianaLuvU 14
If u had not been pregnant, u couldve laughed too.
Ambrily 27
He's going to be a great daddy! ;)
rgri 11
Leave him now, while you have the chance.